Infomercial

I'm the best cameraman in the country. I know it. Everybody knows it. So it did not come as a complete surprise when North American Pharmaceuticals offered me a ridiculous amount of money to film a new infomercial.

North American Pharmaceuticals had a new product on the market. A breakthrough product. It was going to be a blockbuster. It was a brand new type of sexual lubricant called Slippyslidey. A wonder lubricant. They were spending a large amount of money to promote it, and they had decided to go after the gay dollar. I guess they figured that not a lot of Christian dollars were going to be spent on a new sexual lubricant.

It seemed that somehow in this day and age of religion and anti-porn; in this age of family values determined to eradicate extra-marital and especially same-sex sexuality, Quantumvision, the vast cable network company, had also decided to go after the gay dollar and establish a hard-core gay pay porn channel, 'Effenesse.'

North American Pharmaceuticals had decided that Effenesse would be the perfect outlet on which to place an informercial for their new wonderproduct, Slippyslidey. They had hired me to film the informercial. And today was the day.

I didn't have to leave for the studio for another fifteen minutes, and I was sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a second cup of coffee.

"Daddy, will you play ball with me?" asked Reggie, my six-year old.

"I want to play too. I want to play too," screamed Jackie, my four year old.

"No. Your father has to go to work. And you have to go to school Reggie," said Veronica, my wife, as she shoveled another spoonful of strained peas into baby Alice's mouth.

"Aaahhh," screamed Alice in delight, as she pounded her tiny fists on the high chair. Some of the peas flew out onto Veronica's face. Veronica wiped her face with a paper napkin, and delivered another spoonful into Alice's tiny mouth.

"I don't care. I think it's disgusting," said Veronica.

"The peas?" I asked naively.

"The infomercial," she said.

I knew I should never have told her. "It's money, Veronica. It's good money."

"But it's perverted and immoral."

"But it's money, Veronica," I explained very slowly. "And I don't want to hear any more about it."

She sighed and got one more spoonful into Alice's mouth.

"What's a imfomercial, Daddy?" asked Jackie.

"It's a long commercial, like you see on television, Jackie," I answered, swallowing the last of my coffee. It was time to leave. I kissed the kids. I kissed Veronica. I took a napkin and wiped some strained peas off my mouth, and I went out the front door. I got into my car, and I drove down to the studio.

I parked in the parking lot, and proceeded to soundstage 12. Perry Pierson, the director/announcer was already there.

"Hi, Perry," I greeted him.

"Leo," he nodded, and we shook hands.

"As you can see, the set's already up," he gestured.

I looked. There was a large table full of tubes of Slippyslidey, and also an older brand, and to the right of it was a large vinyl mat on the floor. Yes. The set was up.

"The boys are in the dressing rooms," said Pierson. Just tell me when you get set up."

"Fine," I said. I set my lights all around the set and picked up my camera. I was not going to use a tripod for this. It would be hand-held camera, so I could get in all the tight places. Film all the crazy angles. I was determined that this was going to be as artistic a project as possible, even given the subject matter.

I pointed my camera at the table. I moved over to the mat and walked all around it, pointing my camera down. I got down on my knees, and looked through the sight. I seemed to be ready to go.

"Okay," I said. "Let's begin.

"Okay. First you focus on me," said Pierson. He took a position beside the table. In one hand he held a microphone, and his other hand rested on the table. I began to shoot.

"Gentlemen. Gentlemen," said Pierson into the microphone. I'm here to introduce you to the new wonderproduct. Slippyslidey, the aloe based lubricant, invented by North American Pharmaceuticals, especially for your pleasure.

He continued.

PIERSON After many years of experimentation and exhaustive animal testing in our laboratories, North American Pharmaceuticals is pleased to unveil its exciting new product, Slippyslidey. We are going to show you just how wonderful this product is. How superior it is to what was already on the market, which I will simply call 'The Rival Brand.'

Here, Pierson simply held up a blank white tube. The brand name had been covered. There was no point in embarrassing its manufacturer, Lethe Laboratories.

