When We Were Young Ch 08 1

CHAPTER EIGHT: SIX YEARS AGO

Bianca and Sienna sat behind me on the bed, all three of us staring at the positive pregnancy test. My bedroom door was locked so Mom wouldn't walk in on this situation, whatever it was. Thank god I had sisters. My heart hadn't stopped pounding for the last ten minutes and I was starting to worry it would turn into a heart attack if I didn't calm down.

It was Bianca who broke the anxious silence. I'd expected a lecture, at the very least, but instead she just asked plainly, "So what are we doing about this?"

Sienna added, "I can drive you to a clinic as soon as you want."

"Or we can help you find an adoption agency," Bianca threw in.

I swallowed. "Or..."

"Or," Sienna agreed. "There's always the other option, too."

"Wait, wait, wait," Bianca interjected. Her face warped into the stern shade I'd been expecting. "You can't seriously be thinking about keeping it."

"Is that so crazy?"

"Yes, that's crazy!" She shoved me on the arm. "You're eighteen, Mariana. You haven't gone to college or lived on your own or traveled to Europe or-"

"Stop it, Bi," Sienna said softly when she realized I was crying. She leaned over and put her arm around me. Bianca joined her, too, in hugging me. Sienna said, "We're in your corner no matter what. Just because Bianca's a righteous bitch doesn't mean she's not on your side."

We all broke out in laughter that felt so good after the last few minutes.

Bianca sighed and told me, "And just because something's crazy doesn't mean it can't be the right decision. If that's what you decide."

"I just need time to think right now." Standing up, I went to the bathroom for a glass of water. When I came back to them, their eyes were kind. "Do I have to tell Beck now?"

Sienna started with, "Of course you do, he's-"

"No," Bianca interrupted authoritatively. "He's leaving in less than a week."

Sienna glared back at her. "So what? He's the dad; he has a right to-"

"He's an ejaculation." Bianca looked back at me and explained her view: "If you tell him, you're changing his life forever. You have to choose -- no matter what you want for yourself and this pregnancy -- if he gets to go back to school like he wanted and have the life he expected to have before coming here or if he has to scramble to find a dead-end job to stay in Southbridge with you for a pregnancy you might not even want to keep. Telling him now is selfish."

I looked between my sisters. Sienna had shrunken back a bit; she agreed with Bianca now, at least to some extent, and I didn't know what to think, much less what to do. I sighed and sat back down with them.

Then, Bianca asked, "When are you going to tell Mom?"

"Oh my god," I groaned and shoved my face into a pillow. "Mom. What if she kills me?"

"She's not going to kill you."

"What if she kicks me out? I don't have anywhere else to go."

"She's not going to kick you out," Bianca reassured me. "And you can always come stay with me if you need to."

I sighed again and kept my face in the linens. It was weirdly soothing to not see anything or take in any stimulus beyond the fresh laundry scent. "Thank you. I don't even know what to think right now."

"You don't have to," Sienna replied. "If you're, you know, exercising your right to choose, then you have until the fall to think about it."

"I don't want to get attached, though, if-"

"Stop, Mari." Bianca pulled me over into her arms like she did when I was little. "You don't need to freak out about this now. Be eighteen until Beck's gone. Have fun, live your life, and then decide if you're ready for it to be different forever."

I nodded slowly and un-burrowed from the bed. "I'm going to go down to the beach. I think better down there."

"Good plan. Need a ride?"

"I'll walk; it's not too far."

I changed into a bikini, pulled an oversized tee on top, and went outside with only my beach towel underneath my arm. I needed to unplug. As I stepped outside, the warm breeze carried me with the smell of sea air and sun-baked sand. The walk to the beach was a short one, a path I knew by heart after almost two decades living here, but today it felt different, like the world had subtly shifted without my permission. My thoughts were too heavy compared to the bright end-of-summer afternoon. The sound of the waves grew louder as I neared the shoreline in a steady, soothing rhythm that had always calmed me.

I kicked off my sandals as I reached the edge of the sand, feeling the grains sift between my toes, grounding me in a way I desperately needed. With each step toward the water, the weight on my chest eased just a little. I found a quiet spot, far enough from the other beachgoers that I could be alone with my thoughts. I spread out my towel and then sunk down into it. The air was thick and salty today as I lay on my back, eyes closed, just breathing. The sun's warmth permeated my skin and I let myself pretend that everything was normal for a few minutes.

