.5 - Deleted Scene

Deleted - unedited scene MNPA (24)

SPOILER WARNING!

In case you haven't read the previous chapters and the FomEB storyline.

I later decided to cut this scene since I implemented many of that in published Chapter 24 - Thomas's Confession.

Much of that here is redundant since is more like a recap of things, and I would have to write another two chapters to complete this scene (talk with Peter and Ross, and then I would still have to write the meeting with Thomas)

Since I would like to allocate my time better, I haven't finished it, and neither is edited, so be patient with it :).

In the timeline - FomEB is between chapters 14 and 15

Jan. 3rd, 2020

The first night without Natasha here was strange. Even though I thought I didn't care about her much, waking up in that empty bed and not hearing her chitchatting made me miss her a lot. She really was a great woman. I just refused to acknowledge it for so long that I myself have forgotten about it. Am I a really bad person?

Since she told me she wanted me gone when her father came, I got ready and drove away before eight. I just rode on the morning roads and thought about what I wanted to do now with my life.

Thomas loves me... Damn... I mean, I knew he liked me and was attracted to me, but love? I didn't know how to feel about that. Many people told me that before. Why is this one so powerful?

It kind of makes sense now why he is so protective of his emotions, given the circumstances. I understood his points, and I agreed with him that the relationship between us is not perspective, but what should I do now?

I drove without any intention, deep in my thoughts, when I stopped at a red light. "Left, right, straight, back, left, right, straight, back..." I repeated while waiting for the light to turn green. It was an old game we used to play with guys; it made me smile. Thank heavens, there were no traffic lights that night... I shook as my subconscious started linking old memories, but I was saved when the word "left" came with the green light. I turned the blinker on and, despite various complaints from other drivers on the road, I went left. I repeated this a few times, just driving around and chanting.

I didn't know where I was when I saw a huge man step out of the car in front of a small gym. He looked familiar. I stopped and looked at him. He turned around and saw me. At first, we both frowned a little trying to remember where we saw each other.

"Matt?" he said.

"Phil?" I tried. I think he was the guy from Ben's party who pointed out that I was straight.

"Ross, but close enough," he grinned.

"Right, sorry, Phil was that blond guy?"

"Yeah, but it's fine. I'm surprised you remember even that."

"I wasn't drinking."

"Yeah, me neither, but you had other interests then."

"Right."

I looked behind him at the building; it looked like a small gym. I remember Ben said he owned one. Was this it? I suppose that could explain why the majority of people at his party were ripped like that.

"Did you come to train, or do you want me to call Ben or Peter?"

"No, you're fine. I got here by accident, actually. I didn't know it was here."

"Really?" he looked doubtful.

"Yeah, it's a game we used to play with my buddies when we were driving, and the world was too much."

"TMI a bit? Damn, I shouldn't be speaking with people when I'm like this."

Ross looked at me like he understood.

"Come out, man. If the world is too much, you've come to the perfect place to deal with it."

"I don't even have anything to wear."

"I'll deal with it. Come." He said it in such a directive tone that I had to smirk.

"Is every friend of Thomas's dominant?"

He looked at me, amused. "Now, when you say it like that..."

"Really?"

"I'll think about it. But don't worry, I wouldn't do that to him."

"I didn't try to say..."

"You're fine, Matt. You get points for making me laugh. I thought that wouldn't be possible these days."

"Why?"

"Step out of the car and come beat some punching bag with me."

I raised my eyebrows and had to admit I could use that.

I got out of the car, and Ross checked me out with a smile.

"Damn... I tell you, man, I have the best radar of all my friends for straight dudes, but with you, I would never guess it was possible."

"Thank you?"

He laughed and turned to the door. I locked the car and followed him.

"It's written here that it's closed."

"That's right. But we're in luck because I know the owner."

"Ben?"

"Ben," he winked and wrote something on his phone.

"Maybe I should go buy some workout clothes."

"I will lend you some."

