Behind the Scenes

AU:

Hey everyone! This chapter took a lot longer to get done because of all types of personal stuff that I won't bother you all with ;)

The plot thickens... hope you like it!

Leo's POV:

'Mmphm... turn off those damn lights!' I rumbled.

My voice was raw and husky from last night, and some sort of light shone right at my face which had lead me to wake up. I cringed and rubbed my eyes with one hand whilst using my other arm to support me on my side. When I properly opened my eyes I saw that it was the sunrise shining brightly on my face through a small crevice in the curtains.

Wait, my bedroom doesn't have curtains. Where was I?

Oh, right. Billy.

It hadn't occurred to me that I had never been in this room before. Billy had only moved out of his parents' two months ago. It always feels a little unsettling waking up in a place you don't recognise.

First thing's first. Let's close those damn curtains. The window was close enough to the bed so that I only had to scooch over. As I started to make my way to the side of the bed, my legs got wrapped up in the sheets. I reached my hand as far as possible. Just a little bit further... And then I heard a sound behind me, as the sheets were pulled out from under my legs. 'Mmmphhf... gimme the...mhmmsheets.'

'Whoa!'

BANG!

'Ow!' Damn that hurt. 'What the fuck?'

I had fallen from the bed, and I'd realised three things: One: Someone was in the bed with me. Two: That someone was a he. Three: I was only wearing my briefs.

'Oh no...' I looked over at the heap of sheets, hiding a figure with smooth tan skin and blonde hair. And an impressive chest. Muscular and fit. Tan. Who knew Billy looked so good?...

Billy?

'...Oh shit...' I whisper-yelled.

'OH FUCK!' I actually yelled.

Which caused Billy to jump up and fall to the ground like an idiot just like I had 5 seconds ago. He was also in just his briefs. White, sexy briefs.

'Dude... Leo, what the heck is wrong with you man?' Billy exclaimed as he rubbed an oncoming bruise at the back of his head. It made his bicep flex ever so seductively. And his shoulder. But I'm not paying attention to that.

'What do you mean Billy? What is wrong with

me

? THIS is wrong! Look at this! We slept together!' I almost screamed. Didn't he understand?

I mean, yeah Billy is hot and I admired his looks. But as a teasing friend kind of thing. I liked him, my crush on him is still there a bit. And I just now realised he went from cute nerd to twunk in like 8 months. But I'd never sleep with him... Right?

He is my best friend and that is more important. That, and I wouldn't even go that far anyway, not even if we weren't friends. Because maybe I had an actual chance with someone who was simply perfect. Someone who I'm already madly in love with eventhough we have never actually met.

Connor was always on my mind. I accepted that last night. And It made me feel a little bad, I have not been a good friend the past few years, and before I tell Connor what to do with his, I should set things right with my own friends.

When I was dancing with Carmen I had imagined my arms around Connor's waist instead of hers. And boy, do I love her. Carmen is the special friend that shares one of my greatest passions with me, which is music.

I love my friends, but last night, Carmen just needed a little extra love. It's been three months since her sister passed and she's doing better. Just not great, yet.

'So what? We slept together, big deal!' Billy yelled, frustrated.

Oh right.

'WHAT? BIG DEAL? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' I was losing control. So many feelings and thoughts running through me. More than I could make sense of.

Did this mean something to Billy? Were we drunk? I feel like I cheated on Connor, who is probably straight and in no way my boyfriend. Why did no one stop this? And why is Billy not freaking out right now?

'Dude Leo, relax okay?' He said calmly, making his way over to reassure me.

'Relax! Relax? Are you insane!? We had SEX last night!' I screamed as I clumsily distanced myself from my best friend.

Billy wiped the consumption I had spoken with out of his face, looked at me deeply and said, "Nothing happened Leo... We didn't have sex. We just slept in the same bed together.'

Oh.

'Oh... I'm sorry for freaking out.' I said awkwardly.

'Relax L, that would have been the worst idea in the world.' He said with a chuckle. It would have. Besides, Bill is not even gay... right?

