Infatuation

As much as I replayed the events in my mind over and over again, I came to the conclusion that I'd done nothing wrong. I didn't misread anything; he made his intentions clear to me.

Yes, I've always admired him; he's always been in my head. Admittedly, at first, it was anger with some confusion. But as the years went by, it gradually changed to admiration. Then, in junior year, when he went out of his way to open up a dialogue between us, I started to like him.

The more I think of it, he'd always been around. I'd see him at my soccer games or casually bump into him in the hallways between classes. Since that day that we ran into each other outside the main doors, we've known of each other.

The fact that we attend the most crowded high school in Texas means that one of us was always looking out for the other, and it wasn't me. So, no way I misread this motherfuckers' intentions with me, and now he's ghosting me!

*~~*

"Hey, can I sit here?" I looked up, and it was Jan.

Jan and I had dated sophomore year, but we quickly figured out that there was no there, there. We liked each other enough and, over the years, found that we had much in common, so we friend-zoned each other.

"Free country," I replied without a care.

"Wow, a little bitchy today. I noticed that your friend didn't come to study class."

Jan was pfishing, and even though I hadn't told her that Tim and I were starting to get close and I damn sure hadn't told her that last Friday I sucked his cock, she'd figured out enough to know that we were more than friends.

"Fuck him, he can eat shit and die."

Jan had just taken a drink of her soda and damn near spit it out.

"Wait, whaaaaaat..." she said in that annoying way that she dragged out the *what* to rub it in on me. I looked up at her and wondered why I even bother having friends.

"Shut up, I don't know, Jan. Sometimes I think that I was put on this earth so that everyone could take a big shit on me."

"Oh, quit being such a drama queen, look in the mirror, and tell me again how tough life is for you. Oh, and nice bike, by the way, must be tough with all the NIL money you get for kicking a little ball into a net."

That's why she was my friend, and I trusted her with all my private secrets. She was brutally honest with me. The shitty part about our friendship is I have to hear her shit too. But she was right. As it goes, my life isn't as bad as I was going on about.

"Missed you on Friday in study hall, and Tim wasn't there either. Hmmm..."

"Shut up," I shot back.

"C'mon, don't be like that. I tell you all of my secrets."

"Yeah, well, there's no secret to tell here," I love Jan, and she does tell me all of her dirty secrets, but somehow, I don't think she's ready for this one.

"Is it true what they say? Is Tim hung like they say?"

I almost fell over, but it was my fault. I have been telling her about how confused I was getting with Tim and eventually that I might be gay. But like I said, I trust Jan. She has too much to lose if she outs me, still, what the fuck!

"Bitch, really?"

"Oh, c'mon, Sammy, you two were together all weekend. You had to be because every time I tried calling you, your phone went straight to voice mail."

She was right about one thing: I did have my phone turned off, thinking that I would punish Tim, but as it turned out, he was the only one who never called me or texted me all weekend.

"I turned it off; I didn't feel like talking to anyone." I guess the tone of my voice changed because Jan got serious all of a sudden.

"Hey, I'm your friend Sammy. What happened?"

I sat there for a second and finally exhaled. I told her we were sitting by the field house entrance and wound up at my place. I was hurting and hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened. I told her everything.

We were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, away from the horde of students. When I finished telling her that I'd spent the weekend emotionally paralyzed, we just sat there in silence.

You could hear the rumble of the students eating and talking with one another. The clanging sound of the dishes coming from the back. The kitchen staff yelled something or another.

We sat there in silence by ourselves.

"Clay told me that Tim was going on some recruiting trips. He said his dad told him that he was young and owed it to himself to have some fun before he reported to the summer semester at university."

That's something I didn't need to hear. While we were working out in the mornings, Tim told me he wasn't going on any more trips.

Said that they were just party trips because the hosting schools knew that they weren't going to change your mind unless they did some outlandish shit like setting them up with hostesses that would do more than host.

We finished our conversation and went about our day. Later on, I ran into Tim in the hallway, and he just glanced at me and kept walking by me. No, hi, bye, fuck you very much, nothing.

When he didn't show up for study hall, class, or whatever you want to call it. I was devastated. Attendance for the class isn't mandatory, but you can't be on campus during that hour if you don't attend.

