Due to a shortage of key medical expertise in certain areas of my hospital, a reorganisation had to take place quite quickly. I was called up to the consultant's panel at short notice and told that we were overstaffed in my area, namely the ear, nose and throat (ENT) department, and that I was therefore being transferred, with immediate effect, to women's medical.
Now, this came as something of a shock. I worked so hard on my particular ENT specialty during medical school and thus had no time at all for girlfriends and therefore I had little if any knowledge of the female body – particularly – well, you know, the juicy bits down below. As a junior houseman for the past 2 years I certainly had no time to conduct explorations southwards in this direction. I thus felt very exposed and vulnerable as I lacked the basic knowledge of 'lady's parts'.
I walked out of the administration building towards ENT for perhaps the last time and I must have been looking most downcast. A nurse whose name I knew to be Sarah walked past me in the opposite direction. I had seen her around the hospital but had never spoken to her, maybe just a smile in the lunch queue.
"Hey, has the World ended?" She cried. "What's up doc? You look like you just lost a 10 million squid lottery ticket. Come and have a coffee and tell me all about it. Come on, I won't take no for an answer."
Sarah was a young and busty brunette lady, around 25 years old, with short cut curly hair, cheeky brown eyes, high cheek bones with a most amazingly adventurous and stunning smile. It was this last factor which persuaded me to accompany her to the staff canteen and to buy her a coffee and a pastry. After we settled down, I explained my dilemma.
"I mean, I just don't know the necessary bits and pieces. I have no idea what everything is called, what it does and I know I will be so embarrassed even just looking at ladies, you know, bits and bobs, let alone having to touch them and put my fingers inside – I simply don't think I can do it!
"Right, what you need is a crash course in female anatomy and sexual issues. Let me make a phone call." With that she left me to mope into my coffee and chew on the tasteless pastry. She returned 4 minutes later with a large grin on her face. "Right, all arranged, my flat mate Fiona has got 2 days off and I know she spent last night shagging her boyfriend Neil – he is a para-medic and is on duty this evening so she is free and she has no scruples about her body whatsoever. So, my dear doctor, present yourself at this address at around 7 this evening and she will play the part of a mannequin, perhaps more a rubber sex doll really, and I will teach you all you need to know about ladies 'bits' as you call them and show you how to conduct an intimate examination using Fiona's body to demonstrate. Don't worry, I shall bring lots of lube – not that she will need too much of that as she is always moist and ready for action – and lots of rubber gloves too so you will have no excuse for not getting stuck right in. See you later! Don't be late."
With that Sarah disappeared leaving a small card with her address and telephone number scribbled on the back. Oh dear, I thought, whatever have I done!
I packed up my locker in ENT and said au revoir to the staff I worked with – I was so sad to be leaving them. I went back to my flat, had a shower and a stiff gin to give me some courage and walked the short distance round to Sarah's flat. She lived on the second floor of a nicely maintained Victorian residence which was well appointed and beautifully decorated. I rang the doorbell and pushed the door open when the buzzer opened the lock. Mounting the stairs, Sarah met me at her front door dressed in a white tee shirt, I noticed that she was not wearing a bra and her nipples protruded proudly erect, and a pair of silky blue flowing trousers – overall, she looked rather nice I thought.
"Come on in." She invited.
Inside, the flat was scrupulous and tastefully decorated. She had a good eye for both paintings and sculptures – mainly, I noticed, of naked men and women!
"Have you eaten and would you like a drink? Yes, of course you would – G&T?"
"That would be lovely, thank you." I said, already feeling my heart rate rising and my mouth turning increasingly dry at what I was about to be invited to do.
There must have been some tonic in the gin when it arrived, nicely dressed with ice and a slice of lime, but it would have been hard to find. Nevertheless, I took a big gulp to further stiffen my resolve.
"Right, follow me and we will go to see Fiona. Take you jacket off, make yourself comfortable and relax! We girls don't bite, well, unless you ask us to!" she added playfully.