Although it's been a few months since it happened, the experience I'm about to confess feels like it just happened yesterday, it's that intense. I should begin a few weeks before it all began, when I was moving into my new apartment, after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend.
My friend stood me up at the last minute of the day I was to move my belongings. I didn't have much, but my apartment was on the second floor. Even hauling 10 boxes up a flight of stairs is pretty tiring. I was into my third box when I heard a voice from behind me as I was carrying a box through my doorway.
"Need some help?" I heard from behind. I turned to see a tall, slender black man coming from the apartment across from me.
"Thanks, but I couldn't impose." I answered.
"Hey, what kind of neighbor would I be?" He insisted.
"Well, thanks. I appreciate it." That was all I could say. He saved me a few trips up and down the stairs. We exchanged names as we carried the remaining boxes. His name was Lamar and I told him my name, Adam.
When he noticed that I had no furniture, he volunteered to help me with moving any other items. I explained that my bedroom and living room furniture were being delivered by the store I just purchased them from. Since I am in my mid-twenties Lamar guessed that I had just finished college. I told him I was a few years from that and that I just left my girlfriend. He noticed I had no bed and volunteered an inflatable mattress he had when he had family over. I told him I had planned to use a sleeping bag, but I took him up on his offer. As a way to say thank you, I invited him to share the pizza I was going to order, which we enjoyed with a few beers.
My friendship with Lamar grew quickly. We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of weeks, shopping for groceries, buying items for my new place and him introducing me to other residents at the apartment's pool. He grilled some steaks for me one night, I cooked some spaghetti a couple of nights later. Lamar was the first black friend that I ever had, while this might not be a big deal to most, it was huge for me because I had a secret that no one knew about, especially Lamar. I had a strong sexual attraction to black men.
I had always lived my life as a totally straight male, but underneath my heterosexual exterior I had this incredible allure for black men. Even my girlfriend of three years never knew that secretly I would masturbate once or twice a week watching interracial porn, not for the ladies, but the men. I would fantasize I was the person with those huge black cocks. What scared me about getting to know Lamar, was that I was very attracted to him, physically.
More and more as we spent time, I found myself curious what he was packing in those pants. I could see he had a bulge; it was obvious, but how big was that black cock of his? His body was incredible as well, tall, lean and muscular. He was every bit the type I wanted for my first homosexual experience, but I was too scared to even hint to him that I wanted him as badly as I did. Lamar was just too masculine and manly to even suggest he might be into men.
Now, my porn of choice went from interracial straight porn to watching white men suck and fuck hung black men. I never dared to even peek at scenes like this before, but my desire and curiosity was too overwhelming. Night after night I would blow a huge load watching white men get it on with black men as I jerked off to the screen. It did nothing but make me want Lamar even more.
Now into our second month of friendship. I was so used to Lamar coming over, I wouldn't even tidy up for company. He would call to see if it was ok. I would always answer, "of course". We got to a level of comfort to where he wouldn't even knock. One afternoon I got a call from Lamar to see if he wanted to do some grocery shopping together. The great thing was with these stores offering so many B.O.G.O deals, we would often split the bill, saving some good money. I was in the middle of a lengthy and intense jerk-off session when he called. I paused the video and answered the phone. As soon as I agreed to go shopping with him, I went to get ready. I would just have to finish the jack off session at a later time.
A few minutes later, Lamar had entered. I was putting on my shoes when he said, "Ready?" I jumped up and said "Let's go!". When I reached the door with Lamar behind me, I realized I left my wallet by my computer in my bedroom. I mentioned I needed to grab it and Lamar volunteered to retrieve it. I wasn't even thinking of what was still on my screen when I told him where the wallet was. Lamar entered my bedroom but didn't emerge, a few seconds had passed, I wondered what was going on.
"Adam?" He called out to me, his voice sounded funny. I went into my bedroom to find Lamar standing in front of my computer. I thought it would have gone into sleep mode, but even with that I just forgot what I left showing on the screen. Lamar was standing in front of the computer with the clear image of a white man being spit roasted by two hung black men. He had a big black cock in his mouth and another fucking his ass. I froze in fear.
"What is this?" He asked. I tried to answer, but I just stuttered. "Umm, I...I...can...um...explain..."
"Are you gay?" He asked straightforward.
"No...no!" I shot out.
Lamar had a look of shock, a look of disbelief. "Come on Adam, tell me. Are you into this? You into black men?"
"Lamar, please...let me explain." I tried to come up with more words but just came up short. My friend simply left the room, I could hear the door close behind him. I sat in disbelief in what just happened. Minutes may have passed, I wasn't sure. The pornographic image just sat in front of me. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. It was Lamar.