PIERSON Today we have two handsome young couples with us to help us with the demonstration. (I closed in on Pierson's face. Off to the side, four young boys emerged from the dressing room, wearing purple silk bathrobes, tied around the middle with a looped cord. Pierson turned to them and introduced them. I focused on their handsome young faces.) First, Teddy and Elmer are going to have sexual intercourse using 'The Rival Brand,' (Teddy and Elmer bowed slightly and smiled shyly at each other.) Then, Len and Mark (they bowed and grinned into the camera) are going to fuck using fabulous new Slippyslidey, the revolutionary aloe based lube. Len and Mark. You can go back to the dressing room for now, while Teddy and Elmer get it on. (Len and Mark turned and went back into the dressing room. I filmed their backs. Then I turned my camera on Teddy and Elmer.) Okay, boys. Time to get started. (I trained my camera on Teddy and Elmer's long slender bodies, as they slipped off their robes. They came together and started kissing. I moved right in close and my camera got Teddy's tongue snaking between Elmer's lips, and licking, licking inside his mouth. I lowered the camera and got Teddy's hand squeezing Elmer's beautiful round butt cheeks. He took both his hands and pulled the cheeks apart, so I could film the tiny pink aperture between the white fleshy mounds. I moved in close and shot a lot of feet of colored film.)

They continued kissing, and sucking tongues. Elmer got down on his knees in front of Teddy's long thick instrument. It wasn't all that hard. Elmer took it in his mouth and worked on it. It got harder. Teddy moved Elmer's mouth up and down on his dick. I filmed the blowjob, though I would probably be cutting it later. This infomercial was not about blowjobs.

The two of them stretched out on the mat. They were kissing again, and Elmer was manipulating Teddy's big cock.

PIERSON You ready, guys?

ELMER (smiling into the camera.) We're ready.

PIERSON (picking up a tube of The Rival Brand, and kneeling on the mat, where he opened the tube and smeared the clear gel all over Teddy's cock. Then he squeezed more on his fingers and began feeding them into Elmer's tight asshole. It wasn't that easy squeezing the tube and holding the microphone at the same time. He squeezed more gel onto his fingers.) Okay, guys. You see what I'm doing. I just covered Teddy's penis with The Rival Brand, and now I'm packing a load of it up Elmer's sweet little asshole. (I closed in on his greasy fingers packing into Elmer's clutching pink hole.) Now none of you can say we didn't use plenty of lube, here. See how much I'm getting into Elmer's lovechannel. A lot. Okay, guys. You're ready. Go for it. (Elmer turned over on his belly, and Teddy climbed on top of him. I closed in on the big rod as it started to push into the little opening.)

"Oh, shit," said Teddy.

"What's wrong?" asked Pierson.

"I'm losing my hard on. Oh, fuck. Goddamn." He kept trying to stuff it in, but my camera could clearly see that his dick was limp.

"Fuck. Shut off the camera," Pierson said to me. "He needs some plumping," explained Pierson.

I didn't know what plumping was.

"I guess, I'll do it," sighed Pierson. He laid down the microphone, and made Teddy straighten up on his knees. Pierson got down and took the limp cock into his mouth. He lovingly tended it, and teased it into hardness with his tongue. Now I knew what plumping was. I just stood there with the camera dangling on the end of my arm, and waited.

When the cock was hard again, Pierson covered it generously with The Rival Brand and made Teddy stretch out over Elmer. He fed the cock into Elmer's asshole with his greasy fingers. I switched on the camera and got behind Teddy's asscheeks and took a close-up of the hard rod pushing into the tight channel. Or 'lovechannel' as Pierson had called it.

"Oh, god," screamed Elmer. "This was not a delighted passionate 'oh, god.' It was an 'oh, god' of pain and agony.

"Stop. Stop," screamed Elmer. "It hurts."

"Keep going, boys, or you don't get paid," said Pierson in a low voice. You would still be able to hear it in the film. I would have to edit it out.

Teddy started humping his dick into Elmer's protesting ass. Elmer was twisting every which way trying to get away from it, but it was a guided missile. It wasn't going anywhere but in.

ELMER (crying. I closed in on the tears streaming down his cheek.) Oh, god. It hurts. It hurts. Please take it out. I can't stand it. OOOOOWWWWW. OOOOOOWWWWW.

TEDDY (bravely humping.) Damn. Your ass is hurting my dick. It's like fucking sandpaper.

Teddy started grimacing as he stroked in and out. I alternated on his pained expressions and on his cock moving in and out of the asshole, pulling flesh with it on the outstroke. Elmer's passage was clinging to the long cylinder instead of releasing it. The dick was not slipping and sliding easily into the 'lovechannel.'

I moved around in front of their faces and knelt. I got Teddy's displeasure. Then I moved my camera down onto Elmer's agonized contorted face. I focused in on the tears streaming down his cheeks.

ELMER AAAAGGGHHH. AAAGGGHHHH. It hurts. It hurts. Oh my god. Oh my god. Please. Please. I can't stand any more. Please. Please. OHHHHHHH. OHHHHH. It hurts. It hurts.

