(Set in Western Australia)
A restaurant candlelight dinner with an exotic blonde, her slender and yet powerful leg tapping against his leg as if looking to hit a vein of unsuppressed sexual energy and...
The bedroom lights went on and sleepy Ivan's heavily built mum puffed from the stairs climb, "Get up you lazy sod and vacuum the house. It's already 39 deg. and is expected to hit 43C. I'm sweating like a memorial fountain."
"Mum the American word hoovered is a much nicer word; street cleaners vacuum the streets to clear them of cigarette butts, condoms and general litter."
"Don't the proliferation of butts, syringes and discarded condoms qualify as general litter?"
Max (18) sighed and rubbed his eyes but alas his authoritarian mother failed to vanish.
"Aw mum it's 9:15 and that means it's too early for an intellectual debate."
"Well you unless I hear the cleaning machine howling away in five minutes from now I'll be appearing with a broomstick to introduce it to your anus."
"Aw mum."
"Five minutes I said and the clock is ticking."
After the total house vacuuming had been ticked off as having been accomplished satisfactory. Max began calling some of the females that he'd dated more than once because as everyone knows a repeat date indicates at least a minimum level of approval.
After five strike outs his stomaching began churning because he was using a short list with three names to go.
And then a promising response.
Cassidy, who was almost twenty and into her second year at university, was interested but she sounded concerned and asked how he could afford a candlelit dinner for two at McMullan's when he still owned her forty-seven bucks for petrol and condoms when they last dated and she'd paid for the meal.
"Oh yeah sorry, I owe you money. I'll square up with your soon and then suggest a date."
"It's okay I'm overdue for sex. Let's go out this evening."
Alas big steaks under candle lights it wasn't to be.
* * *
Cassidy, a brunette with skinny legs and drooping braless breasts and just 5ft 6in tall, came a little short of Max's dream that morning of dining with a chesty blonde whose parents were on the Rich List.
They were sitting outside MacDonald's eating double cheeseburgers under the illumination of street lights. He reminded his date if he'd possessed the money they would be having dinner at a fancy restaurant under candlelight.
"Whatever gave you the notion of candlelight dinner?"
"I was half-awake this morning..."
"Oh god you've been tugging it excessively."
He lied, "No way and anyway I was thinking about you."
Cassidy did a double take and said her mum would be interested to hear that because she thought Maxwell was the standout guy in the gang.
"You can't say to your mum I was jerking off."
"Why not? Masturbating really is no more damning than saying the weather will be a real scorcher tomorrow."
"I um I guess not."
"Women jerk off too you know."
Max, mouth hanging open, looked at her incredulously.
"You're a doll Max and I really like you; you're so innocent. Perhaps I need to teach you how to have sex with all stops pulled out."
Max looked close to experiencing lockjaw. But he freed up his mouth and said, "You know Cass for a girl you really have depth in what you say compared with most other females, er younger ones."
"Are you saying I'm sophisticated for my age?"
"Yeah."
"My mum would have liked hearing you say that."
"No way, I'm not getting close to her."
"Why ever not?"
Max hesitated and said she would not like hearing what he had to say.
"Go on."
