The Gee and the Frea

the third in my internet-spam adaptation series

Blind dates can definitely be a nightmare. It's a symptom of our modern age that dating in general has become so difficult, and that women can be very hard to meet. I will also openly admit that a lot of that difficulty comes from my own general awkwardness. But, I do have a good reputation at work, and with some help from my co-workers, will occasionally be offered the opportunity for a night out or two. I don't think I could have ever predicted how this particular date was going to end up, not with my track record at any rate.

For the sake of propriety, I'll leave out the name of the person I'd been set up with. The original contact had to do with an outside work contract, and a set of exchanged emails that finally led to this afternoon lunch date. If I was smart, I would have kept her at arm distance, but sometimes you have to take a chance. I'm normally not very good at taking chances, it's true, so I went into this little date with a great deal of nervous anticipation.

She was a gorgeous blonde, probably one of the most attractive women I'd ever met in my life. Right away I felt that niggling sense of insecurity, the feeling that this woman was far too good for me. Those kinds of feelings can be death, as the one thing that's going to turn anyone off is insecurity. So, I kept my open smile, and reminded myself to maintain eye contact and not stare down at my shoes.

The downtown cafe where we decided to meet was a pretty nice establishment, quaint, with an interesting mix of people. The oddest person in the place happened to be our waitress, which was the next thing to put me off step that afternoon. Her short, spiky hair was coloured a bright red, and the flash of metal when she spoke was evidence of a tongue piercing. Despite her potentially aggressive appearance, she was friendly and pleasant to us both.

I had to believe things weren't going well when my unsmiling date asked pointed questions about my vocation, including my annual wage and my property ownership. The only thing that could have been worse is if she blatantly asked about my cock size. Well, actually, that would have been better, since my natural endowments happen to be in better shape than my financial ones.

As if to add insult to injury, this woman actually got up and left during the course of the conversation. She left with her lunch half eaten, and me with the bill, naturally. I'd honestly never come across anyone or anything like that before. I was completely stunned, frozen in my seat.

"I can't believe she did that."

The voice came from our freaky waitress, who had apparently witnessed the whole thing.

"Par for the course, I guess," I shrugged, trying to keep any hint of hurt from my voice. "You never know what you're going to get with these internet blind dates, and I have to assume I wasn't up to snuff for her. Not enough you-know-what."

I made the scratching motion with my two fingers.

"No way, nuh-uh," she shook her head. "I don't care what, I'd never treat any guy like the way she treated you. It completely sucks."

"Thanks," I said, reaching for my wallet to pay for the meal. I suspected she was either just being friendly, or fishing for a higher tip.

"I'm being honest," she continued. "I've met people online before too. Even when they're not great, you at least give them a chance, you know? And hell, I don't see what her problem with you is. You look like a very nice guy to me."

"Yeah, and we both know where nice guys finish, right?"

"No, no, none of that stuff," she said sternly, looking me in the eye. "I don't want a bitch like that turning you into a little ball of bitterness. I'm going to make it up to you, on behalf of our so-called fairer sex."

She gave me her phone number on a blank card. I looked up at her in unmasked astonishment.

"You're serious," I said, not at all certain one way or the other.

"Promise," she nodded, walking away. "And I'll be sure to wear something sexy too."

This was definitely something out of the blue for me. The name written on the card was Alix. Interesting spelling, I thought, for an interesting girl. In all fairness, she wasn't the sort of person I'd naturally be attracted to. The whole tattoo and body piercing thing usually leaves me cold. But, beyond those details, she actually did have a killer, slender body, no question. If she ever decided to go natural, she could be at least as beautiful as the woman who just dumped me. Maybe that was just looking at the bright side. In any event, at that point, I was game for anything she might suggest.

