"Tonight I'm doing an aftershow for your eyes only. Victoria Hotel restaurant, 10PM. I'll be waiting."
I was standing outside the building, hesitant. Cold January air was irritating my throat with every breath I took between the drags of my strawberry e-cig. The thought of running away kept pulsating in my head like an unwanted guest.
He messaged me out of nowhere a few hours before the concert. At first my heart jumped in excitement, eager to repeat the events of our previous night together. Then I started to wonder how he had found me on the Web. I had given him my name only. Was he secretly stalking me? Did he just want to hook up with an old lover? Or did he have some hidden agenda?
All my worries and doubts were thrown out of the window, when I recalled the way he had held me that night. Goosebumps came over my body for the sole thought of his fingers gripping me by the hips, his mouth marking my back with sinful kisses, his pulsating cock moving inside of me, over and over. I couldn't let the chance pass through. My answer was short.
"Red wine, semi-sweet. See you there."
And there I was, gathering all the courage to enter the building and welcome an old acquaintance. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was I needed his body next to mine.
Transparent automatic doors opened before me, and I entered the lobby. I fixed the tie wrapped around my neck, and smoothened the collar of my shirt, before turning my steps towards the restaurant. And there he was, sitting by the window, peeking at me with a smile.
He aged a little, got a few new wrinkles here and there. But it didn't make him any less handsome. His hair was longer than when we had met last time, now forming a little bun at the back of his head.
"May I?" I asked, pointing at the chair in front of him.
"I'm glad you came, Max," he answered shortly.
I laughed and responded "you know exactly what to do to make me come."
"Oh, you'll come more than once tonight, dear. I can assure you."
He kept smiling at me, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement. He poured me the wine. It was indeed red, semi-sweet, just as I had asked. On the table between us there was a round, wooden board of cheese in a fancy composition. It was all looking kind of expensive. Maybe a little too expensive for a pre-hook up drinking.
"Is this a date?" I asked half seriously, grabbing a piece of camembert.
"It can be, if that's what you want."
His answer baffled me, making my eyebrows raise. I covered my embarrassment with a short chuckle.
"What's so funny?"
"Did you miss me?"
I sipped the wine, carefully tracking his reactions.
"I must admit...I thought of you from time to time."
I smiled devilishly, sliding the shoe off of my foot and slowly tickling his leg under the table, starting from the ankle, up to the knee and finishing between his thighs.
"Did you think of me in your most intimate moments, huh?" I kept teasing, while my toes pressed to his groin.
He bravely moved forward to the edge of his seat, to increase the pressure on his private parts. He didn't seem to bother that other people might have noticed.
"Yeah, I imagined the parts of you squeezing me with pleasure. I imagined your eyes begging me for more."
His penis hardened, as I was rubbing it with my toes. His eyes were burning.
"Too bad you left without saying goodbye," I sighed, looking him in the eye, and placed my foot back on the ground, disrupting our little moment.
"Yet you still answered my message today. You might have thought of me too, haven't you?"
Oh I had thought about him. And no matter how hard I tried to forget, how many people I tried to date, how many nights I spent accompanied by other guys, he was still the one I had been thinking of. The mood when we were together was just different. The air was sparkling with anticipation, with sexual energy. No other chemistry could match our intangible connection. And I could finally feel it again after one and a half years since our first meeting...
"You know I have," I responded bitterly. "Speaking of answering messages, how did you find me? I didn't give you my full name."
He straightened up on his chair and looked at me with a serious face.
"I... stalked you a little. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't."
"How?" I kept asking with a stern voice.
He sighed heavily before finally answering "just don't laugh at me... since you were present at the fan meeting that day, I figured you must have been a part of their Facebook group. I made a fake account and joined, just to read through the members list and find you."
Something within me broke when he confessed it with a guilty face, and sad puppy eyes. The sound of my laugh echoed in the restaurant, making a few heads turn around at our table.
"So you joined your own fanclub?" I stuttered out, as soon as my laugh eased. "This is so fucked up. Did you read the posts though? Some girls from the group are simping to you so hard."
"Don't make me more embarrassed than I already am," he asked with his tone of voice low, and his face red. "I left as soon as I spotted you among the others."
"Oh boy..." I sighed, before finishing the first glass of wine.
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
His voice became shy all of a sudden, as if he was scared of the answer. I wasn't mad. In fact, I was happy he had reached out to me at all.
"Should I be mad? Facebook is a public domain, anyone can check my profile," I replied, chewing a bit of hard cheese.
"Fair enough."
I filled both of our glasses, and raised mine to make a toast.
"To the night, then."
Our glasses met with a vibrant noise, and we drank with our eyes crossed. He was looking at me as if he wanted to devour me right then and there. If there was no one around, I was sure he would just fling himself at me.
"You're not dating anyone right now, are you?" He asked.
"I'm not. And you?"
I couldn't find peace in any of the relationships I had tried to build. In the end I just put everything on solo life and career, soothing desolation with occasional tinder dates.
