Leigh and Mark were sitting down in a corner booth, a bit away from any other lunch crowd guests. This wasn't a real date, the standing weekly lunch grab was a way to stay good friends despite some awkward friend group situations. Leigh had been arguing with herself for a couple of days about her shift in conversation topic, but finally decided to just see where things went.
L: Hey, can I ask you something, but promise that you will either answer or pretend like I never asked?
M: Sounds ominous. No, I'm not a member of the Illuminati, but yes, I do like both Star Trek and Star Wars.
L: Ha, no. Promise?
M: Fine, I promise.
L: I'm assuming you do, so I'll go with how often do you, you know, relieve yourself in private?
M: Well this took a somewhat unexpected turn. I'm assuming you're talking about, [checks to see if the waiter is bringing anything over] masturbating? And not just how frequently I have to pee when I'm at home?
Leigh's eyes widened at his clarifying question, for some reason hearing him be so blunt about it out loud made her very interested, she could feel her face flush a little. Now that she's asked, she's forgotten where she expected this conversation would go. She's never talked to a guy friend, or heck even a boyfriend really about sexual gratification but she trusts Mark to either take it in stride or figure out a way around it without hurting their friendship. Leigh's mind races, and it takes a few seconds for her to realize she forgot Mark asked a question.
M: Was I correct? Because the answer to the second is that it's about as frequent as when I'm out and highly dependent on how much tea and Cheerwine I've drunk recently.
L: Yeah, that's what I meant.
Now it was Mark's turn to consider. He had multiple girls with whom he'd discussed sex with before, but it was typically more clinical and certainly never about schedules. He was trying to remember ever telling a friend that he'd jacked off at any particular time. No, that seemed pretty unlikely to have happened.
M: Well that's a little bit personal, I don't think I've ever really talked to someone about that, certainly not someone of the female persuasion.
L: You can forget about it then, just act like I didn't say anything.
M: I didn't say I wouldn't answer, I was just thinking out loud. I'd say it depends...
The waiter walked up with refills for the teas that they were drinking, along with the food that they'd ordered. Neither of them were very adventurous from a food perspective, Mark at least suspected that's part of what made them good friends. He'd also say that, given the stereotypes, for college kids they were each not very adventurous on really any front. Although, then again, Leigh was the first to ever ask him how often he fantasized and got himself off.
M: ... I'd say it depends on when we're talking about. I go through times where I'd say it's not very often for a guy, like maybe once to twice a week, to maybe more than is average for a guy, where it could be more than once per day. Not that I've ever actually gone around and polled the dudes that I know how often they do it.
Leigh started to consider this, wondering possibly if she'd gotten herself in over her head by starting this conversation. And then, she heard -
M: So, do you ever masturbate? It seems like a fair exchange of information.
Leigh's eyes went wider than the first time he'd said 'masturbate', probably because it included a question that felt somehow more personal to her than her question to him did. Maybe that was just stereotypes getting to her. She probably should've anticipated that this question would reflect back to her. Again, her internal dialogue set up some silence that Mark felt the need to fill.
M: Based on everything you hear, read, whatever it's supposed to be harder for y'all I guess, but more enjoyable if done right. Still, I answered you. So. Do you?
Mark was uncertain where this kind of talk would go. He really did just think of Leigh as a friend (a cute friend to be sure). Why had Leigh brought this subject up? It was very unlike her. He hoped at this point that she would answer, but also knew that it was possible this would be a one-sided conversation.
Leigh considered her options as she ate some food to buy herself some time. She could avoid, which Mark may expect at this point. She could be honest and just say that she's done it a couple times but only with inspiration, or she could lie in either direction to sound more experienced or supremely innocent. Mark answered completely and seemingly truthfully, so she decided to test where the conversation would go and answer honestly.
L: I've done it a few times, mostly when I've read a book that got me wanting to do it.
M: Really? I'm not sure why but I think that may have been the most surprising answer between "none", "frequently", and "sparingly". Now I'm very curious what you were reading.
L: Nothing trashy, just sometimes books have very good scenes about the main characters kissing and stuff. And that makes me think about it happening to me.
M: I guess that's fair. I wasn't judging at all. As a guy I'm genuinely quite curious as to what makes y'all tick on that level. That also sounds like some good reading.
L: Are you looking for book recommendations?
M: That would certainly broaden my horizons out of fantasy and sci-fi.
L: Maybe I'll let you know the next time I get that kind of book.
M: Well that would clue me in on what activity you'd recently been doing.
L: You would've been doing the same sometime around then anyhow. Maybe I'll make you tell me when your last time was in order to get the recommendation, so we're on even footing.
A few more bites get eaten from each plate as a tense lull occurs in the conversation. Mark decides that if Leigh started this, she can push it as far as she'd like it to go. Leigh is considering whether she wants to learn more, and decides to ask a follow up.
L: So if you don't read to help yourself, you know, what do you do?
M: I often just use my imagination and think of a situation involving sexy stuff with a girl. I have read some material before, and I've also looked up what I'd say is more of "soft porn" kind of stuff. Like it's not scripted stuff or even just two people going at it and having sex, but more of pictures of things that I'm wanting in the moment and occasionally short videos. Tumblr was quite useful for that before they changed their rules.
L: Imagination? Do you daydreaming about people you know?
M: Yes and no at the same time. It's often girls that I've met and known but I try to avoid thinking about girls that I interact with frequently because, well, [Mark leaned in to speak a little more quietly in case the waiter returned] it might be a bit awkward for me if we had these lunches and I had masturbated to the thought of us doing something and you didn't know that was going on and such.
Mark leaned back, wondering what Leigh might do with that tidbit. She seemed keen on knowing more about this, which was still surprising given Mark's assumptions on her relative chastity.
L: I guess that's kind of you. Your consideration almost makes me want to say you can think of me anytime as long as you let me know.
M: I've never had that kind of arrangement before. I guess I'll almost let you know next time, I'll send something innocuous like a period or something.