Needless to say, I did call her later in the evening, and she came right over. I was nervous, not at all sure what to expect. Having a woman over to your home; it brings with it some very strong connotations. Heart racing, I quickly began to tidy up. I hoped my apartment wasn't too much of a mess for her. It was silly, given the way she looked, that I should even worry. It wasn't as if she was the sort of person I would normally be trying to impress anyway, so I knew I really didn't have a great deal to lose. So, why was I so on edge? I think I already half knew, but I didn't want to allow myself to think about that, for fear I might lose my nerve.

As promised, she was indeed dressed to kill. She wore a one piece number that was light purple in colour, tight to the body, and made from some sort of plastic or leather. Sleeveless, the hemline was far above the knee, revealing a barely legal amount of leg. Her lipstick and nail gloss were a matching colour, close to lavender or a particular shade of exotic metal. Her naturally dark olive skin didn't appear to need much make up beyond her dark blue eye shadow.

She stepped inside as if she lived here, completely without reservation. I awkwardly greeted her -I'm not even sure exactly what I said, while she slipped off her heels by the door, leaving her in bare feet.

"Is there anything you wanted to do," I asked, waving a vague hand towards my living room. "Maybe..."

"I don't beat around the bush," she assured me. "I'm here to give you what you should have gotten from that other bitch."

"Er, and what is that?"

"Sex."

She folded me into a loose embrace, arms draped across my shoulders. I could smell her perfume, a scent that was less than subtle. She was almost as tall as I was, and her blue eyes were piercing and perfectly clear.

"Why do you want to do this," I asked, oblivious to the old gift-horse wisdom.

"You make it sound like you've never had a one stand before," she teased, moving my hand from her waist to the swell of her left breast.

"I, um, guess I haven't," I admitted, though I did nothing to remove that hand, feeling the soft give of her bosom through her dress. "I suppose I'd always bought into that line about sex without love being an empty experience."

This gave Alix a good laugh.

"Maybe you should have listened to Woody Allen instead," she said, nuzzling her lips close to her ear. "'Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad it's good.'"

She reached down and quickly unzipped by jeans with her nimble fingers. Pulling down my pants, she bent low and examined my blatantly erect cock. Teasing the end a little with her fingertips, she then parted her lavender shaded lips and took my length into her mouth. I must have moaned out loud, and twitched when I felt the rounded end of her tongue stud brush against the sensitive underside of my prick. I never would have imagined how much that delicately wielded bit of metal could improve the sensations of a blowjob.

So, this was the mythical sexually-liberated-woman I'd dreamed of for so long. I would have been willing to bet her kind were a dead species, but obviously I'd been looking in all the wrong places -more correct to say I hadn't looked at all. I was tempted to ask if all freaks were like her, but 'freak' is not a word you want to use out loud when your most precious organ is swallowed up inside that persons mouth.

In between sucking my organ, Alix helped me undress, and in short order I was entirely naked. We quickly stepped into my bedroom, where she let me undo the top her dress and slip it off her narrow, well formed body. The vicious minx hadn't even bothered with a bra, though her breasts were modest enough that she didn't need one. Still, they were absolutely gorgeous, with just a slight amount of natural droop, and round pink nipples. Her belly button was surrounded by an ornate, Aztec-inspired sunburst design, and the tip of yet another tattoo peeked above the waistband of her decorative blue panties.

Contrasting her original unabashed aggressiveness, Alix now lets me lay her back on the bed sheets and explore her body at will. She giggled a bit as I squeezed and sucked on her breasts, running her short fingernails against my naked back. I then took hold of the waistband of her delicate underwear and pulled it down off her hips. It seemed she had yet another surprise waiting for me, beyond the small zodiac tattoo that was now revealed. Her entire pubis was bare, all the hair shaved completely off. I think I stared in obvious surprise for a few breathless moments, taking in the strange and obscene sight. Naturally, I didn't let this examination be entirely visual, as my fingertips played over her most private parts.

"I'm surprised you don't have a piercing down there as well," I remarked, once I'd regained my wits.

"Mmm, no, not yet," she murmured. "Maybe eventually. Right now, I kind of like it just as it is."

