There it went, my mind wandering again. Scanning the patrons at our favorite seafood joint. Not crazy about the place but everyone else seemed to like it, and I was here more for the social aspect than the food. Was kind of in my haze. Everyone else was in a conversation on a topic I was not big on so as they talked, I daydreamed. The talk receded into the distance. I did some people watching and yeah, I looked at women.
My eyes would inevitably come back to our table and Megan. Sweet Megan. She and her husband Jim became friends with us through mutual friends. Isn't that how everyone meets? I thought she was cute and funny from the beginning, but as time passed I was surprised at how deeply I felt for her.
Looking at her, unaware, caught up in the conversation and laughing with everyone, I had to smile. I thought she was so beautiful. She did not have the face or body of a Playboy foldout. That is what I loved about her. Whatever it was that she would tell you she didn't like about her body or her looks is exactly what I would think made her sexy.
She was tall, nice curves and long legs, and was the only redhead I had ever known that could actually get a deep tan in the summer. Her skin was luminescent. Her skin. I stared at it. It was smooth and brown. I imagined what it must feel like. Christ! I was already imagining her in my embrace, moving my hand under her shirt in back and sliding it up until I felt her bra. OK, snap out of it!
What I had with Megan was not just in my head. Sweet Megan had feelings for me too. We spent last Fourth of July with them and everyone was getting majorly wasted. A slow song came on the stereo and Megan took my hand. I assumed the traditional slow dance pose with my left hand raised to take hers. Instead she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me close.
It is amazing what you can communicate to someone without words, just with touch. I felt her warm breath in my ear. When we were turned from view my hands would explore her torso. God, is there anything more erotic than a woman's lower back? I could feel her hips pressed against mine.
Later we all retired to the living room to watch TV. The lights were off with just the flickering cold glow of the screen to illuminate the room. Megan sat beside me on the couch. As we watched TV, her hand found mine and she threaded her fingers through mine and squeezed tight. We opened our grasp and I slid my index finger slowly back and forth through her fingers. While all of us were watching TV, our hands were making love and we both knew it. We just couldn't say it.
Yes, she had told me in so many words that she was in love with me online. Much easier than in person, that's for sure. However, there was the unspoken rule: lovers online, just friends in public. Can there be a more torturous situation than two people that feel a moral obligation but an irresistible attraction?
It was Monday morning, long after the wife had left for work, when the door bell rang. I slowly walked downstairs half expecting to see someone selling something. I pulled the door open slowly and peered around. My heart skipped a beat and I felt numb. It was Megan, smiling awkwardly.
"Megan! You're the last person I expected to see! Come on in!" I exclaimed as she walked through the door with two half empty bottles.
"I just thought I would bring back your wine from last night," she said as she placed the bottles on the counter.
"Well you didn't have to," I assured her.
We made a bit of nervous small talk followed by an awkward silence, both of us looking at each other and then the floor.