But the thoughts wouldn't stay buried for long. They bubbled up, relentless and demanding attention. I pictured the tiny, life-changing test in my hand, the two pink lines that had shifted the trajectory of my future in a way I hadn't anticipated. My sisters' voices echoed in my mind, their words offering support, options, and the hard truths I wasn't ready to face. What was I going to do? What was I ready for? And how could I make a decision when I couldn't even think straight?

I stayed there, feeling the sun soak into my skin, willing the answers to come. The waves continued their steady, rhythmic dance with the shore, and I tried to match my breathing to their ebb and flow, but the uncertainty still gnawed at me. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Beck approaching until he was right beside me. His shadow fell over my face, and I opened my eyes to see him standing there, hands shoved into his pockets, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity.

"Your sisters told me you were down here," he said. "They told me you needed time to think. Everything alright?"

I nodded, sitting up slowly, adjusting the straps of my swimsuit as I did. "Yeah, I've just had a weird morning, I guess. We had this perfect night and now it feels like my bubble's burst, if that makes any sense."

"Yeah, I understand." He hesitated for a moment, then dropped down beside me on the towel. When he offered up his arm, I nestled into him. He smelled like shea lotion. "Is there anything I did that-"

"No, no," I assured him. "Just...the summer's ending, that's all. I don't want it to."

"Me neither," he replied. Then he pulled me into his lap with ease, holding me against his chest and running his hands through his hair. "But let's not end it before it's over, okay? We can be sad and miss each other when we aren't together anymore; I don't want to do it while you're still here, with me, on a beautiful beach, so beautiful I can hardly stand it."

I looked up into his green eyes. They were searching my face intensely. I sucked in one last deep breath and decided that, as usual, Bianca was right. And now Beck was, too. There was no point in uprooting every good thing this summer had brought me for the sake of what, right now, amounted to one big question mark.

I replied, managing to bring out a smile, "So beautiful you can hardly stand it, huh?"

Beck flipped me onto my back, pinning my arms down above my head, and said, "It's honestly excruciating, Mariana." He dipped his head down and kissed me. "You're brighter than the sun." He kissed me again, this time on the cheek. "You're hotter than the sand." He planted the next kiss on my forehead. "And you're...you're..."

I teased, "Wetter than the ocean?"

"I've been known to have that effect on you." Beck kissed me again, this time lingering, wanting. I let myself enjoy it. When I moaned against his lips, he shook his head. "And, Christ, do you have quite an effect on me."

"Good. Now let's go in the water," I said with a big smile. "I bet it's perfect out there with how sunny it's been the last few weeks."

"I didn't bring a swimsuit," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "You wear boxer briefs, Beck. Don't kill the vibe by refusing to show me your abs whenever I want."

He laughed and stood up. As I watched from my reclined position, he tugged off his shirt and stepped out of his shorts. He half-jokingly flexed his biceps for me, asking, "Happy now?"

"Very happy."

And I meant it.

I decided, right at that moment, that this was my secret to hold -- so that the both of us could have one more perfect week of sunsets and midnights and sunrises with each other. So Beck could go back to Boston and finish his degree. So that I could be free to figure this out on my own, untethered.

Beck reached out his hand to help me up and I took it. When I was standing, he admired the fullness of my curves in the skimpy bikini. He spun me around like we were waltzing and gave me a low whistle. "You're a woman who knows how to dress."

Hand in hand, I started to pull him toward the shoreline, where the water called out for us to play. "I don't think this counts as 'dressed.'"

He replied with a cheeky grin, "More dressed than I'd like."

When I made it to the wet sand, I let him catch up to me. "Enjoying the view?"

He reached me and slapped my ass playfully. "You have no idea."

We walked into the water together, holding hands, until we reached the point where we could start swimming. With his long and lean arms, he quickly overtook me.