I had to agree. Unable to resist, I plunged two fingers inside the weeping channel of her vagina, feeling and probing her soft interior. Wet sloppy noises escaped from her cunt as I finger fucked her, bending in close to see the red tip of her barely hidden clitoris.

"Turn around," she told me breathlessly. I was at a loss at to what she meant until I realized she wanted to 69. The number of things I was seeing or trying for the first time were continuing to mount. I carefully swung one leg over her head and positioned my hips so she could reach up and take my engorged member in hand.

I'd never given cunnilingus from this reverse angle before. I have no idea if it felt better or worse for her than the ordinary way, but I had a blast being able to lick and suck over her naked pussy lips and clit, while she teased and sucked me to complete distraction.

I probably could have spent forever like that, but I was eager to move on. Perhaps too eager, but at that moment I felt like the luckiest man alive, and I was going to fuck this freaky little slut in every position I knew. Crawling on top of her body, I moved between her open thighs and thrust myself inside.

It's probably a terrible thing, simply fucking someone because they make themselves available to you. And I can't say that Alix is the kind of woman I'd show off to my friends and family under any circumstance. But, when you have your cock pushing into the warm wet confines of a woman's vagina, they become instant goddesses, and you'd do anything to please them, and rain kisses down upon their flesh in adoration.

It was sweaty, frenetic and completely base. We fucked like that with her on her back for a while, then I had her turn around to take her from behind. Her long lean back was decorated with a tattoo design like bat wings, the very image of a demonic succubus, come to take the seed from unsuspecting men. In my case, I guess I was suspecting, but I that didn't stop me from coming deep in her pussy.

To Alix's credit, she didn't take off after that point, but remained by my side. In fact, her active and insistent fingers had me worked into yet another erection within the span of ten minutes or so. She wasn't going to be denied, and crawled on top of me, fucking me this time rather than I fucking her. The intercourse was so long I thought I might never come, but with her lying on her back once again, legs raised high, I finally pushed myself over the edge and ejaculated into her completely sopping cunt.

Turning the lights out, we lay together side by side. I more or less assumed we'd fall quickly into sleep, but in fact my naughty little hands found their way to Alix's breasts. Meeting no resistance, and not even sure she was completely asleep or awake, I played with them a little, then slid my hand down her flat stomach to her naked pussy. Still wet from our extended bout of coupling, I moved and explored with my fingers, finding the bump at the top of her cunt describing her clitoris. I quietly finger fucked her for a while, then moved my wet digits over her clit and began to rub hard and fast over the spot. Alix had her thighs wide open at this point, and her breathing betrayed a swift and growing arousal. I didn't stop until I felt the familiar spasms inside her pussy that told me she'd gone over the edge herself in orgasm.

"Take me," she breathed, turning so that I could spoon her from behind.

As one could guess, I was hard once more, and we fucked for a long while in that position until I could hold out no longer, and once again injected my semen deep within her.

I was the first to wake the following morning. Looking over at her face, I had to smile. Her make up was smeared, and her dyed red hair looked matted and unkempt; messy in an unintentional way, as opposed to the carefully arranged disorder she normally chose to wear it. Yes, she wasn't a pretty sight, but what made me smile was the fact she wasn't that bad looking either. In all honesty, at that moment, I knew I didn't have a thing to be ashamed of. She was someone who liked sex, and I gave her what she wanted. In return, I dare say I came off rather well myself. As if to add to what had already been a wonderful experience, we ended up making love once more before she left.

"Don't give up on dating," she told me, "Not all women are bitches like that blonde was. You're a cool guy, and if you ever forget that, just remember me and the fun we had. Alright?"

Strange to say, but fucking this freaky chick actually gave me the confidence boost to give it another try. I never thought I would be the person to say this, but not all one night stands or casual sex encounters are meaningless. Probably not a life lesson one would want to pass on to one's kids, but there it is anyway.