Not only was he crying. He was sweating. So was Teddy. Elmer was trying to throw Teddy off his back. He was thrashing and struggling. But Teddy wanted the money. He was going to finish the shoot no matter what. He held Elmer down, and stabbed into him. Elmer pushed up on his knees, and crawled a foot or two, but Teddy adjusted. He held onto Elmer's shoulders and crawled with him. That cock was not going to be dislodged from that ass.

Teddy wasn't having a good time, but he was persistent. He just kept plugging away trying to build up a load. I shot between their bodies, and my camera saw the now-red asschannel holding on to the marauding dick.

TEDDY I'm coming. I'm coming.

ELMER Come on. Come. God damn it. Finish. Hurry.

TEDDY AAAGGGHHH. AAAGGGGHHH.

This was not pain. This was ejaculation. My camera beamed down on Teddy's ass going into the short shoves. His hips whapping away against Elmer's round buttcheeks. Teddy flattened out on top of Elmer's back. The two of them were panting. Elmer was still crying. Pierson motioned for me to swing my camera around to the juncture of their bodies, and I filmed furiously as Teddy raised his ass, and placed his arms on the mat on each side of Elmer's head. He was lifting off. I filmed the shiny cock withdrawing, and I filmed the angry red gaping hole that was Elmer's ass. It was nasty looking. Swollen and puffy. Pearly white liquid started dribbling out of it. Then came a few pearly globs. I was shooting a male creampie. And the whiteness of the cream only made the unclosed passage look redder and sorer.

PIERSON How was that boys? (Pierson held the microphone up in front of Elmer's agonized face.)

ELMER It was horrible. It was just horrible.

PIERSON And how was it for you, Teddy?

TEDDY Well, Perry. Since you asked. It was really really lousy.

PIERSON I'm really sorry that you guys lost the toss and had to use The Rival Brand.

ELMER I'll never use that brand again. Never. Never Never.

TEDDY Me neither. That stuff is really shit.

PIERSON I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you each a free tube of our new wondergel, Slippyslidey. The gel with the aloe base. Next time use Slippyslidey and see what a good fuck you get.

They each accepted a tube from Pierson, and thanked him. Elmer was tenderly fingering his damaged asshole. They put on their purple bathrobes and tied the cord, before heading back to the dressing room. As they entered, they held the door open for Len and Mark who were walking toward us. I filmed them as they approached.

Mark was a wiry dark-haired stud. He was shaved but you could see the shadow of a beard. Len had peachy skin, and light brown hair. He was slightly rounder. Both were trim, good-looking young fellows.

When they got to the edge of the mat, they stripped off their robes. Mark had the bigger dick, and he already had half a hard-on. He would probably not have the same difficulty as Teddy. He would be hard when the time came to fuck. Len had a smooth hairless perfectly round butt. Or rather, two perfectly formed tight fleshy globes. Well-cushioned but firm.

They dropped their robes at the edge of the floor, and stepped onto the mat. They each shook hands with Pierson. Pierson held the microphone up in front of Mark's face.

PIERSON So, Mark. Tell everybody. Are you ready to fuck?

MARK I sure am, Perry.

PIERSON I can see you are, Mark. Look at that nice big hard dick. All ready to plunge in. (He reached down and wrapped his hands around the boy's cock. I moved the camera down and filmed his hand as he stroked the big dick. His hand moved lower and started fondling Mark's tense balls.

MARK Feels good, Perry. Man that feels so good.

PIERSON Just making sure you're nice and hard for Len's beautiful little ass. We want to make sure you're up to it.

MARK Oh, I'm up to it, all right. You don't have to worry about that.

PIERSON Just take a look at this beautiful ass on Len here. (He took Len's arm and turned him away from the camera. I focused the lens on his beautiful round swellings. Pierson whispered something in Len's ear, and he separated the two globes so that the film would capture the beauty of his rosy assmouth. I let the camera linger on his aperture.) Isn't that a beauty of an ass, Mark?

MARK It sure is. It's really a great ass.

PIERSON Why don't you feel it, Mark?

MARK Thanks, Perry. Don't mind if I do. (I filmed his hand reaching down and stroking Len's beautiful globular fleshmountains. Len was getting turned on, with a hand stroking his principal erogenous zone, his prominent twin juts.

LEN UNNNNGGG. (He started rotating his buttocks against Mark's pinching hand.

PIERSON You want to feel Mark's big thick dick crawling up your asshole? (He held the mike up to Len's face. Len's back was to the camera, but he turned his face to the side and spoke into the mike. I got a whole body shot of him speaking into the microphone, while circling his excited ass against Mark's palm.)

