Each and every character swore they were over eighteen before I let them onto the page
My thanks to Remi for editing it for me.
*
"So, Jonathan. How are you settling in?"
"Fine, thanks. Working here is quite enjoyable," I replied.
I'd been here nearly three months now. This was the end of my probationary period.
"Good, I'm glad. Your work performance is well up to expectations. We're pleased to offer you the post on a permanent basis."
The pounding of my heart eased a little. I knew that I had done well, but there's always a little doubt when you get the call that the manager wants to see you.
"Thank you," I replied.
"Don't thank me yet. As our new resident Linux expert I have an interesting job for you. Is your passport up to date?"
"Yes, it's got another two years to run."
"Good, bring it in with you tomorrow. We'll get it off to the embassy for a work visa right away. I haven't gotten the full details yet but you're off to America. Some company wants to use our security suite. They already run Apache servers so it shouldn't be a big job."
My heart started thumping again. I'd landed on my feet here and now I was off to the States for a couple of weeks auditing my favourite operating system.
I left the room with my hands trembling in excitement. The study project I was currently working on could be put on hold while I boned up on the new project. It would be nice to be back working from the command line again.
I was in with my passport the next day, and was given a nice pile of documents to fill out. They stopped short of asking if my mother had slept with the postman but everything else in my life was included.
It took me most of my day to fill them out, including the phone call to my folks for a few details I was unsure of. The secretary who looked them over now knew more about me than any girlfriend ever had.
It was two days later that my manager called me back to his office. He stood there with his back to me when I entered, looking out on the gray British weather.
"Harrumph," he cleared his throat and turned to me. "I've just got the details through about that job."
He glanced at the paper he was holding and looked me in the face.
"Look, I know this is a personal question, but are you gay?"
A frown quickly flashed across my face. "Actually, no. Why do you want to know?"
"Have you got any problems with gay people?"
"Sir, what's this about?"
"You're going to a gay resort," he stated. "But that's not the worst of it. It's a clothing optional place. You'll be expected to walk around nude as well."
It took me a second to digest the information. I was less than pleased to hear the news. I was ok with gays. They weren't my scene but their sexual predilections were their own business. It was the nude part that concerned me.
"The gay part's alright," I told him. "But do I really have to walk round nude?"
"It's part of the contract. I've been onto the director of sales and he tells me that that's the reason we got it. No one over there wanted to touch it but the money is ridiculous, and there's another five sites we can get if we do this well."
He walked to his seat and sat, waving me to the seat opposite.
"You'll have to go. We've got no one else even remotely as qualified as you, unless you want to resign, that is."
He handed me the paper he'd been clutching, leaning across the desk to do so.
"I can promise you a big bonus if you do the job well, and I'll throw in an extra week for you to 'acclimatise' that you can take as a holiday when you've finished. How does that sound?"
I looked at the paper.
'An engineer to go in and audit the current system, and then tailor and install a new security suite. The firm runs a chain of gay 'clothing optional' beaches and lakeside resorts. The HQ is at a lakeside resort. At a little place just outside Colombia, just south of San Andreas. The engineer will be expected to follow the company policy that only protective health and safety wear is permitted.'
My thoughts were all over the place. If it had been just working in a gay environment it would have been ok; if it had been a 'straight' nudist resort I could have come to terms with that, but a gay nudist resort was beyond the bounds of my thinking.
I fastened on the last sentence. 'Only protective health and safety wear is permitted.' I could get away with wearing overalls, and if I stuck to my room then maybe I could pull this off.
At least my body was still in good shape, even though it had been three months since I'd been in a pool. I'd put on, maybe, a couple of pounds, but the extra was layered quite thin.
"I'm not happy," I told him. "But, I'll give it a go. Just make sure it's a big bonus."
The worried look vanished from his face. "Thank God. I'll even fly you first class."
True to his word three weeks later saw me flying into San Francisco with all the trimmings, beautiful airhostesses waiting on me, champagne with the evening meal, and a suitcase stuffed with overalls.
I was met at the airport by a limo and rode in air conditioned comfort up to the resort. It was a little disconcerting having a naked bell boy take my bags but the receptionist was a mouth-watering delight.
