Epilogue

I love weddings. I love how they bring together your close friends and family for a party and celebration, where everyone can have a good time and enjoy themselves and not worry about the complexities of life for a day. That said friends and family can witness you declare your love for the man of your dreams and celebrate in that love through the celebrated mediums of food, drink and dancing.

Standing at the side of the dancefloor holding a flute of something fancy, I can see all of those smiling faces. My brother, the high-functioning fool that he is, with his tie wrapped around his forehead and his cheeks flushed red from the wine he's spent most of the day drinking. His beautiful wife, swirling in a blue dress around him, laughing at how idiotic her husband could be and loving him even more despite it.

My sister too, holding her very tired looking daughter in her arms and bouncing along to the song being blared from the speakers beside the DJ. It's like she can feel my eyes on her because they find mine and she smiles before heading over towards me. Abby turns and notices where they're heading and reaches out for me. I dutifully take my four year old niece from her mother and hold her masterfully at my hip.

"Shouldn't you be dancing?" Hannah asks as she leans on the pillar beside me.

"Some of us are here till the lights come up Han," I say. "Not all of us can run off on child care duties."

"I'm not sure which sounds more appealing. When did partying become such hard work?"

"Probably as soon as this one was born eh?" I chime, playfully pinching Abby's cheek until she gives me the delightful little giggle I adore so much. A giggle almost as perfect as my son's. "Are you sure you don't mind taking Dillon?"

Hannah had come a long way since I'd announced my pregnancy. It had been a shock when, after a few months of being a new mother, I had gone round and told my family I was expecting again. We'd wanted to wait until the higher risk of miscarriage had passed before saying anything to anyone, but I'm sure some weren't too surprised considering I was just starting to show. Hannah hadn't noticed though, so her surprise was genuine when we had told her.

It had taken some time, some awkwardness, but she had grown and motherhood had changed her. So when my son was finally born after making us all wait far too long, Hannah was nothing but supportive and delighted at becoming an aunt once more.

But her reaction was nothing compared to that of my partners. I will never forget looking up as I held our son in my arms and seeing Will standing beside me, looking down in wonder at what we'd created. The culmination of our union and love for one another, all put into a little baby. Nor will I forget how he had looked at me with the biggest grin.

"You're incredible," he'd told me, voice choking with emotion. "I've never, ever been so proud of you as I am now. At what you've gone through for us."

"I do my best," I laughed, then I'd gripped his shirt and pulled him down to my lips so I could truly savour the moment. And because after hours of pain, I wanted something that would cheer me up. And his lips always, always cheered me up.

Will continued to cheer me up over the next few years as he took to fatherhood with the relish I had suspected he would have for it. He was caring and doting beyond any reasonable expectation, with a willingness to get his hands dirty and help out, not just with Dillon, but also Gabby and Jo too. It was like fatherhood was an instinct he was just born with, even when two of the children weren't his.

Love is such a wonderful thing. How when you find it, really find it, it blooms like a rose. And slowly you get to see more petals, see how multi-faceted a feeling it truly is. I had thought I was in love with Will before, but seeing him as a dad made me fall for him even harder. Now he wasn't just the best lover I'd ever had - he became so much more than that. I have never loved anyone as I love him, and I doubt I ever will.

It is why those doubts of marriage became less and less prominent in my mind. The experience I'd had before, the bitterness I'd had for such events, became less important because I wanted to declare my love for this man to anyone who would listen. It became a need, not a want, to be his wife, and for him to be my husband.

So on the eve of Dillon's first birthday, he proposed again. Properly this time - not after a sweaty coupling. This time we got it the right way round - proposing, and agreeing, to marriage in the woods near our new home. And then, that night, we consummated it the only way we knew how.

We both wanted something simple. And while I wanted to marry him desperately, and to have our friends and family there to witness it, I also didn't want to spend a great deal of money. Now we had three kids there were more important things to spend our money on, and regardless of how he had changed me, I still wanted to be frugal with our money.

Better that we save some money for a nice family holiday than spend it on one day.

