The sun was high in the sky, the air was fresh and worst of the bugs hadn't yet emerged to turn spring in the woods into a Circle of Hell.
As I followed the park trail, my eyes darted from the ground up to the treetops. The foliage had not come in yet and I was hoping to see some birds. I was not even an amateur bird-watcher really, but I could hear bird-song and I was curious what kind of feathered creature it was coming from. I looked through the binoculars I was carrying on a strap around my neck. I was weighed down with a digital camera too. If I found a bird I couldn't recognize, I'd snap a photograph to identify it later.
I'm not sure how long it took to realize that I had wandered off the trail. I was lucky not to have tripped over a random branch. In trying to return to the trail before I got lost... I got lost. Thinking I was retracing my steps, I actually wandered deeper into the woods. I wasn't overly concerned. I had my cellphone with me and it showed that it had service, so if all else failed, I had a lifeline.
When I heard something other than bird-song, I thought I must be approaching the trail again. Surely that must be the sound of a runner or jogger I was hearing nearby. There seemed to be a lot of huffing and puffing going on.
It was closer than I thought and not at all what I expected.
I passed a thick bush and looked to my left into a clearing. There were two men there. I instantly corrected the identification I'd made for the sound I heard. The heavy breathing was from another kind of exertion entirely. Not twenty feet from me, a small blond man was performing oral sex on a much larger, dark-cast man with a thick, black beard and a receding hairline.
I instinctively ducked behind the bush so I would not be seen by these men. I blushed fiercely for some reason at the sight of that little man pleasuring the giant. The heat in my face and ears soon migrated to a region south of my belt buckle. I was uncomfortable with this as a married man deeply in love with, and attracted to, a beautiful wife. I knew I had a bit of an attraction for men, but I actively suppressed it. Listening to the erotic sounds of their pleasure, and seeing the explicit act performed before my eyes, my usual instincts deserted me.
I very quietly unbuckled my belt and opened my fly, fishing out my cock. I could hardly believe I was going to jerk off as a voyeur of gay fellatio. I didn't rationalize anything. I just started rubbing one out.
Presently, some of my wits gathered sufficiently around me to hold up my camera around the side of the bush and record video of the arousing scene. I was so intent on capturing the unfolding sex act that I failed to think of the activation alert on my camera. It whistled a few electronic notes into the air. I yanked the camera back down behind the bush and made the mistake of turning it off: a mistake because the same notes were repeated in a different sequence to signal that the camera was powering down.
The sounds of the little man gagging on the big cock and the giant's joyful grunts instantly subsided. I peered through a hole in the brush--of which there were several I now realized. The big man was looking straight back at me.
"Asshole," he said, apparently addressing the thicket in front of me. "Standing still only works if you're wearing camo. You're wearing a white shirt, Moron."
I didn't answer. Fight or flight had kicked in and I was frozen to the spot. A half-thinking part of myself wondered why I should be embarrassed since I was not the one performing a public sex act. The rest of me remained still, desperately clinging to the wish that I was not seen. Unbidden, a Monty Python sketch entered my mind.
"Look, you KNOW I can see you there. In a second, you might try to run. I promise I can button up and cover the ground between us faster than you can spit. Get your ass over here."
I tensed. He knew. And I was a shit runner.
"Last chance. I can pull up my pants and catch you if I have to, but if I have to, that's when I'm going to be really pissed."
I really had no choice. I was not much bigger than the little man kneeling in front of the giant. He would stomp me to pieces. And nobody would find the body if he buried it out here. My only option was to try and placate this man with deference and apologies.
As I trod out from behind the bush and toward the two men in the clearing, the large man looked away from me and down at the smaller man.
"Who told you to stop? Get back on that cock."
The blond man obeyed the command instantly, apparently with pleasure.
I covered the short distance from my hiding place to the centre of the clearing in seconds. I stood before the big man at a distance of about five feet.
"Alright," the giant said. "I'm Duke. The cocksucker here is... Wait, I forget his name."
"Ken," the little man said between gasps and sucking sounds. It was a nasal voice.
"Yeah, Ken." He looked at me. "What's your name?"
I didn't want to answer and I didn't want to tell the truth but I did anyway.
"I'm David."
"Good. Now we all know who we are. What were you doing behind that bush?"
"I was just walking along, bird-watching, and I lost the trail and then... I was there, and you were just there."
"That story is so stupid I believe it. And I heard a tweet that wasn't any bird. Camera?"
I nodded. It wasn't like it could be hidden. It was hanging around my neck.