Hello my beautiful readers!
I am so excited for this chapter and I hope you all love it! I've been wanting to get to this point for a while and it's finally time! Things are about to get spicy from here on out! Also, I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone that commented on my last chapter! I've never gotten so many comments before and the support was so nice! It was wonderful reading each and every one of them <3
Much love, xx
Riley's Pov:
Thomas and I spent every moment we could together, blowing off most everything else until the spring semester began. During this time we'd gotten even closer and my self esteem and self confidence had grown substantially, awakening other desires within me. While we hadn't had sex yet, we'd engaged in plenty of cuddling sessions that had graduated to frottage but, because we were staying at his parents house, Thomas didn't feel right about doing anything further under their roof and I didn't want him to get a room at a hotel for us when I wasn't ready to actually fuck. Part of me didn't mind this predicament, as I was enjoying the novelty of having a boyfriend for the first time in ages. The other part of me wanted to rip off the bandaid and just fuck already, that way I'd know once and for all that Thomas wouldn't jump ship the second I got naked. I was having nightmares about him running off still and I really couldn't take much more of the unknown.
I didn't say this to him though. The more I got to know Thomas and his family, the more I saw how seriously he took things like romance, tradition, dating and intimacy, even mentioning, one snowy day, how he liked the idea of courtship. Then there were the small ways he actually showed this in the relationship. For example, he would always hold my arm if it was slippery outside. He always opened my car door and any other door for that matter. If we went out, he paid, despite my protests and attempts to pay for myself. When I finished eating, he'd automatically clear my place or bring me something if I needed it. I felt a little embarrassed having him do so many little things for me but it seemed to make him happy so I never complained. His chivalry only served to make me want him more but he was so old school, in such endearing ways, that I knew that saying something like "I want to get our first time over with" would not sit well with him and it might even hurt his feelings. I didn't want that. I'd also gotten a strong impression from both Aaron and Mrs. Smith that Thomas didn't normally introduce his boyfriends to his family unless he thought it might have potential to be something more. I found some security in that but it wasn't enough to shake the nagging doubt that dating another jock would eventually blow up in my face.
However, I knew part of my problem was my own fault. I'd asked to take things slow and Thomas's was the definition of a perfect gentleman. He never pushed me physically or started anything, ever. It was always me who would start the kissing to rubbing against him routine and then he would give in. He was always so sweet about it too, praising my performance and the way I turned him on the entire time, every time. Clearly he was making an effort to make sure I felt attractive and desired and I was beginning to believe that he meant the things he said, which sparked a flame inside of me. I knew I didn't have a ton of experience in the boyfriend department, and that we hadn't been dating long, but Thomas was the sweetest guy I'd ever met and I wanted to know if we actually had a future. To do that, I had to get over my fear and fully invest into this relationship. So, I decided to make an attempt to organically take the next step... with a twist.
*******
The moment Thomas and I arrived back in my dorm room, and I saw that Scott hadn't arrived yet, I locked the door, threw my glasses on my dresser and kissed Thomas as I walked him back to my bed. I used all my strength to roughly push him and was a little disheartened when he basically sat down, for I hadn't gotten him to lay back.. I wasn't strong enough. I ignored my failure and pressed forward, climbing on top of him and leaned in, capturing his lips in a soft kiss that quickly turned hard and desperate. I sighed happily as he finally laid back on the bed and I ground my body against his, moaning loudly when I felt his huge cock harden against mine. It still amazed me that I could make that happen and it only stirred the fire. I'd been holding in so much desire for the handsome man beneath me, that knowing we were finally alone took away some of my inhibitions.
"Do you think we could try going a little further now that we're alone?" I purred, in what I hoped was a seductive tone, and ignored the way my own heart hammered anxiously.
"What do you want?" He panted innocently, unaware of how his words fueled the fire within me as his gorgeous hazel eyes gazed up at me.
"I want to show you my cock, right now. Just me. Not you," I told him boldly, making sure to keep my eyes locked on his.
"What?" He asked, looking concerned. "I thought you wanted to take things slow?"
I ducked my head, some of my bravado waning, "I want to stop being a nervous wreck about you leaving me the moment you get a good look," I admitted shyly.
"Riley.. I told you everything would be fine. Don't you believe me?" He asked as he gently ran his fingers up and down the sides of my body.
"I'm trying to believe you," I promised, "But.. I can't wait to know this until we have sex. I don't want to have all these feelings and then have mediocre or even bad sex ruin everything because well.. you know... like with my last relationship. The heartbreak from that fallout was almost too much too deal with."
Thomas frowned at the mention of my ex and thrust his hips up, as if to remind me that his cock was still very much hard for me and I smiled, patting his cheek in response. He was too cute. "The fact that you touch me and all that helps a lot," I assured. "If it didn't, I wouldn't even be bringing this up but I just.. I need to know if you can stand looking at it and I don't want to wait, just to see your look of disgust during sex. I can't take dealing with the unknown any longer. So, would you mind doing things my way? Just for this afternoon," I asked him, pressing a finger to his lips to silence more protests. Something in Thomas's eyes changed after I did that and I smiled when he nodded, hoping that was a good sign. "Let me get something to help," I told him, reluctantly breaking free of his warm, strong arms.
I got off the bed and walked back to my dresser, opening the top drawer to take out a black tin cashbox. I quickly grabbed the key to unlock it and pulled out the pair of silver handcuffs that I'd never gotten the courage to use with my ex. Fresh butterflies filled my stomach as the weight of the cuffs settled against my palm.
Was I really going to do this? I'd never handcuffed anyone before. It was so bold.. especially for me. My ex, Andy, definitely never considered there could be a different side to me. Which, in hindsight, was fine. I was too young and too ready to do anything Andy wanted. I knew he didn't want me in control of anything, so I never tried to be. That, however, was probably a good thing. If I had tried with Andy, I probably would have been laughed at even more, resulting in my never trying again. It was better this way.. but still.. I felt like a fraud.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. Fuck I was nervous!! I knew what I looked like. I knew guys saw me as a soft, submissive, emotional, cowardly, little twink who was used to being pushed around. No guy that knew me would ever suspect what I really wanted; how I needed to feel in control, the way I never felt in real life. Even Thomas saw me as someone that needed saving.. not that he was entirely wrong. Therefore, I knew this little stunt had the potential to be rather humiliating for me but this was Thomas and he wasn't cruel like Andy. Even if he didn't see me as dominant, he'd been so consistent in his pursuit of me, that it gave me the confidence to at least try.
I turned back to Thomas and flashed the cuffs with a lopsided grin on my face, "So.. I was thinking, it might help if I knew you couldn't run out the second I drop my pants."
Thomas sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, studying the cuffs as I walked closer with an apprehensive look on his face.