Author's note: Everyone in the story is at least 18 years old, and the story is entirely fictional. Any similarities to real people or events are purely coincidental. This is my entry in the Holiday Season 2023.
Santa at Victoria's Secret
I had a crush on my next-door neighbor, Trish. That sounds silly coming from a 26-year-old man but it's true. She bought the house almost a year ago. I should have asked her out as soon as I met her, but I was awestruck by her. She managed a Victoria's Secret and was tall with a pretty face, long blonde hair, and a great figure. She could have been one of their models. I was a computer geek with poor social skills. I thought she was way out of my league.
I liked having her as a neighbor. I enjoyed talking to her and we became good friends. That made things worse for me. I was now in the friend zone. She would never see me as boyfriend material. Still, I considered asking her out many times, but if I asked her out and it didn't work, things would have been awkward between us. Besides, I saw the guys that she went out with. They all looked like male models.
I wasn't a bad-looking guy. I was tall and thin and in reasonably decent shape, but you would never see me on a billboard either.
She'd have parties most weekends and would invite me to them, but I didn't fit in. I'd go to be polite, but I'd leave early. Most of her friends were incredibly boring.
Sometimes she called to ask me for a favor, like fixing something at her house, getting viruses off her computer, borrowing my truck, whatever. I'd gladly do whatever I could for her. We'd usually end up talking, drinking, and having fun afterward.
On Christmas Eve, Trish called me at 6:00 a.m. I had a great deal of difficulty understanding her; I was still asleep. She seemed anxious about something. I finally got the gist of what she was going on about. She had made a pitch to upper management to have a special Christmas event at the store on Christmas Eve. Her idea was to take pictures of ladies sitting on Santa's lap wearing Christmas outfits they'd bought in the store. Management agreed that it might work and were going to try it out at her store. They agreed to supply promotional materials and a Santa picture photo setup. If it was a success, they would expand it to other stores next year. The problem was, if it wasn't a success, upper management would not be happy with her because of the costs involved.
Trish told me that she'd hired a Santa, but he was in a car accident and was in the hospital. If she didn't have a Santa, she was going to be in deep trouble.
I said, "So hire another one."
"I've been trying to, but it's hard to find a Santa at this hour on Christmas Eve. That's why I called you. You'd be perfect."
"For what? What are you talking about?"
"I'd like you to be our Santa. Please?"
"What would I have to do?"
"Just have ladies sit on your lap in Christmas lingerie to get their pictures taken."
"I'd argue with you, but you already know I'll do it for you. What time?"
"We open at ten and close at four. Get here as soon as you can. Someone is going to help you with your costume."
I was about to ask why I needed help with my costume but thought, why bother?
I showed up at about 9:00 more awake than when I had been on the phone. Trish showed me around and showed me where the pictures were going to be taken. It was a pretty standard Santa picture setup but had a curtain around it and a sign that said, "Must be 21 or older". Trish told me that it was to keep underaged girls out. It was right next to the changing rooms with a curtain in front of them.
She took me back to the locker room and led me inside. She should have knocked because there were three models there in various stages of undress. They were dressing up as elves. I apologized to them, but Trish told me not to worry, models had no modesty. Nevertheless, I waited outside until they came out.
Trish showed me my costume and it was not like any Santa costume I'd ever seen. It looked like a stylish red business suit trimmed with white fur. The stocking cap was more like a red fedora trimmed in white. I was surprised that it fit me perfectly.
"We're going for a modern Santa look."
"What about the beard and the belly of jelly?"
"No woman wants a belly of jelly, and we got someone to do your makeup."
A woman came in with a big makeup case and in just a few minutes I had white hair and a neatly trimmed white beard.
I came out of the changing room and the elves whistled at me. Who ever heard of six-foot-tall elves in short, lowcut green and red dresses, candy cane stockings, and red patent leather heels? I never knew how sexy elves could be. I recognized one of them from the catalog.
Trish came back and made me turn around for her. "I knew that would fit you." I felt like a piece of meat as the four girls looked me up and down. Santa shouldn't lie; I loved them eyeing me.
