Danny's POV:
"Oh, my god, what?!" I squeaked.
"I know," Rachel said, biting her lip and looking down. We were both sitting on my bed and she started playing with the edge of the covers in her hand. She was nervous. "I didn't mean for it to happen, it just... did."
I didn't know what to say. Right after Jake had dropped me off, I went to my room to change into my own clothes when Rachel knocked at my door. She'd come straight here after getting home from school to drop a bombshell on me.
"I mean, are you sure?" I asked.
She gave me a stern face. "Danny, how could I not be sure? I woke up naked next to him!"
She'd just told me she'd had sex with our friend Mike the previous night. They'd both been drunk and she'd woken up in his bed, naked, but she left before he woke up.
It wasn't just bad because they were both in our close group of friends and things were sure to get awkward, but Rachel was a virgin. Or she used to be.
"Oh my god," I whispered, "Rach, I'm so sorry." She teared up, and I hugged her. "But I mean, are you really sure? Do you remember having sex with him?"
"No," she whispered. "But I was in his bed, naked, and I checked -- he was naked too. Besides, you know Mike, he'll flirt with anyone when he's drunk, and I do remember flirting back at him at the party, but it was just fun and harmless, we were just friends having fun, but... I don't know what happened next. You know I never drink, and I was pretty drunk last night."
We were silent for a few seconds, with me just holding her and stroking her hair.
"I do remember kissing him, though," she said.
"Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?" I asked.
"I don't know, it's all fuzzy... but it was all consensual. He didn't rape me if that's what you're asking."
I let out a relieved chuckle. "Sorry, I just... I don't understand why you'd do it, even if you were drunk -- we'd made a pact."
Years ago, when we were in our early teens, Rachel and I had agreed that we wouldn't rush into losing our virginities like most teenagers do -- we agreed to wait for it to be with someone special.
I felt her shrug her shoulders in my arms. "I don't know. I mean, you have Jake, and I am so, so happy for you guys, but I can't help but want to have something like that myself. I guess that's why it happened with Mike. We've been friends since freshman year, and... I don't know, it seems similar to what you guys have. I guess I wanted to catch up to you." We both chuckled. "I just wish I remembered it."
She pulled back and we held hands. "I'm sorry, Rach," I said, sympathetically.
"It's okay," she said, wiping her face and her smudged make-up. "I'll get over it. I'm not the first and I won't be the last girl who regrets how she lost her virginity, right?"
I nodded. "I guess." There was an awkward pause. "Hold on a second," I said, "you guys were together this morning, when Jake and I left -- the whole group was together. How was that not awkward between you two?"
Rachel shrugged. "I left before he woke up this morning. When I got to school, he was talking to Sam about how he had a hangover or whatever. Then I said hi to them and the girls and he acted all normal, like nothing out of the usual happened. I don't think he remembers."
"And that doesn't bother you?" I asked. That probably wasn't a helpful question.
"Danny," she said, "I don't remember it either. I guess it's for the best. This way it won't become a thing, and we can keep being friends. If we talked about it, it would be so awkward and I know I would cry, and him and I would have this big fight, the group would split up -- it would be him and the guys, Jake included, and me and the girls, you included cause you're my best friend, and... it would be terrible. I'm just gonna pretend it didn't happen."
She looked so sad.
"I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm glad you told me about it, though. You don't have to go through this alone."
She was gonna say thank you, but no words came out, and she hugged me again.
After a little while, she pulled back again, and I realized something.
"That's why you didn't want to tell Jake, isn't it?" I asked. "Because Mike is his best friend?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I love Jake, and I know our friendship is strong, I mean, you probably don't know this, but every time he got really frustrated or upset about something that had to do with you, he'd come to me, but still... Mike is his best friend. Jake is a guy's guy, he needs his guy friends, and they play football together and everything. If I asked him to pick a side with me it would make things so hard for him with the team, and in the locker room and everything, you know?"
I nodded. "You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you?"
"I haven't thought about anything else all day." There was another pause. "Anyway," she said, "tell me about last night with Jake. How was it? Was it amazing?"
I smiled, I couldn't help myself. "It was."
"Oh, come on!" she pushed, smiling. "Spill it! I wanna know everything!"
I hesitated. "Rach, you know, I realized after last night that a few things are just too private. That's just between me and Jake. It was perfect, I'll tell you that, but I don't wanna go into details here. It's personal, you know?"
She pursed her lips. "Yeah... I guess you're right. It's just weird, you know? I always imagined us talking about this -- you telling me about your first time, me telling you about mine. It was never like this in my mind, though."