We waded into the water, our fingers intertwined as the cool waves lapped at our legs. The sun sparkled on the ocean's surface. As the water rose higher, we playfully tugged each other forward, daring one another to dive in first. When we reached the point where I could no longer quite touch the sandy bottom, Beck flashed me a mischievous grin before taking off with a powerful stroke. His long, lean arms cut through the water effortlessly, leaving me behind in a spray of droplets, though I didn't mind one bit. His laughter echoed across the waves as I tried to catch up, but it was clear he was far too fast for me. I didn't mind that, either--his confidence and ease were as intoxicating as the summer sun.

"Beck," I called as he swam out in front of me, "I can't touch anymore; turn around!"

He laughed again as I swam closer to him, ready to drag him back toward where I could easily stand. Instead, he took my hand and pulled me even closer to him. "Well I can hold you up, shorty."

I rolled my eyes but wrapped my legs around his hips regardless, without hesitation.

His hands settled, one on my ass, one on my back, supporting me in the deeper water so I didn't have to tread it. His arms were strong and sure; I knew he wasn't going to play any games and drop me. The ocean rocked us gently.

"Beck," I murmured, leaning in closer, easily softening in his arms.

"You know," he said as his hands traced slow, lazy circles on my back, "I could hold you like this all day."

I laughed as my stomach fluttered. I tightened my grip around him, aware of how close our bodies were. His cock was half-hard in his underwear, situated right against my barely-covered vulva. I shivered and joked, "You just like showing off your pecs."

"Maybe," he admitted with a sly smile. "Or maybe I just like having you this close to me as often as I can get it, especially when you're so close to naked."

"Yeah?" I checked around us, making sure we were far enough out that nobody could watch us too closely. I reached back behind my neck and slowly pulled on the string that kept my breasts contained. "Oh no, I think the current is pulling at my top."

"Oh no," he echoed as I felt his cock hardening below the water. His breath caught in his throat at my sudden boldness and, all of a sudden, he couldn't come up with anything to say.

Next, my fingers went to the string on my back and tugged the bow apart. The bikini top floated into the water. I snagged it, tying a loose string to my bottoms so it wouldn't go anywhere, and said, "I like being this close to you, too. Mind covering these for me? Wouldn't want anyone getting flashed."

I looped my arms behind Beck's head as his hands went hungrily to my tits. He kissed me hard while his thumbs flicked over my perky nipples. He laughed to himself. "Where have you been all my life?"

Emboldened by him, I asked, "Not a lot of girls who take their boobs out on the beach back in Boston? There's tons here."

"If you went in the water in Boston, you'd get hypothermia and giardia." He kissed me again, still massaging my tits, and asked, "Are you busy tonight?"

"You had me all night last night. Greedy, greedy."

"Yes, absolutely," he replied in an instant. "So what do you say? Sneak out with me?"

"You know I don't have to sneak out," I said. "I'm eighteen and my mom doesn't exactly care as long as I don't, like, drive drunk."

His lips went to my earlobe, which he nibbled on softly. Then, he joked, "But doesn't that make it more fun?"

I gave him a pointed look. "And where would we be sneaking off to?"

"Anywhere. Everywhere." He grabbed my bikini top and began to tie it back on around my waist. "I don't care. Just come with me."

*****

The weeks passed by and I tried to suck the marrow from every moment left between me and Beck. My sisters even took it easy on me, not mentioning the pregnancy at all, waiting until I had my head around everything, which we all knew wasn't going to happen until Beck was gone.

So, that first night, I snuck out with him like he'd asked. I waited for the family to settle down and met Beck in the front of his truck. He'd found someplace further up the shore where a park held a double-feature movie night. We were out around the right time to catch the second one. Beck had brought us an oversized old blanket, a few bottles of lemonade, and a second blanket to snuggle under.

Beck made sure I was settled before sitting down and then put an arm around me. I nestled into his side, already relaxing to the steady rise and fall of his chest. He kissed the top of my head and asked, "Comfortable?"

I murmured, "Completely."

The movie started, but I barely paid attention to it. Beck whispered snarky comments about the characters and kept forcing me to stifle my laughter against his shoulder so we didn't bother anyone around us. I hissed in his ear, "Hush, people are going to hear you."

"Let them," he whispered back, breath warm against my ear. "I'm just making sure you're enjoying yourself."

"I am," I replied. My fingers traced along the hem of his shirt and slipped underneath so I could touch his skin. "But I'm not so sure it's your stupid-ass jokes."

He gave me a squeeze and another kiss. "You better not blow up my ego anymore."

