There's this guy I work with, Jason. We don't actually work together - I'm in accounting, he's in shipping - but we run into each other fairly often, and for a while now we've been having lunch together a few times a week. We're sort of an unlikely pair, really. Jason is 23, I'm pushing 50, he's straight and I'm gay, he's a big sports fan, and I couldn't care less. Although, I do try to keep up on his favorite teams, just to be able to have a decent conversation with him if the subject comes up. So what's the attraction? Well, I don't know if Jason considers me a mentor, exactly, but he seems to value my opinion, at least on some subjects. We've become close enough that he sometimes comes over to my place on weekends, especially if one of his teams has a game on TV. His wife, Susan, doesn't like sports, at all, and would rather not have him watching games at home. Her loss, my gain.
So Jason was at my place Saturday, watching what he said was a really important game. We had a few beers while the game was on, and when it was over he didn't seem especially anxious to leave. We chatted for a while, nothing worth repeating, then he said, "You're gay, right?"
"Right," I answered. Common knowledge.
"So, you're into anal?"
"Not always," I said. "Depends on who I'm with."
"Well, when you do, which one are you?"
"You mean top or bottom? Again, depends on who I'm with. I'm what they call versatile."
He took a few seconds to process that, then said, "OK, but when you're the bottom, doesn't it hurt?"
"Not if you do it right," I said. "What's with all the questions?"
"Well," Jason said, "I've been trying to get Susan to try anal with me, and she finally agreed. But then she said it really hurt, and now she doesn't want to do it again. Ever. So maybe we didn't do it right."
"It's not really any big mystery," I said. "You just need to take your time, and use plenty of lube."
From the look on Jason's face, I might have been speaking a foreign language. "Lube?"
"Sure," I said, "lubricant. Look Jason, let me 'splain something to you. When a woman starts to get turned on and wants to have sex, her vagina starts getting wet. Maybe you just call it pussy juice, but that's a lubricant. So when you actually get started, you slide in pretty easily, because she is already wet. Lubricated. You with me so far?"
"Yeah," he said, "I guess."
"OK," I said. "Here's where lube comes into play. When you're talking anal, there's no natural lubricant. You have to provide it yourself. Now in the old days, people just used petroleum jelly, and that worked. But then we found out that didn't work too well with condoms, so a few personal lubricants came out. There's one that's pretty popular with straight couples, so you can probably find it in your drugstore."
Jason said, "Yeah, I've seen that. I always wondered what it was for."
"Well," I said, "it's not just for anal. Sometimes a woman doesn't get wet enough, or a couple just likes the sensation. I guess some guys probably use it when they jerk off. It's not really the best for anal though. Gays usually want something more heavy duty. There's a lot of brands out there, but you probably won't see them in the drugstore. I get mine at the adult store."
"OK," Jason said, "you said the thing is to take your time and use plenty of lube. So, how's that going to work?"
And I'm thinking, "Fuck, he wants the whole tutorial. Now what?"
"Well Jason," I said, "let's imagine I'm going to fuck you. I'll walk you through it, step by step, and you can ask any questions you want."
He gave me a suspicious look. "Strictly hypothetical, right?"
"Sure," I said, "absolutely. It's just that it will be easier for me to describe with a real person than with some abstraction. Plus, if I describe it with you, you might be able to imagine how Susan is feeling when you do it with her."
He thought about it for a few seconds, then said, "Yeah, that makes sense. I just don't want you getting the wrong idea."
"No problem," I said. "Ready?"
Jason took a deep breath, then said, "OK, ready."
"OK," I said, "first I'm going to give you a little head, just to get you turned on and in the mood for some excitement. Then I'm going to turn you over and rim your ass for a while."
"Rim my ass? You mean with your tongue?" I just nodded. "Isn't that sort of unsanitary?"
"Not if you keep yourself clean down there," I answered. "I can always get a washcloth if I have to. You've never done that with Susan?"
"No way," he said. "She'd freak out if I tried it."
"Too bad," I said, "she'd probably love it. So would you. Anyway, moving on. I rim your ass for a while, and you start feeling really, really good. You start wondering what it's going to feel like when I actually start fucking you, and you can hardly wait to find out. So, your ass is getting relaxed and loosened up, and when I think you're ready, I drizzle some lube into your butt crack. I spread it around with my fingers, and little by little I work a finger into your ass. OK so far?"
"Yeah, I think so. It's not going to hurt?"