All I knew was that he was not showing up, which confirmed what I'd already thought. He was ghosting me. I spent all weekend wondering what I'd done wrong, and now that I confirmed that something was wrong, fuck me.

I tried sitting there like nothing was wrong, but I couldn't. I gathered my things and left for the day.

*~~*

I couldn't help but be amazed at the thickness of Tims cock. There was no way I could close my grip on the shaft, and it only grew thicker the closer to his body. It was like a tree trunk at the base.

I used both hands to pump his shaft as I struggled with the head of his cock inside my mouth. I wanted to take it all, but the best I could do was maybe a quarter of it. The texture of his cock was so smooth. I couldn't believe I was sucking his cock again.

Plus, the freedom of being completely naked so he could enjoy seeing my heart-shaped ass. My only wish was that he could see my virgin asshole. I couldn't get enough; I wanted his cum, oh god.

I started sucking frantically; why won't he cum in my mouth? Oh, please cum in my mouth! Cum in my mouth already!!!!

*ALARM* *ALARM* *ALARM*

I opened my eyes, and I immediately reached for my phone. I franticly battled with it until I turned the alarm off. I was sweating and felt uncomfortable. That's when I realized that I was dreaming and my crotch was smothered in cum.

It was a fucking dream, fuck my life.

*~~*

I hated fucking doctors. Since puberty, I'd been to one specialist or another. Their hands were tied because we were poor and lived in the great state of Texas. My hormones were going to do what they were going to do.

Or should I say, they would do whatever my chromosomes allowed them to do. It had been a great battle for my body's features since then. I suffered from what is called MAIS.

Mild Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.

Everyone's body receives hormones in the womb and during puberty. Androgens are assigned to tell fat cells where to go, and then, with the testosterone, a boy's body starts to develop.

But with me, my X and Y chromosomes tried to prevent my androgen hormones from doing their job and partially succeeded. Hence, my female features, my micro-genitalia, the probability that I would not be able to father children, etc....

And for the past couple of months, I have been experiencing soreness around my areolas. They were already puffed out, unlike any areola/nipples that I'd ever seen on a guy, and now they were achy. I swear I thought they were swollen more than usual.

I was also a highly recruited athlete, and the university that I'll be attending wanted me to be seen by their doctors. Since they're the ones providing the NIL money, indirectly, of course. I had to keep the appointment.

They'd already done the blood work and ran all the tests. Now, it was time for the results.

When they broke it down for me, I had mixed feelings. It seems that I'm going through a late-stage growth spurt, and the achiness around my breast tissue is that I'm developing breasts.

Much like what everyone calls a late bloomer. When a girl suddenly develops breasts in her late teens, that's what I was about to experience. I may or may not grow taller, but I'd probably develop more feminine features.

But because I was eighteen now and the state of Texas couldn't interfere, I could undergo hormone treatment and start the process of reversing as much as my body would allow. I would raise my testosterone levels and block all of the estrogen and other female hormones from running wild in my body.

How it would affect my athletic drive was uncertain. I could develop into a super hormonal-driven athlete, or I could lose some of my athletic drive.

Because I'd been such a valuable recruit for the university that I'd chosen, they'd honor my scholarship no matter how it went. If I could no longer perform at the level I was recruited to perform, they'd still ensure I got a free education paid for by the athletic department.

But no more NIL money.

Valuable recruit, I thought. They weren't lying there. If it hadn't been for me accepting as early as I did, they may not have been able to sign half of their recruiting class.

"Samuel, it's up to you. If you don't want to do the treatments, you don't have to. You were recruited to play men's soccer, and that's what you'll be playing. In whatever your body looks like."

They gave me until graduation to start the treatments or let the hormones fall where they may.

*~~*

I had a lot on my mind. March had been a blast. Tim and I had been enjoying our morning workouts. I thought that we were on our way to becoming something special. Even the morning that I sucked his cock was great; everything about it was great. Until it wasn't.

Now, April has been hell, just like the end of March. Tim ignored me, and I couldn't resist checking out his IG occasionally. It was full of pictures of his recruiting visits. Always some cunt in his face, on his lap, who knows where else.