'And on top of that,' he continued. 'You have that crush, or undying love thing for that guy anyway, right? The guy you're going to work with?' Billy mumbled. If I didn't know any better I would swear he sounded a little annoyed.

But what the hell? Normal straight guys would have freaked out by now right? Or at least point out the fact that they're not gay multiple times.

'Well?' Billy shot.

'Uhm.. well yeah. Wait, how do you know about that?' I asked, one eyebrow raised. My eyes darted towards Billy's perky butt before he turned towards me. A smirk swept over Billy's handsome features as his deep blue eyes pierced into mine. I was afraid he'd noticed my small eye-detour, but his next remark tossed that thought away.

'Because that's the only thing you talked to me about last night, as soon as Esther got you drunk.' He chuckled. 'You were talking about how hot his smile was, and his abs, big arms blah blah blah, you wouldn't shut up about him.' Billy said with a knowing smile. 'I've never seen you like that.'

I knew that I had to focus on what Billy was saying about me and my feelings for Connor, but I was still a little shocked at our current situation. And if I, a gay guy, was a little shaken after waking up next to his straight best friend wearing nothing but a pair of briefs, then said straighy best friend should have been properly freaking out.

Billy had found his pants on the floor now and he stared at me as he buckled his belt.

'Why would having sex with me be the worst idea ever?'

That caught him off-guard. 'What?' He said, struggling to put on his white Puma socks.

'Well, you said it would be the worst idea in the world if we had sex together, why?' I challenged, crossing my arms and flexing my pecs and arms. Bill's eyes flickered towards my chest for a fraction of a second, exactly according to plan. I had a hard time keeping my mouth in a thin line as my eyes questioned my bud. The corners of my lips twitched upward.

It seemed I had missed out on way more developements in my friends' lives than I had realised. Billy instantly flushed bright red when he saw my smirking face. Now that I think about it, I always did have a hunch. Billy was really touchy feely, even for a best friend.

'Well uhm... Y'know it uh... I'm not... m'kay?' He stuttered, looking at anything but me. Billy had never been more flustered.

'You're not what, Bill?' I prodded.

'I-I'm not..'

'What Billy?'

'OKAY!... alright...' He scratched the back of his head, finally looking me in the eye.

'I might have had... a little crush on you in high school, okay? Happy now?'

'I knew it! You have a crush on me.' I grinned at him.

'No, I don't. Not anymore.' He said awkwardly.

'Yes you do. You're gay! Oh I can't wait until everyone else finds out.' I smirked. 'I wonder if they'll be surprised.'

W I said that Billy shot towards me and tackled me to the bed instantly. He held me down with his body whilst still wearing only his jeans and one sock.

'Nobody! Tell no one! You can't Leo, I'm really not ready for anyone to know yet, please!' He pleaded.

Despite Billy's alarmed expression I was still painfully aware of the fact that I was only wearing my briefs and his bare chest was rubbing against mine. As his warm smooth skin slid over my torso I tried to focus on what he was actually saying.

'Why not? Why not just come out? It's easier than you think, you know. And I'll be there for you, you know that. You were there for me.' I said reassuringly.

He looked discomforted as he stroked a hand through his blonde locks. Wow, if I had known he had a crush on me earlier... That would have made things a lot easier, most likely.

'There was a reason I was there for you, you idiot.'

Oh.

'Were you-' I began, but he interrupted me.

'Of course I was! Couldn't you tell? I wanted you to feel comfortable with yourself before you could feel comfortable with me!' He shouted. I didn't move away. I wrapped my arms around him.

'But why didn't you tell me back then? If you'd just told me, then maybe...'

'Then maybe what? Maybe we would be happily together now? Don't Leo, don't say that and make me regret it even more!' Billy looked really desperate and frustrated. 'I can't handle that.'

I hated seeing him so lost. But I

had

to think about what could have been.

'But... maybe we

would

be.' I said softly.

And then there was a moment. Short, but very unpredictable. So deep and so beautiful, as always. But now I saw his eyes in a completely different way. A part of me wanted to, a big part. But an even bigger part kept me from kissing him. I felt him struggle and fight the urge to lean in, but before the temptation was too powerful, he didn't.