It took two years from proposal to the actual wedding day. With our hard rules on what we wanted, it took time to find the right venue. And when you're a busy family of five it's hard to prioritise such things when there's homework and dinner and clubs to organise. Yes, there were times when things got a little strained, but to our great credit we never lost our temper with one another. Patience is another gift Will has given me.

I knew what to expect come my wedding day. I knew it would all flash by in an instant and so it was again. My girls are my bridesmaids and my dad walks me down the aisle for a second time. The vows that I share with Will, as I hold his hands, I mean with all my heart - just because I've said them before doesn't make them any less valid a second time to a different man. If anything they mean more, because I've learned so much in the time between.

When the registrar announces to everyone in the hall that we can now kiss, that I'm now as much his as he is mine, I barely even hear the whoops and round of applause that go around the room. All I see is Will, and all I feel is his hands holding me as our lips press together and we become husband and wife.

It has been a long road to get here. To this moment where I wear two bands of silver around my finger once more. The same could be said of Hannah as she looks at my youngest whom she will be looking after for the night.

"He's no problem," she says as she looks back to me. "Just make sure you have a good evening. And maybe don't get as drunk as I did - I don't think that went down well with Will."

The subject of their marriage doesn't often come up considering it was so short lived. But each time it does I have to bite my lip, because part of me wants to tell Hannah the truth. That her wedding night wasn't just ruined by her drinking to excess. It was also ruined by me, fucking her new husband. For planting seeds in us that would eventually lead to us sleeping together repeatedly.

I have not told her at any point, and this time is no exception. I smile kindly at my little sister and then embrace her, giving her daughter a hug before handing her back and stepping back.

"I should go and fraternise with the guests I guess," I say as I step back and look around for Will. I frown when I realise I've not seen him for a while now. Perhaps it's the reminder of how we'd started, but my heart flutters slightly as I consider whether he could possibly do that again.

I'm distracted by those thoughts as I kiss goodbye to my family, inwardly admonishing Will for not being here to say goodnight to his son. I wave off my sister and her family before heading back inside with the intention of finding my husband.

When he cannot be found I feel that anxiety creep up. Is this my punishment for my silence? I have to admit that despite everything going so well between us, I can't help but feel like he's settling for me. He is still the most gorgeous man I've ever set eyes on, but me... I'm in my forties now, and things are saggier and not as firm as they once were.

But he wouldn't do something like this again. Would he?

In my searching I find his best man, Matt, who is stood outside looking sheepish. When he sees me he starts and I feel my anxiety continue to build.

"There she is!" he says with false bravado.

"Where's Will?" I ask him firmly, and I see the tension in his body at my question. He knows something. Then he glances over towards the grounds and I follow his gaze to the woods at the furthest reaches of the wedding venue. Secluded and isolated - just like the woods where me and Will first acted on our attraction. I turn back to Matt.

"What is he doing there?"

"Nothing important. You don't need to worry Izzy, he'll-"

I don't wait. All thoughts are now on finding my new husband and whoever he is with. My pace is brisk, my flat white pumps crunching across the grass as I make my way into the woods. I cannot believe he's done this again I think. That after all that we've shared and done to get to this moment, he's already cheating before the day is over.

Biting my lip hard and telling myself not to cry, I follow the worn path into the woods and notice the slight glow of light and a dark silhouette in the middle. My pace slows and I listen hard for the sound of moaning. But there's nothing other than the sound of feet shuffling around and the crunch of dead leaves on the ground.

"Will?" I say tentatively as I turn a corner and find my husband stood beside a blanket, candles and a bottle of whiskey. He turns around with a start and places a hand on his chest.

"Hey gorgeous," he says with his genuine smile.

I look around at everything he's done and the anxiety starts to fade as I slowly realise what he has been doing. "What are you doing?" I ask, and he offers me a nervous smile and rubs at the back of his neck.

"It was meant for later, when the day was done. Thought we could come out here and... well, do what we did to start all this off. Just with not as much naughtiness I guess."

