Time slowed and it felt as if this awkward moment would never end. My heart still pounding, I looked towards the ground. My mind was racing for something to say, but I couldn't think of anything. What can you say to such a thing. I was an idiot and let myself get put into an awfully awkward situation.
"Sorry, I -" I broke off still looking at the ground.
"Sorry what?" Will spoke an even tone.
"For being perverted, I should have better control of myself. It's just been a while for me." I spewed out hurriedly. Words falling out my mouth uncontrollably, while continued looking towards the ground.
"It happens to everyone at least once in their life." he said. "I am going to go back in, I'm not on my lunch yet."
I finally willed myself to look up, as he stood and walked away. Not saying anything more. Jeans splattered with paint and dust. They fit him perfectly. I looked at his ass again appreciating how his pants hugged. I looked until he turned back into the doors of the building and disappeared.
As he left my view the total amount of regret and guilt poured in, my depression and social anxiety started kicking into overdrive and sending me into a panic. I needed a smoke and it would be even more awkward if I went into the building just to return back outside. I looked around and found the corner store I always go to to pick things up on the way home. My anxiety plays a role in my everyday life. This store in particular was my safe store, the only one I visited because it was familiar. New places and people can send me into a panic. It's almost as if it's sensory overload and I can't handle it. I locked my eyes on Berts City Pantry and started walking down the bustling street.
I walked into the pantry and as the door closed the noises of the city tapered out. Only to be met with the low hum of the coolers and familiar smell of the Vanilla Incense that the owner burned daily. The owner had been propped against the back side wall reading the Local Paper. Upon my entry he looked up and gave me his familiar smile and asked how I was doing. We exchanged common courtesies and I paid for my pack of Marlboro Red shorts, followed by a quick exchange to bid farewells and I returned to the door. I pushed the door open and was greeted by the sounds of the lively streets once again. Arriving back at the park bench I sat and eagerly pulled out a singular cigarette and lit it. I took a deep drag into my mouth and inhaled slowly. Trying to get the nicotine into my bloodstream as quickly as possible.
I finished my smoke and the stimulant for the nicotine somewhat calmed me. I know that it doesn't help with nerves but it sure as hell felt like it did. I stood and made my way back to the building and threw the butt to my smoke into the trash as I always did. I came back to my floor and quickly made my way past the smell of paint and construction. Upon reaching my cubicle I though to myself; good day my ass. I made an absolute ass out of myself. I let out a low chuckle at the idea, and began working diligently on the project I left up on the computer for the many hours to come.
Looking down at the clock it was almost time for me to get off. It was now 7:12 P.M. I would be getting off at the start of the next hour, my project was finished and ready to be sent to the editors. I saved the Adobe inDesign file to the cloud server for everyone to access. I started going through the new project files under my work folder and clicked on tomorrows date to view the files. McKayla in the cubicle next to me who is a design proof manager piped up over the wall.
"Done for the day Brock?"
"Yeah, I'm going to start on tomorrows work. Gonna try and get ahead on the job for tomorrow for the next half hour." I replied.
"Your work is always on point dude, I just looked at the design and as always it's ready for publishing. Your designs are always on point and well executed." she exclaimed.
"Thank you."
"No, thank you. You make my job easier!" She let out a soft familiar chuckle.