'I'm just not ready okay? I have been with guys and girls but I realised a year or so ago that I don't see myself actually falling for a girl. I only ever had real feelings for... well, just you.' He sighed, frustrated as he rolled off of me. I instantly missed his warmth and my breath hitched at the brief moment we just shared.

'I just don't want anyone to look at me differently. I mean, I know nobody's going to judge me or anything... but still.' A tear escaped his eye when he looked at me. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched and looking smaller than he did when he was on top of me.

'I don't think it'll work out for me.' He said sadly.

I reached out and wiped the tear from his cheek, my teasing long gone. I had no idea that he had such trouble accepting himself. How long has this been going on, I'm his best friend. I should have noticed. Hell, I should have been there.

'I'm sorry Billy, I didn't know you were struggling like that.' I said sincerely as I sat up on the side of the bed next to him.

'It's not your fault, L. I should have just told you. It's just, you kinda were the one to make me realise in the first place and I thought it would be weird.' He said, regaining his composure.

'No, really Billy. I shouldn't have teased you with it. Especially because I had a hunch all along. I should have talked to you about it.' I said carefully.

'You knew? How?' Billy said in a disbelieving tone.

'Well, you do sort of like to hug me and stuff, all the time. And the dancing yesterday. I don't think I'm the only one who noticed, to be honest with you. I think Gerard, Danny and the girls know already.'

'Shit. That's embarrassing.'

'Yes it is buddy.' I said jokingly, 'But nobody cares you see? We all love you, you know that right?'

'Yeah, I know... Thanks Leo. Eventhough this conversation is really awkward and everything, I'm happy you know about me now.' He smiled again. That happy, radiant smile. I couldn't help but notice that little speck of sadness though.

'Me too, now I know for sure that even my best friend has a thing for me, I'm definetely irresistible.' I said with a wink.

He punched me in the shoulder, which actually kinda hurt. Damn, where did that skinny, weak, baby Billy go?

'Shut up, you idiot. Don't get too cocky. I used to have a thing for you, not anymore.' He said blushing bright red.

Yeah right, especially his growing bulge made that statement really trustworthy.

What the fuck am I going to do?

--

Connor's POV:

Two weeks later

'Aahw Mom! I told you no!'

'Oh, don't be such a party pooper Conny! It's fun, let me have this as a mother of her apparently gay son.'

'Yeah, but a rainbow cake? Is that really necessary? I mean, dad is going to freak out anyway and I really don't want to make it worse.'

'Don't worry about dad, I told you he'll be fine. And otherwise I'll make him.' My mother argued. And with that look, she couldn't be argued with.

I pleaded with her not to make this little event she and Shelly were setting up too extravagant. A

coming-out-goodbye-party

is what they called it.

And it was a fucking nightmare.

Last week I had invited all of my friends to come over, to re-connect with them properly. Living on a 3.5 acre land-plot with a mansion, swimming pool and a big seperate guesthouse definitely had it's perks. If only I had more than three friends... Well, not counting Leo then.

He's worth a million.

My career just didn't allow me the time and space. But these three are awesome, Ayden, Nathe and Shelly were my best friends in high school. And they still are.

When they came over, we decided to chill out by the pool. Ayden kept teasing and dropping hints about the obvious elephant in the room. Later that night, when we'd had a couple of drinks, I let it slip out. Shelly screamed so loud that my mom came to check on us, that's when she found out as well.

To be honest, it couldn't have gone better, but it wasn't really how I wanted it to happen. I wanted to tell my parents and everyone else, casually. Like it's the most normal thing in the world. Because when I thought about it, I realised it

is

.

I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it, I just wanted nobody to be surprised once I introduce them to Leo... or not.

But like everything else in my life, this too had to go fuck-up. Suddenly, my friends, my mother and even my little brothers Devin and Spencer knew. My dad being the only one left in the dark. And that scared me more than anything.

I had litterally no idea how my dad, or anyone would react. My mom wasn't raised in a religous family, but dad was raised a real Catholic. And although it didn't mean enough to him to have Devin, Spencer or me baptized, I'm sure it still lingered somewhere. And then there was grandma and grandpa. My dad's parents.

