By all accounts you are truly a good man. A well-deserved and earned reputation. You've made all the right decisions. You've followed the rules. You've stayed within the lines and it has served you well.
Your plumbing business is thriving. You've got an amazing wife who is a genuinely good mate. And let's be honest, you're a slightly overweight 38-year-old man who is starting to lose his hair. She's aging gracefully and is literally out of your league in the looks department.
There's nothing missing in your relationship. She's submissive in the bedroom. She respects you. And she never withholds her attention or affection from you.
She's a wonderful mother and you are an amazing father. Your kids are overall well-mannered and thrive at school.
You are living the dream. This is truly the life you've always wanted. You love the routine you've settled into. You love knowing what to expect every day.
You are ORDER.
You see her every day in the school pick up line. There she is picking up her 3 kids by 3 different dads. Before the hardship of several years of poor decision making took its toll on her, you're sure she was beautiful once.
You do your best not to judge her, but if you're honest with yourself you are piously thankful that you have chosen better.
She's a mess. Financially, a mess. Socially, mess. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually...mess mess mess.
You constantly hear about all her drama through the grapevine. And though some of her stories sound fun and exciting, the overwhelming majority are sad and exhausting.
You are cordial and respectful toward her when you interact. She flirts, but it's innocent enough considering she openly flirts with everyone. She's thankful for the handful of people like you that treat her as an equal.
She is CHAOS.
One afternoon after a brunch with her friends your wife comes home and begins to tell you how amazing you are compared to a lot of her friends' husbands. You don't do it all the time, but you're more than happy to help with the laundry and the dishes. When it comes to the kids you are always looking for ways to spend time and do things with them. But most of all she tells you how thankful she is for creating a safe and secure life for her and the kids.
Intellectually, you know that this is the highest compliment your wife could pay you. And she genuinely means it. So, your logical mind accepts and relishes in the praise. But your soul dies a little.
You don't always want to be safe. There is a beast inside of you that you've caged and tamed. He's dangerous and adventurous, and damn it, sometimes he wants out.
You push this feeling to the side and go on making all the right decisions and doing all the right things, but it eats at you.
A few weeks later in the school pick-up line, Chaos pulls up next to you and rolls down her window.