Victor's POV
The night was still. Too still. Something felt off. Of course, it could have just been my paranoia. Lately I'd been edge, sensing danger where there was none. But could anyone really blame me for being a little overly cautious? It was my job to identify and eliminate threats and up until now, I was good at it. I was the third oldest, third in command. Liam was the Rionach, the Pride Chief, King. Jonah was Laith, second in command, Prince of the pride. I was Lolair, guardian, protector. Not a King or Prince, but my job was just as important. The Brannach, the Pride warriors, answered to Marcus, their general, and Marcus answered to me. One could imagine how stressful my position was. I was responsible for the safety and security of the entire Pride.
So, yeah, I was a little pissed when I found out that Liam had negotiated sanctuary for a vampire of all things, and without even consulting his council. Jonah should have been the first to know, I should have been second. Our father should have been informed next and then I, of course, would have told Marcus. Carter likes to think he's superior to the rest of us, that he's Liam's right hand man and should have been the first to be told but that's not how the Pride Hierarchy works. If it had been something like negotiating a treaty, sure, Carter's your guy but when it comes to matters of security, I was top dog--or cat. I should have been told, before things escalated, not after the fact.
Now, we had a real problem to deal with. One that could have been avoid if Liam had just come to Jonah and I first.
Now, I was on high alert. Sensing danger everywhere, anticipating an attack at any moment. Every snap of a twig, every rustle of a bush had me anxious, poised, and ready for a fight. This whole situation had me way more agitated than it should have and I had no idea why.
I wasn't normally a jumpy person and usually I could trust my senses, they were spot on. But after laying eyes on that vampire for the first time, something had been off. My senses lied to me, confused me, told me things that couldn't possibly be true, and that was dangerous. If I couldn't rely on my senses then I couldn't protect the Pride and that left us all weak and exposed.
My first priority must always be to my Pride. No exceptions. I couldn't allow my messed up feelings to get in the way of my duty. Ash was a threat. Even if Liam couldn't see it. That boy would bring us nothing but trouble and the only way to protect ourselves was to send him away. I knew it, Jonah knew it, and our father knew it. So, why had the look on his face when I said he wasn't worth protecting cut me so deep?
I couldn't stay in that room anymore, not with the way he was looking at me. The hurt on his face, the way his eyes teared up, and how he suddenly looked so small, so alone. It was all more than I could take. I had to get far away from him and fast, or I might have done something I'd regret later, like...scoop him up in my arms and carry him away to a safe place, hidden in the mountains, where no one and nothing could ever hurt him again.
Honestly, I have no clue what had come over me. I'd known the kid all of like five minutes but when I looked into his eyes, it was like I'd known him all my life. I had to get him out of my head and there was only way I could do that, one way to focus my mind on something else, run.
Normally, I'd shift and run in my lion form but because I was still on edge, worried that our land could be over run by vampires at any moment, I needed to be alert and with the awareness of a man, not a beast. Even as a man my senses were more acute than an ordinary human's. I was also faster and stronger than a human. If I needed to fight, I could shift, but for now I wanted to remain in control so my run would have to be a hike.
I decided to do a patrol of our lands, just a quick sweep to clear my head. Once outside I could breathe again. I moved silently, concealed in the darkness with only the glow of the moon to guide me. My boots crunched softly against the gravel path that wound its way through the northern edge of the property. The crisp mountain air bit my skin but I welcomed the cold. It woke me up, made me more focused. At least, it was supposed to.
Tonight though, nothing helped. Not the silence, not the cold, not even the calming call of nature. No matter what I did, where I went, my mind kept circling back to him. Back to Ash.
Damn it all to hell.
I raked a hand through my hair. My jaw clenched. What the hell was wrong with me? I was stronger than this, tougher. I was trained to fight, to suppress emotion. I'd faced down ferals, rogue shifters, and my own personal demons with less tension in my body than I carried now. My gut ached, like I'd just swallowed broken glass, and the worst part, I had no idea why.
He was a kid. Just some stupid kid. He shouldn't have mattered to me, but he did. That's what scared me the most. Not that he was a vampire, the unknown. It was what I felt when I thought of him. Something stirred inside me that I couldn't explain. A pull that I had no control over.
It was unnatural, this pull, and I tried to fight against it with everything I had.
I stopped beneath a small grove of trees, resting my hand against the cool bark of an old pine. My heart thudding against my ribs, slow and heavy. I could still see his eyes, etched in my mind, those haunted, liquid eyes, like pools of jade. I could hear his voice, soft and broken, whispering "I'm sorry."
I had been standing on the porch, just outside the door, listening. I could hear the pain in his voice. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm so sorry." My heart ached, and I hated myself for causing him anymore pain. I left, headed for the trees. I didn't want to hear more. I didn't want to hear his sobs, knowing I was the one who had made him cry.
I hadn't meant to be so cruel. Not like that. I didn't want to hurt him but I was angry and so spoke without thinking.
"He's not worth it."
My words echoed back to me, over and over again, searing themselves into my memory. The moment I'd spoken them, I regretted it, but it was too late to take them back. In that moment though, something changed inside me. I felt a sharp pain that pierced through my chest and straight into my heat, as though it had just cracked down the middle and for a moment, I couldn't breathe. I really thought that I was dying.
I sighed, continuing to walk deeper into the trees. I tried to think of something else, anything else. The radiant moon above, the smell of pine and wet earth. Anything. Anything but him. I didn't want to think about him, didn't want picture his face, the way he seemed to crumble under the weight of my words or how his entire body had gone still like he'd just been struck in the face. I didn't want to see that sad, hopeless, broken look in his eyes like I'd just ripped out his heart and crushed it in my hand.
He was all I could think of though, my mind refusing to let go and it frustrated me to no end. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. I wasn't supposed to care.
I didn't want to feel anything. Not guilt, not regret. And certainly not whatever the hell this pull was.
I was all about control, logic, and reason. Emotions made you weak. Emotions made you sloppy. Emotions got people killed. I paused, looking up at the night sky. I had to stop feeling this way. I couldn't afford to let my guard down. Nor for one second. Not after...
"Stop it." I told myself, my hands clenched at my sides, anger suddenly taking hold of me, trying to push its way to the surface. "I can't." I whispered into the darkness. "I can't let myself...feel."
It hurt to feel. It hurt to remember. I'd spent so many years building a wall around my heart, brick by brick only to have it all threatening to come crashing down because of one small vampire with sad eyes and an angels face.
I wanted to ignore the way he made me feel like time had froze and nothing else on earth mattered but him. I couldn't ignore it though. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't get him off my mind.
I slowed my pace as I reached the tree line and scanned the forest ahead. Once again came that unsettling feeling that something wasn't quite right. I lifted my head, scenting the wind and that's when I noticed it, the faintest scent of something warm and wild, heady, fresh and pure. It was soft and subtle at first, like the brush of a steady breeze against my skin. It wove through the night air like a secret, hidden in the shadows, then came alive in my mind. I went still, the aroma mesmerizing me.
Jasmine.
Not an artificial scent found in perfumes or incense. No, this was raw jasmine, the kind that bloomed along paths, untamed, bold, fragrant, and so enticing.
And beneath it, something else...summer rain.
That intoxicating scent the earth releases just before a storm, when the sky is heavy and the world holds its breath.
The aroma wrapped itself around me, soft and intimate. It caressed me like an old memory rushing to the surface and brought with it a sense of longing, of unbridled need.
