Ballet Tights

We exchanged numbers and quickly started texting each other. My heart melted when I saw a text saying "How's Friday for our next date".

Date! The idea of going out on a date with him thrilled me, in a way it never had with a woman.

All the sudden everything started to make sense. The men only sexual fantasies. The girlfriends who left me saying they felt unfulfilled. Looking back I remember several asked if I was gay a few months into the relationship.

I realized that whenever I had sex with women in the past it was mechanical, I thought that's just how sex was but one night with Tim made me realize the reason I didn't enjoy sex with women is because I was gay. I had enjoyed giving a blow job to him, and not even orgasming myself, more than any sex I had ever had with a woman. I realized I wanted his cock in my mouth more than I wanted to have sex with women. And I also realized that wasn't the only place I wanted his cock in me.

A whole tsunami of thoughts hit me. I realize I had been living a lie my whole life. I also felt I could take a feminine, sensuous role that just wasn't possible with a woman. I dawned on me that the only enjoyment I ever got from women was the physical stimulation but also unconsciously fantasizing about their role. I distinctly remembered one of my girlfriends giving me a blow job and I realized I was jealous of her role.

The reality started to hit me, my whole body trembled when I finally admitted to myself I was gay. The reality began to set in. My whole life had been a lie, and I was totally in the closet, out to no one. I didn't want to be gay, but still my stomach filled with butterflies when he suggested a restaurant by him for dinner. I knew what I was going to have for dessert.

We met for dinner in a restaurant in Chelsea. It was a warm night so we dined in the outdoor garden. Up to till now I had only fantasized about men in ballet tights but when I saw him in street clothes I still got giddy and aroused. He was wearing a fitted dark blue button shirt and tailored grey stretchy jean cut pants that showed off his body.

Over dinner we talked about our backgrounds. I again said I wished I had taken ballet earlier but I was scared of what others might think, and how I admired him for doing it. He said it was tough at times but he never had a problem being who he was.

"By the way", he said, "You mentioned it was your first time. Are you out?"

I said no, and we talked about how I was deceiving myself the whole time. He mentioned that he had tried a couple of dates with women and even sex in college but it just wasn't for him. I admired how he was confident in who he was, and I said I was beginning to realize that denying or being afraid of being gay was really a lack of confidence in myself and a reliance on other people's opinions. He asked if I was going to live in the closet and I said I didn't want to.

"Good", he said, "I don't condemn anyone for being in the closet, but I am out to all my friends and I make it a rule to only socialize authentically if we're out on a date we're out on a date". I realized his hand was touching holding mine on the table and for a minute I was scared -the wall of fear went up- I panicked I might see someone I knew or people would be hostile, but then I realized it's a restaurant in Chelsea and there were plenty of gay couples dining, and my fear turned into thrill when I realized I was one of those couples!

When we were done with the main course the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. I said I wasn't ready now, and he suggested we finish up and go to his place. I enthusiastically said yes. While we were waiting for the check, I started to vividly think about what happened at his place last time and my whole body woke up in anticipation. I had to awkwardly get up to hide my erection as we left. We walked up 7th avenue to his place it was a beautiful warm late summer night and the sun was just setting, casting a magical light. There was a fresh breeze and as we walked along our hands would touch and then we held hands as we walked. I was giddy with love, lust, and excitement. I felt so alive! I turned and we kissed in public. I realized now it wasn't just a tights a fetish, I wanted him without them too.

We could barely keep our hands off each other as we rode the elevator with some other tenants. It seemed like it took forever for him to turn the key and open the door, but that was only because I couldn't wait to be inside and in his arms.

As soon as the door shut we embraced and our lips met and tongues danced together. We both fumbled slipping our shoes off so I knelt down, first removing mine, probably because I knew once I touched him I wasn't going to think about anything else.

I took off his shoes, caressing his feet which were clad in luxurious merino wool. I never had a 'thing' for feet but it felt sensual to kiss them and caress them with my cheek.