All the anxiety fades then and all the fears I'd had disappear. I step forward and place my hands on his chest and look up into that honest face and wonder why I could have ever doubted him. When he's done so much for my self worth. Yet even that isn't enough apparently.

"I thought..."

"You thought I was here with someone else," he says softly, hands going to my waist. "Matt messaged me. Said you looked pissed off and was heading my way. Izzy, I know we came from an impure place, but that doesn't mean you should ever doubt how I feel. I didn't cheat on Hannah because you were there - I cheated because it was you."

I lean up and kiss him as silent thanks, the spectre of my low self esteem banished once more by my new husband. In return I am hugged tight, Will showing me once again that he knows me better than anyone ever has.

As can be seen by what he's organised in the woods. I glance around at the effort he's made and shake my head at how thoughtful he's been. "You like it?" I hear him ask into my ear.

"Love it. Though I hope you know this came at not kissing your son goodnight."

Will stiffens and I hear him exhale. "Oh fuck," he says with a grimace. "Oh Iz... I totally forgot. How bad is that? And the girls too?"

"They went home with their dad about fifteen minutes ago."

Behind his eyes I can see how he admonishes himself. It's something I've noticed over the years, when he feels he's let himself down by being too short with his children. I know there is nothing that I will say that will be worse than his own self-introspection. So my hand reaches up to caress his cheek.

"Hey," I whisper, bringing him back to me. "It happens. It's been a busy day and you got distracted. It will be forgotten about by morning when all they'll want to do is spend time with their dad again."

"Well, one of their dads."

"No Will," I reply tartly, poking his chest with a finger. "He's a dad for two days a fortnight. As far as I'm concerned you're the dad to all our children."

His face melts and I feel his lungs exhale his guilt into the night air. I give him a nod, confirming that this conversation is done, then take his hand and step back towards the path. "Come on," I tell him. "We have a party to get to."

I don't even take one step. There's a powerful tug on my hand and I'm immediately brought back into the body of my husband. "What's the rush?" he asks me with a mischievous smirk, hands on my waist and slowly moving south.

"Here?" I laugh. "Now?"

His head bows to kiss my chin and neck and the resolve I have for getting back is immediately weakened. "You can't expect me to not be horny as hell considering how good you've looked all day, right? And with it being three weeks since we last fucked."

"That was your idea!" I giggle as hands grip my behind and he pulls me into him. "I would have been happy to fuck right up until five minutes before we got married. You wanted us to have a break so this night was special."

"And it will be," he mumbles into my bare shoulder. "But a starving man can only wait for so long when there's a banquet all dressed up for him."

How he can make me laugh. My hand runs into his hair as I glance down and see him kissing the top of my substantial cleavage. Yes, seeing him this aroused makes it very hard to say no. "You don't want to wait until the honeymoon suite?" I purr as fingers tease around his ears. "When I can show you the nice lingerie I've bought just - for - you?"

Will grunts and comes up to meet my eyes, hands obsessively gripping my waist just how I like as our foreheads press together. He knows my resolve is all but gone. "You think," he starts, voice thick with lust. "That after three weeks we're only going to manage this once tonight?"

"Promises, promises." I mutter just before our lips smack sloppily together, a day of drinking and weeks of self-inflicted abstinence fueling our mutual desire for one another.

Our hands caress one another with obvious need, and I realise that preparing for the wedding and dealing with our family life has distracted me from the fact that I have really, really missed my man. In our years together we have never gone as long as this without being intimate, and I suddenly find I am as starved as him. A bold hand goes to his groin and I feel his thick length through his trousers, confirming that he indeed feels the same way.

"Thought you wanted to wait?" he needles playfully.

"Fuck waiting," I reply, nipping at his lower lip just as he lifts me up into his arms.

The dress makes it hard to wrap my legs around him, but I don't really need to as Will drops us to the blanket he's thoughtfully brought outside and lays me down on it. I keep him close, tearing off his jacket as his fingers undo the lattice of ribbons at the front of my bodice. Not enough that it will be a pain to do back up thankfully, but enough so that he can pull it down and to free my breasts.