LEN Yes, Perry. I sure do. I sure do want to feel that big cock in my tight back passage. (He reached over and wrapped his hand tenderly around the gift that Mark would give him.)

PIERSON Well, let's get started, boys. No time like the present. Why don't you both lie down on this nice comfortable vinyl mat. (They nodded and sat down on the comfortable mat. Mark's anxious cock was jutting out ten inches in front of him. Pierson raised the microphone to his own lips and spoke into it.) Now these boys are the lucky pair. They won the toss. These two boys get to use North American Pharmaceuticals incredible new product, Slippyslidey. (He held a tube of the product up to the camera.) Slippyslidey, the aloe based lubricant. Slippyslidey for the fuck of a lifetime. Now all you folks get to see a Slippyslidey fuck in our controlled experiment, in our comparison copulation. You'll never want to use anything else again. I can guarantee you that. (He turns to the boys and holds the microphone over to them.) Are you ready, men?

MARK Boy, are we ready.

LEN Yes. Let's get this show on the road.

Pierson opened the tube and punctured it with the sharp end of the cap. He squeezed a large gob into his hand, getting it all over the microphone in the process. He reached his hand down, and lovingly covered Mark's big hammer with the slippery glob. I filmed his hand. Then I filmed Mark's ecstatic face as he reacted to the rubbing. Then back to the stroking hand. But now the hand was leaving. He was squeezing more Slippyslidey, this time onto his fingers. The fingers reached between Len's muscular thighs, and reached into the dark crack. Len adjusted his body. He lay on his back, and swung his legs up, exposing his opening, allowing Pierson's fingers to reach in and begin coating his 'lovechannel' with wonderful new Slippyslidey. His face registered pleasure as the fingers entered. I filmed his face, and I filmed his hole. I would cross cut the two shots later. Pierson squeezed more goo and stuffed it into the boy. Mark and Len were both well coated now.

I filmed Mark walking on his knees, prick outstretched, toward Len's asshole. He got in tight, and grabbed his rigid dick. He placed one hand on the underside of Len's raised thigh, as he pushed his cock inside. It went in easily. Len gasped. This was not a gasp of pain. It was a gasp of limitless joy. His mouth spread in a smile, and his eyes narrowed contentedly as he felt the long rod moving into him. When Mark's balls hit against his full bottomcheeks, he went "HHHHMMMMM," in appreciation and swung his legs around Mark's waist. His heels were pressing against Mark's asscheeks. He was pressing Mark into him. He wrapped his arms around Mark's body and held Mark against him. Mark wrapped his own arms around Len, and they were pressed chest to chest, as Mark brought his mouth down to Len's and they began kissing and sucking each other's tongues.

I filmed the kiss and then I panned over their bodies and knelt down behind Mark's ass, as he plowed into his partner. Mark's ass was slim and strong. It was not smooth like Len's. It was covered with black hairs. It was masculine and sexy. I moved the camera past Mark's tight balls, and filmed his shiny cock as it stretched into the bottomless hole that was Len's body. In. Out. In. Out. It was going in so smoothly. So easily. It looked so good. I could imagine my own cock covered with Slippyslidey and moving into that tiny pretty stretched hole. So tight. So slippy. So Slidey. I was getting a hard-on.

I had to concentrate to keep the camera from shaking. I was getting so horny. I wanted to stick my cock into that pretty hole. I wanted to fuck that tight lovechannel. I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck. I reached down and put my hand on my fly, trying to calm my troubled prick.

LEN UUNNNNFFFF. UNNNNNNFFF. Yes. Fuck me. Fuck me. Stick that big dick into me. Slide it way up my hot hole. Give me your slick dick. Give me your slick dick. So smooth. So sweet. I love it. I love it. Oh, fuck me, man. Just fuck me.

MARK Yeah, man. I'm fucking your hot tight hole. My cock is slipping and sliding deep inside your rectum. It feels so good. So good. I want to come, but I never want this to stop. I'm trying not to come. I want to make this last. This is so good. So good. This is the best fuck I've ever had. The best fucking fuck.

LEN Yes. The best fucking fuck I've ever had. The best. The best. I never felt anything like this before in my whole life.

MARK Oh, your ass is just the greatest. The greatest, and the tightest and the hottest. I want to wade in it forever.

They were driving me crazy. I was about to shoot off in my pants. If I had been a teenager, instead of a married man and father of three, I would have shot off in my pants. But I was old enough to control myself. Still they were driving me into a sexual frenzy.