I was eyeballing that sexy bastard all fucking afternoon before he finally noticed me. I don't normally check out guys like that. Especially guys like him. However, I am not myself these days. A combination of anger, lust and pain has driven me over the edge. Crowley Jean is the name. My friends call me C.J. Who am I? A big and tall Black man of Haitian descent living in the city of Ottawa, Province of Ontario. I attend Carleton University, where I major in business administration. I am forthrightly bisexual. Yeah, Haitian guys can be openly bisexual too. It happens. I am out and proud these days. However, for most of my life I led a straight lifestyle. I had my experiences with men but focused mainly on women. I wanted to lead a normal life. It's what's expected of me as the son of a middle-class household in Ottawa, I guess.
Recently, my girlfriend Elisabeth Deans dumped me. Out of the blue. The tall, beautiful Black woman I loved decided that she couldn't wait for me to become a powerhouse. So she hooked up with a wealthy Jamaican-American businessman and moved to Boston with him. After my fiancΓ©e left me, I basically became the laughingstock of Ottawa's Haitian community. I was devastated, but I found the strength to move on. These days, I decided not to limit myself. I'm sexing anybody who is willing, folks. Which explains why I found myself cruising this sexy young Black guy inside Saint Laurent Mall. I'm not the cruising type but this guy was too sexy to pass up. Besides, I hadn't been with a man in ages. I wanted to make up for lost time.
I knew I had seen him somewhere before. A tall, good-looking young Black man wearing a red silk shirt, silver tie and Black silk pants. He looked damn good. As he walked through the mall, all kinds of folks looked at him. Envious White guys who wished they had a Black man's natural swagger yet lack it regardless of how rich or powerful they think they are. Curious White chicks, the kind who can't wait to jump on a Black man but only when their friends and family members are not around. Black women looked at him a lot, though they hid it. Every Black woman worthy of the name notices a good-looking Black man. They want us. They get mad when they see us with White women. They get even madder when they see us with men. Yet they seldom appreciate us when we're dating them. What gives?