His lips immediately go to the exposed nipples, sucking on them as if he'd never seen them before. Will's desire for me hasn't faded for a moment in all the time we'd been together, especially when it comes to my tits. Fuck is it clear he loves my tits, from the way he kisses and flicks my nipples with his tongue, to the way his large hand gropes and pinches them.

"Fuuuck," I breathe, back arching as I impatiently wait for him to take me. Whether he consciously notices I don't know, but he lifts up off of me and starts to bundle up my wedding dress up to my hips.

"Don't you rip it mister," I tease, but in reality I don't care. All I care about is being joined with my man again.

"And your panties? Can they be ripped?" he asks me, fingers toying with the delicate lace I'm wearing. In response I bite my lip, and Will grins down at me as I hear the rip of my underwear being ruined. I groan out loudly and shift on the blanket, hips lifting off as I wait for him to remove his cock for me.

"Going to fuck your wife?" I ask him as he starts to pull down his zipper. His eyes burn with his want, and he bares his teeth as my hands grope my breasts and tease my nipples. "Going to consummate us right here?"

"Too right I am," he growls, his trousers undone and his boxers pulled down. His cock stands up, the tip oozing with precum as he settles between my legs. He slides his head along my slit, teasing us both ever so briefly. But neither of us want or need teasing, and in the next moment he thrusts long and deep into me.

The woods echo with my moan and before another note can escape my lips his hand is over my mouth, muffling the next one. My husband falls on top of me and I slide my hands up under his shirt to the small of his back as he drills himself into me.

"Never could manage being quiet, could you?" he grunts into my ear, and my head feebly shakes in response. But I remove his hand and squeeze it tight. "Shouldn't make me wait then," I growl back, my hips raising to meet his powerful thrusts.

It's not too different from our first time together. All passion and carnal need for the other, with Will's strokes as deep and powerful as then as he fucks me. I quiet myself by pushing into his neck, my moans now muffled against his skin.

He continues to pump into me, quick and needy, for a time before he lifts himself up to change the angel. I paw at his shirt as he removes his weight from my body and he sits on his knees between my legs, arms wrapping around pale thighs that are wrapped in pale white stockings. "God you're gorgeous he groans as he slowly slides his manhood deep, holds himself there and then pulls back.

He continues this slow process of working my body into a fever, slowly pulling back his cock and then rapidly slamming it back into me, then holding himself there with subtle pressure from his hips. It's something he's done plenty over the years as he's learned what makes me tick, and I usually adore it. But I usually don't have to wait three weeks for him to be inside of me again.

"How are you not fucking my brains out?" I whimper to him, knowing he's prolonging this time with me but wishing he wouldn't when I've missed doing this with him for so long. Will chuckles in response and pushes deep into me again, forcing another groan from me.

After what I consider to be too long, I take matters into my own hands. Grabbing his arms, I pull myself up into his lap and wrap my arms around his shoulders to steady myself. In that moment I hate that satisfied grin as I start bucking my hips hard on his manhood.

"You'll stain my trousers," he says as he holds onto my behind.

"Should have thought about that when you were teasing me," I reply through grunts of exertion. "Three fucking weeks Will - a woman has needs."

Will kisses me and grips my hips to help me take him harder. "I promise to make you never wait as long again." he pants and I touch his face as my moans return, strangled through the effort I'm putting in to ride him as hard as I need to.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

We both hold each other's faces as we build towards release, our gazes stuck to the other as I'm held in his strong arms. Those are the only eyes I ever want to have look at me like this. This body is the only one I want to be intimate with. He is perfection. And he is mine.

"I love you!"

"I love you too!"

They're the last words spoken. Sloppy kissing, panting and moaning follow as I roll my hips hard and fast as I approach release. But not without him. Never without him. As he hears my higher pitched gasps he plants me back onto the ground, and with my name ripped from his lips he plunges deep and starts to pump torrents of cum into my pussy as my muscles clench around his.

"Fuck Will!" I shudder, wrapping my limbs around him as I gasp for air beneath him, his cock slamming deep into me twice more before he holds himself there within me, the last of his seed spilling into my sex.