No matter how hard I tried not to let it affect me, it always did. Only my mother and Jan were there for me. Jan even came to my home to hang out with me, which was very sweet. She had a new boyfriend but always had time to hang out with her best friend.

*~~*

"No way, let me see."

It was mid-April and a few days since my specialist's appointment. Jan was amazed at the possibility of me growing breasts.

"Wow, instead of a little empathy, you want to turn me into some freak circus act right away?" I asked with a laugh.

"C'mon, let me see," she insisted.

I lifted my shirt, and she immediately gawked. Then she looked closer, getting her face inches from my chest. Then she laughed and shut up once she realized she might be acting just a bit on the insensitive side.

"I'm sorry, Sam, they look like mine did in the seventh grade. That's crazy."

"Cool, then, I don't have much to worry about because you're eighteen now, and there isn't much there," I said, pointing toward her chest.

"I've had no complaints, Sam; you know what the guys say, more than a mouthful is a waste!"

Jan was my saving grace during the difficult times at the end of my senior year. I don't know what I would have done without her. I walked her to the back door; my mother was out of town for the week, and she'd come over to keep me company.

My mother wanted me to invite her for a shopping weekend that we were going on. She wanted to take me shopping so I could update my social media platform. Apparently, the vendors sponsoring the soccer team next season wanted to see me with their product in hand.

"Yeah, sounds like fun; are you going to be ok here alone tonight?"

"I know you feel like I'm one of your girlfriends, but I'm a guy. Jan, I'll be fine."

"Big tough guy, oh my..." we both laughed. She hugged me, and we kissed on the cheek.

When I opened the back door, we almost swallowed our hearts. Standing there was Tim. Neither one of us heard his loud ass car pull up, which was odd.

"Hey Jan, look who it is. The long-lost prick has returned."

"Hello, Tim," Jan said and darted out the back door.

"Gee, thanks for sticking around and making sure nothing happens to me," I called out to her.

She said something or another, but I ignored her. My heart was racing; I was furious and ecstatic all at the same time. But all I wanted Tim to see was my angry side because fuck him!

"What do you want?" I said loudly and in a demanding tone.

"Are you serious?" he said with an incredulous tone.

"Yeah, what do you want?" I repeated myself, this time a little less demanding.

"Fuck, I guess nothing; if you'd rather I didn't come by, I'll leave."

Agghh!! I wanted to scream, fuck, why was he such a dick!

"Come in," was all I could say as I stepped back and held the door open for him.

"Is your mother home? I'm not in the mood for her tonight."

"No, she won't be back for a couple of nights. Why are you being a prick..."

"Because you're being a bitch. I can always leave."

He stepped back as if he was going to turn around, and I reached for his hand without thinking.

"Don't, you're being mean," I said in a low tone.

He pulled me into his arms, and he kissed me. He'd already disarmed me. I had told myself that I was going to tell him off. I was going to put him in his place because I wasn't going to take any of his shit.

He slid his hand under the waistband of my sleeping shorts and caressed my ass while he kissed me. All I could do was moan. My little cock was dripping; God, I missed him.

He smelled so good, so clean, so perfect. His hand was so big, and when he caressed my ass, he covered a large part of my ass cheek. But when he squeezed it, I could feel the strength of his grip. My ass is hot; you could bounce a quarter off of it. He was massaging it with ease.

He just kept kissing me, mouthing my lips, now he was massaging my ass. Fuck he had me under control, I was defenseless.

He pulled back, looking down at me. The size difference was intoxicating. There I stood at five-six to his six-three. I barely weighed one-forty, where he was last listed at two-ten. Both of us were in peak physical health. There was just so much more of him.

"You miss me?" He had the nerve to ask. I laid my head on his chest. If I answered, I'd only piss him off, and he'd just leave me here crying my eyes out. I couldn't believe my behavior.

"I got scared, babe. That's the honest truth. I just got scared." He said, holding me tight each time he said the word scared. At the very least, I took comfort in that.

He nudged my head with his nose, and I looked up into those hypnotic blue eyes, pouted, and took another long kiss.

"C'mon, let's go to your room, baby girl," I hated being called a girl, but at that moment, for the first time, I loved how it sounded coming from him.