"You're like twice my size, man."

"Don't worry. You will look cute."

"You say that one more time, and it'll be the last thing you say today, boy." I stared at him. For some reason, I felt the need to establish the fact that I am not some cute sub he can taunt.

Ross froze and looked at me. He observed me closely. I stared at him, and he frowned a little before grinning.

"Noted, but you shouldn't take yourself too seriously, man."

"Thanks for the advice."

"Man, you should pick carefully which sub you take between the two of you. That poor soul wouldn't know what hit them." He grinned while shaking his head.

"Why should we take anyone?" I growled. I wasn't in the mood for this.

"I am just saying, man. Chill. You made me laugh, but I am in a bad place as well, and I seriously don't mind venting that on you."

We stared at each other, and I liked him. We both smiled in understanding when the door opened, and the whole entrance was filled with a huge black guy in a white shirt.

"Hi... Matt?"

"Yeah, lover boy here was driving around, and I dragged him here. Where is Phil?"

"He's upstairs with Peter, but they will be leaving soon. Peter's parents will bring Sheila back in the evening."

"Can he borrow some clothes for Matt here? He doesn't want to look..." he looked at me and grinned.

"He doesn't want to borrow mine, and Phil is about his size."

"You came to work out without clothes?"

"I was really dragged here."

Ben looked meaningfully behind me. "With your car?"

Ross rolled his eyes with a smile and told him how we met.

"That's a cool game."

"Yeah, I am really grateful for it now." I looked away and said sarcastically.

"Just come in, you two. I will ask Phil." Ben led the way in. "How did you know we were here?"

"I saw your car yesterday, and since Phil is more into your kink than Peters, I made an educated guess."

"Right. And why didn't you train at yours?"

"I was, but then I broke a few things and rather left."

Ben looked at Ross and sighed.

"Kyle?"

"Yeah..."

Ben nodded sympathetically. "Right."

.

"I will show him around," Ross said, guiding me through the gym and into the locker room.

"Who's Kyle?" I asked.

Ross turned to me with a frown. "Guy that irks me."

"In what way?" I asked.

"In the worst way."

"Which one is that?"

Ross looked at me and sighed. "Guy I like, but he's got his own issues."

"We all do," I replied.

"I suppose," Ross said.

"Do you want to be with him?" I asked.

"Yeah, but he's engaged."

"I see... Does he love her?" I asked.

"Him. And yeah, he says he does."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I will survive," Ross replied.

Ben brought me some of Phil's things, which were old but at least clean. I borrowed his shoes as well and put them on. I tried to act like I didn't care, but being in cheap old clothes again was difficult for me. I suppose I grew into a snob, but I had my reasons for that. I looked at myself in the wall mirror and swore inside, trying not to think about it.

We entered the gym, and I was surprised to see how well-equipped it was. There were punching bags, weights, and other equipment scattered around the room. Ross went over to a rack of gloves and handed me a pair.

"What's the deal with you?" Ross asked as he saw me frowning at my reflection.

"Nothing," I said.

"Come ooon," he said.

"Damn, okay. I look like my father, and I hate that."

"He worked out?" Ross asked.

"He was a cop and an unsuccessful boxer, so yeah, a lot."

"Do you box?" Ben asked.

"No, at least not as a sport. I used to get into a lot of fights when I was younger."

"What a great group we are," Ross said, grinning at Ben, who just nodded.

Neither of them looked surprised at what I said, and neither seemed like they would feel the need to question me more about it. That was a relief.

"Right, we should get to it," Ross said.

"Come on, let's get you warmed up," he said, gesturing for me to follow him to a corner of the gym where there was a mat laid out on the floor.

"Do you have any experience with boxing or martial arts?"

"Yeah, dad started training me when I was eight, and then I got into lots of fights, but it's been a while."

"Alright, then it should be familiar."

"Yeah... great." I looked at my hands.

"You okay?"

"No... But don't worry about me."