My mother's parents both died when I was 12 years old. Grandma died of leukemia, and grandpa died from his heart condition, but mainly of loneliness after grandma died. He told us that he could have gone on if she was still alive, but he decided that it was time. In the end he was euthanized, like my grandmother. She was the life of the house and he was the foundation. They were, like my father's parents, the best.

I didn't want to disappoint the granparents I have left. Because they're definitely Catholics.

My fucking life, what the hell are you doing to me? How did all of this even happen?

I mean, unconsciously, I had known I was gay forever. Even before I first kissed a guy, and along with that I knew that I was going to have to tell everyone eventually. But Leo, it turns out, was the final straw that convinced me to do it, with a little help from Ayden. Even if Leo turns out to be straight I hope we can be friends, no matter what. He gave me the final push to come out, even if he doesn't know it.

I hope I can handle being just friends. But that's something to worry about a little later.

I had other things to deal with.

I didn't want to disappoint my father as a son, his first son. I knew it was ridiculous but I couldn't help but feel insecure about how he would react to the idea of me having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend.

No turning back now though. Three inflatable unicorns were being carried into the backyard by Shelly, Nathe and Ayden who all smirked at me knowingly.

Assholes.

This was going to be the worst party of my entire life.

--

And there it was, the moment of truth.

At 11PM my dad's car pulled up into the drive-way. I could feel my palms starting to sweat and my heart started beating like a humming bird.

Half an hour ago when all the preparations were finished, Shelly and mom had told me it was going to be a

coming-out-goodbye-surprise-party

. Which made it more gay, and more horrible. The worst idea in the world had turned into the worst idea in the universe.

Mom, Devin, Spencer, Nathe, Shelly and Ayden were ushering me behind a couch as they hid behind the kitchen wall, waiting for my dad to come in.

Mom flicked out all the lights in the living room, leaving her in the barely lit kitchen, a coffeecup filled with water in hands. Spencer said it would be a good detail to the ruse, and actual coffee would be too obvious since mom always waits for dad to come home. Which left the rest of us confused as to why she needed a coffeecup at all. But whatever.

Spencer is a little weird at times.

At the sound of multiple car doors slamming shut, Shelly gave me a horrified look. But I waved it off, knowing my father's habit of throwing his coat and suitcase in the backseat of the car after a long day.

My own face washed over with terror though when I heard the sound of my father's voice speaking with two other people. I looked at my mom, who looked a little distressed as well. I felt something, I'm not really sure what it was. But it is best described as your heart and lungs filling with ice cold water. That's what I felt when I realised the two voices were my grandparents.

A second later the door to the kitchen opened. Grandpa complaining about the front door still needing a new paint job, grandma shushing him, and my dad's tacky

"Honey! I'm hoooome!"

comment.

In a split second, I saw Shelly looking at me, her eyes determined. I saw her make the decision in her head as she jumped up and flicked on the lights.

'SURPRISE!' Everybody yelled together. I slowly raised myself up from behind the couch as Diana Ross'

"I'm coming out."

Started to play on the stereo. My friends, brothers and mom laughed nervously, gesturing to me.

My grandparents were looking between my mom the rainbow colored cake and me, whilst my father looked on the brink of a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.

'Uh.. I'm uh... I'm gay.' I said, voice quivering.

My grandpa looked angry. I had expected that. But grandma was smirking brightly. When I turned to dad... he turned around and walked straight out the door. My mother stood up from where she sat, yelling after him. 'Honey! Hon, come back!'

My grandma joined her, 'Mason! Mason, you come back here this instant!'

Nathe, Shelly and Ayden looked at me sympathetically as Devin and Spencer ran to greet my grandparents, unaware of the uncomfortableness surrounding everyone else in the room.

'I'll go after him.' To my surprise, I heard myself say these words slowly. I made my way towards the door after my dad when my grandma stopped me for a second and said, 'Conny... go slow with him.' And let me pass.

What was I even going to say to him at all?

--

Hope you enjoyed it ;)