Once inside my room, he closed the door and removed his leather jacket. He started unbuttoning his shirt, and I slid my shorts off, took off my t-shirt, and got in bed. He was undressing, and his every move had me rubbing my legs together like a cricket, calling for help.

When he got into bed, he lay beside me, and we were on our sides facing each other. He slid his arm under my neck and moved his other hand to grab the back of my thigh and position my leg over his hip, kissing me all the while.

"There's something different about you," his deep baritone voice gave me the chills.

"Maybe," I answered with my mouth wide open, the sound of my heavy breathing accompanying my response.

He moved his chest back and looked down at my upper body. I could see his eyes light up; he'd seen them.

"Are you," I couldn't let him finish without blushing profusely.

"Stop," I said, pressing my chest against his. "Yes, they're growing; just don't," I begged, blushing hard.

"I like them; they're like you, very pretty," he whispered.

He moved his mouth over my nipples, and what little bit of breast tissue that had been developing, he took it all into his mouth. The deep breath that this caused me to take sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

When he started suckling my tiny breast, my back arched, my toes curled, and at that moment, Tim wasn't a son of bitch or a motherfucker. I wasn't mad at him; I didn't hate him; he was my gorgeous, perfect man, and he could do no wrong.

He moved his mouth to my other breast or nipple or whatever you call what was growing on my chest at that moment. Whatever you want to call it, it was extremely sensitive. While he suckled my breasts, my neurons were firing double-time. It was impossible for me not to squirm, and I forgot how to breathe through my nose.

While we were on our sides, I'd managed to lift myself to the point that my arms were wrapped around his head. My chin was on top of his head. Tim had me, and he had to know it because he was going back and forth with my nipples, and I was just right at the edge of an orgasm.

Then he stopped, and I slid back down just in time to take his more than-needed kiss. He slid his hand behind my thigh and pulled it over his hip. I could feel his thick cock pressing against my tiny little cock and balls.

"You're wet, Sam," he said, looking into my eyes.

All I could do was nod yes while I bit my bottom lip.

"Did you miss me, babe," he smiled at me when he said this.

All kinds of responses came into my head. Miss you? I fucking hate you, you fucking bastard! How dare you skip out on me for almost a month! I felt hurt! What did I do to deserve to be treated the way you treated me? Fuck you!!

"Yes, sir," I whispered with a needy and grateful expression. That's how I responded.

"That's my girl." he responded with a smile.

I know, I know, I should have said what I was thinking, but it wasn't what I was feeling. He let me go and got up to dig into his pants, and I was laying there afraid that I'd said something wrong and he was going to leave, but before I could say anything, I saw him retrieve a small bottle of what turned out to be lube.

He got back into bed, grabbed me by my ankles, and spread my legs apart, then moved up on me until he was sitting back on his heels, and he had my legs spread wide and hanging over his thighs.

That was the moment that everything became real for me. Tim was going to fuck me; I was going to be fucked, and the moment that I'd always wondered if I could go through was unfolding at that moment.

I lay there staring at his every move, and I was very excited because it wasn't some random guy. It was Tim, and like it or not, I was emotionally invested in him. I still couldn't bring myself to ponder the thought that I might be in love, but I only had a connection to him and him alone.

He'd poured a more than generous amount of lube into his three fingers, and he leaned over me. I felt his fingers on my virgin asshole. He began kissing me, but not before telling me to pull my knees back and spread my legs as wide as I could and, above all else, relax.

"Just relax, baby, relax; let me loosen your tight little pussy."

He called my asshole a pussy; if I weren't so drunk with my lust, I would've objected. But at that moment, he could have called it whatever he wanted.

"Relax, ok, you have such a small little pussy, and it's so pretty and pink, baby girl."

Just like when he attacked my breasts the minute he pushed his fingers into me, I sucked all the oxygen out of the room again with the deep breath he caused me to take. He used all three fingers, and he had my attention because there was nothing small on Timothy.

"Ohhh, baby, ohhh...please," I whimpered, reaching down to grab his forearm.

Tim could've brutalized me and just continued to shove his fingers deeper, but the minute I started to speak, and the minute my hand touched his forearm, he stopped. He froze. Then he kissed me.