"Or what?"

He leaned in further so that his words were hot on the skin of my neck. His voice low and hungry, he replied, "Or I'll be forced to make you cum right now under this blanket. You'd be in good company."

I turned to my side and looked around us. This was a rated-R movie, so the crowd was full of mostly college kids or recent grads like me. And about half of them were deep into feeling each other up or making out while the other half were getting drunk or high together. So I made sure the blanket was bunched over my lap enough to conceal anything going on, draped one leg over Beck's thigh, and whispered "I dare you."

He let out a small guttural sound and positioned himself differently, pinning my leg down underneath his instead and slipping his right hand across his body underneath the blanket. In this position, it looked like we were making out, too, like everyone else around us. Beck kissed my neck and murmured, "Your wish is my command."

I giggled lightly and leaned back on my elbows as he continued nibbling on the side of my neck while his hand roved around my legs. He artfully undid the buttons of my shorts and shimmied them down around my thighs to expose my underwear. I'd learned over the past few weeks that I should always wear something sexy -- just in case. His fingers skimmed over the top of my lacy thong and a little smile played at his lips.

As his two middle fingers slipped below my underwear, I let out a whimper I couldn't hold back. The small sound spurred him on to slide those strong fingers of his downward to my clit. I leaned my head back and focused on the way it felt having him touch me. Beck rubbed slow circles around my clit and I noticed how my toes curled, how the butterflies flapped in my stomach, how blush rose in my chest. My pussy became wetter and slicker with need as I ground against his fingers.

Beck pinned my leg harder beneath his, refusing to let me take any form of control even as I strained to increase his pace on my clit. He kept going at the same medium pace that worked to warm up my entire body and prickle goosebumps on the back of my neck. I breathed in his fresh scent while he circled my clit over and over and over again, gradually building up the pressure that filled my cunt and threatened to burst. The satisfied little smirk never left his lips.

The orgasm started when Beck leaned against my ear and said, "You have no idea how sexy you are when you're on the edge like this."

He kept mumbling in my ear, low and confident, about the expression on my face, the way he could feel my body moving, how wet I was. Those words sent me over the cliffside and into the glowing lake below. My pussy clenched up and a second rush of my juices coated Beck's fingers; he moaned quietly in response. As the movie reached its climax alongside me, the on-screen couple shared a passionate kiss under the stars.

I felt Beck shift beside me, and when I looked up, his expression had softened, his teasing gone. Without a word, he leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that made my heart race.

When he pulled back, I could see the emotion in his eyes, barely held back. "Mari..."

"I know," I whispered, my hand resting against his cheek. "Don't say anything. Just stay here with me."

I kissed him again, looped my fingers in his blond curls, and straddled him underneath the blanket so I could hold him closer. With my ass on his lap, I could feel the outline of his hard cock rubbing against my thigh. When I rolled my hips a little to rub on him, Beck drew in a sharp breath. He wanted me. Dragging my lips from the base of his jaw and down his neck to the top of his tee, I slipped my hand downward and into his pocket. Tucked inside, I found a condom in a silver wrapper. I laughed and began to tear it open. "Exactly as I suspected."

Beck chuckled as I went for his belt buckle. "What can I say? I'm a creature of habit."

"Not a bad habit," I teased as I fished out his cock and rolled the condom on, all while being incredibly careful to conceal my movements as much as possible.

Slowly and deliberately, I tugged my shorts off and nestled into Beck's arms as if I was sleeping in them. My still-wet pussy ran along his now-exposed cock, eliciting something between a laugh and a grown.

Beck's mouth fell just slightly open and he asked, "Are you seriously going to ride me in the middle of a park where anybody could see?"

I gave him a look. "What? It's not like there's anybody here besides high college kids and drunk vacationers."

He shook his head in delighted disbelief. "You never cease to amaze me, Mariana."

"I try," I murmured into the crook of his shoulder. For a minute, I just slid my wetness along his length, enjoying the way his girth felt on my swollen clit.

Beck's voice was shaky with desire as he said, "Christ, you're a tease."

I giggled into his neck, ever so slowly rolling my hips to take the head of his cock inside of me, which elicited a quiet gasp from him. "I don't think you can say that about a girl who gave it up to you."