Joe was a Corporal serving in a large army garrison in Germany. He was on guard again, but at least this time he had pulled vehicle checkpoint bravo. This was on the married quarter side of the barracks. Joe liked the last 2 hours of the night guard the best, as the civilian guards knocked off at 10:00 leaving a single military sentry with a radio. The checkpoint consisted of an automatic vehicle barrier and a large metal gate that was secured at midnight. This last 2 hours could be a laugh, especially if people were coming back from parties clubs or bars, he enjoyed looking at the girls and women that came through the checkpoint.
On this particular night it was very quiet. Then about 30 minutes after the civilian guards had left he received a call from the main guardroom telling him there had been some sort of incident in one of the regimental lines and he was to let no one in without ID and that he would likely be on his own at the VCP for some time. Shortly after closing the main gate he saw someone approaching the VCP. It was Mrs Smith, who sometimes drove an Alfa sports car or rode an expensive mountain bike. An officer's wife, she was always sexily dressed. Tonight she was on her bike and from the way she was wobbling all over the road, she was a bit tipsy. He stepped out of the guard hut, slid open the metal gate and waited for her to come closer. She wobbled to a stop and he had to catch her bike to prevent her from falling.
"Can I see your ID please?" he asked.
"Of course," she replied, pulling her small shoulder bag around to her front and looking in it. After a bit of a rummage, she looked up,
"I can't find it!"
"Come inside into the light and have a look there," he offered.
He followed her into the guard hut, checking out her short summer dress and high heeled strappy sandals. Once inside she emptied her small purse on the counter top and looked through the contents.
"I must have left it at home tonight, I've only been to a barbeque at a friend's quarter outside the wire – but you know me don't you?" "
"Yes, I know you Mrs Smith, but there has been an incident in the main camp and I am under instruction to let no one in without an ID."
She tossed her pretty auburn hair in disgust.
"I'll phone the main guardroom for instructions if you like" he offered, a plan already hatching in his head.
"Hurry up then would you please!" she said impatiently. He offered her a chair and picked up the phone, dialled his own officer number and pretended to make a call, explaining the problem.
After a series of "Ok, I'll tell her," comments he put the receiver down.
"They say they will be sending down a woman RMP to conduct a search and verify your identity before we can let you in."
"Well, let me call my husband then please" she pleaded, not quite so confident now. "Sorry, not allowed, and anyway all the Headquarters staff have been called in due to the incident."
She sat dejected at that. He noticed she seemed to be crossing and uncrossing her legs, probably wants to pee, he thought.
After 15 – 20 minutes, she said
"Can't you call again and see what's holding them up? Again he made a sham call and then said
"Sorry Mrs Smith, they say it will be at least an hour before they can get someone down here, maybe more – the guard commander suggested I make you a cup of tea."
"I don't want tea, I just want to go home!" she exclaimed.
She sat quietly for a while, fending of his attempts at conversation. Finally after about 45minutes she said,
"Look, this is ridiculous, can't you search me, and I'm hardly likely to be hiding anything in this dress am I?"
"Well, I doubt it is permitted, but I will ask" he said, picking up the phone for another sham call. "Yes, ok understood – I'll ask her" he said, putting the phone down again. "They said if you were prepared to sign a release form it would be ok."
"Well get the form then," She replied.
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to wait for the RMP? He asked.
"I'm not waiting any longer, get the bloody form" she said.
He collected a body search release form and placed it on the counter in front of her, handing her a pen. Without a glance at the form she signed it.
"Come on then, get on with it please" she said, offering her handbag.
He emptied the contents of the small purse on the counter and checked each in term, returning the items to the bag.
"Ok Mrs Smith, turn around and face the wall please." He ordered.
"What are you going to do, you've searched my bag?"
"I'm sorry; I thought I made it pretty clear this is a body search, why do you think a woman RMP was required,"