I kissed his leg above the knee and slowly worked my kissed up his thigh, as my hands stroked the back of his thighs and felt his ass. He was wearing a stretchy soft fabric not unlike tights but cut for pants and a little thicker.

"You make me so horny", I gasped and panted as my hands caressed his ass and I showered his crotch with kisses. I felt his hands stroke my hair, and I already knew this was our signal. I unbuckled his belt, and undid the button. I wanted to dive in but I also was relishing each moment.

I pulled his zipper down and pulled his pants down, revealing his beautifully erect cock, encased in a stretch navy boxer briefs. It was warm and we had been walking, and I basked in the sensuous warmth and aroma as I kissed and caressed his cock with my lips and cheeks.

I paused for a moment, admiring his thick, beautiful cock, and I lightly ran my fingers over the material. It was a soft, stretchy merino wool -as soft as cashmere, different than tights but still seemed to heighten sexual desire.

Every inch of my body screamed. "THIS IS WHO I AM". And with each moment the false mask of pretending to be hetero faded away. It felt so natural, so right.

"I love your cock", I whispered as I grabbed the waistband and pulled it down, and his cock popped out. I started to kiss his head and jack him with one hand. I started to lightly play with his balls with my other hand and I felt him twitch and utter a moan, and I then kissed his cock up and down and started licking his balls. He began to quiver so much we both knew we had to get to bedroom.

He stepped out of his pants pulled up his underwear and he gently took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

We faced each other and I unbuttoned his shirt and took off the undershirt underneath. We both stripped down to just our boxer briefs and we stood gazing at each other, each of us will full erections. We embraced and our lips met again. I wanted to say something but we were beyond words, in a deep passion that I didn't know existed. Finally I smiled and stroked his cock.

"Now, where were we", I said.

I felt his hands pulling at my underwear and he pulled it down and I stood naked before him with a fully erect cock. I embraced him and glided to the bed and I found myself under him as we kissed and I ran my hands up and down his back. He started to grind into me a little and I felt his cock pressing just under my balls. It filled me desire, a hint of a pleasure I didn't even know existed yet, but I was too nervous and not ready for that step yet.

He started to stroke my cock by I guided his hand away and we turn over. Now he was on his back with pillows propped up, but it wasn't in a passive position, it just optimized how I could pleasure him.

I slid his underwear off, and while he was looking, I sniffed and caressed it to my cheek and smiled. I kissed it and carefully laid it aside and took his stiff cock with both hands and again covered his head with my mouth. I worked up and down and remembering what he liked before, I started stroking his balls with my fingers and he immediately began to buck.

I couldn't believe how good it felt to have his cock in my mouth and I would occasionally find myself moaning in pleasure as I sucked, licked and kissed his cock. All those years of being repulsed by oral sex with women, I just thought it was 'normal', but this felt so natural and good, that I again didn't even care if I 'got off'.

I continued to suck then I kissed the inside of one of his thighs and again started to lick his balls. He started to buck harder, and I kept one hand caressing his balls another stroking his cock while my mouth pleasured his head, licking, and varying the how hard I sucked. I deep throated him a couple of more times and then started rapidly stroking his head with my mouth, I could feel him bucking and beginning to tremble as his moans became louder and faster, it felt like some magically force taking over both of us he furiously thrusted his hips in perfect rhythm with my mouth sliding up and down his shaft.

Suddenly his legs twitched and felt his warm cum in my mouth. It cured a thirst in me like nothing else. I feeling of ecstasy came over me as I felt his warm cum sliding down my throat. I dropped by his side and turned over panting in exhaustion and a deep satisfaction I have never felt before. I realized I wanted to taste his cum, way way way more than I wanted to deposit my own in a woman. And that's what sex with women felt like, a mechanical act, where sex with Tim was a sensuous bonding. I also felt a kind of peace, all of these years I was fighting the idea of being gay, and now I realized how beautiful it was that I could be so intimate with someone. For the first time in my life, I felt happy that I was gay.