Ross started wrapping his own hands while I tried to copy him. It was harder than I thought, and I ended up having to ask him for help.

"Here, let me do it," he said, grinning.

I held out my hand, and he started wrapping it tightly, but not too tightly.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem."

"Just hit the bag," he said, pointing to one of the punching bags. "It's a good way to take out some frustration."

I nodded and put on the gloves. As I started hitting the bag, I could feel the anger and frustration inside of me slowly dissipating. It felt good to take out my emotions on something physical. I could hear Ross hitting the bag next to me and grunting.

We spent the next hour or so working on some techniques, and it felt good to focus on something physical. Ross was a good trainer, and he took the time to correct my form.

Soon Ben joined us.

"Do you want to box?"

"Honestly, I'd rather wrestle," I said, remembering Thomas pinning me down every time.

Ben grinned widely and looked at Ross.

"Sure, it's been a while. It could be fun."

We began with some basic stretches, and then we started taking turns sparing. Ben and Ross were good teachers, patient but demanding, and they kept pushing me constantly.

I have been at the gym before, but what these two unleashed upon me was pure Sparta!

They were the worst! We trained so hard that I knew I would hurt more from one day here than after the whole weekend at Thomas's. Neither of us backed down. We were pushing ourselves and taunting each other until we were soaking wet and couldn't move properly.

I was delirious at some point, but I just pushed harder. There was no way I would let these bastards win. I didn't care that I hadn't trained in months!

"Done!" I lay down on the floor and breathed. I was pumped! My chest was rising and falling, and I looked at them, sitting and grinning.

"I must admit, Matt, respect. I wouldn't say you could do that," Ben started laughing.

"What?"

"You should see him with Tom! I think he finally met his match."

"I believe that. Was it good?"

"You both slept with him?"

"No. Well, we mostly split some guys from time to time. And it was back in college."

"Similar."

"What was he like?"

"Cool dude." Ross shrugged his shoulders and lay down.

"Why does he have such an issue with straight men?"

"You should ask him that. It's not our place to say."

"So there is a reason?"

"As with everything. I suppose your anger issues do have a reason as well."

"Right..."

"But I thought you broke that ice since you managed to be his pet."

"I am not his pet, bastard."

Ross looked surprised.

"He is right, Ross. He never saw his playroom."

"What!?"

"What is the playroom?"

Both looked at me, stunned. "What do you mean you don't know what a playroom is?"

"Well, I can guess... It's like a dungeon, you have?"

"Yeah, Tom likes the cold feel of stone, and he calls it a dungeon, but it's a BDSM term, playroom. You've never heard it before?"

"No, I don't really know much about BDSM in general."

They both sat down and looked at me like I was trying to convince them that I didn't know what air was.

"What?"

Ross looked confused. "How can you be sleeping with Tom and not know about BDSM?"

"Well, from what I saw, their sex is mostly fighting with fucking."

"Yeah." I agreed with Ben.

"Okay, but before that. What kind of porn have you watched, for example?"

"Normal straight porn."

"And you never stumbled upon BDSM kind? It's everywhere these days."

"Sure, I just never watched it."

"Fascinating."

"Why?"

"I just thought that you enjoy that kind of thing."

"No. I would never want to have sex like this with a woman, and since I am straight, I watched only porn I enjoyed."

They looked at each other.

"So you fucked only at yours before?"

"No, never, actually. My fiancé lives there, and I took him into the apartment I have for hookups only after New Year's when he refused to take me home."

"Then where did you do it before?"

"You have an apartment for hookups?"

"At his place, and yes, I do. He wasn't very thrilled about it."

"Where in his house did you fuck?" Ben asked.

"Wait, wait. I need to know something. Did you see Tom's bedroom?" Ross asked.

"There is no way he could see it, Ross. I just told you he never saw his playroom."

"What are you talking about? Of course, I was in his bedroom. Where do you think we slept together, in my bed with Natasha in the next room?" This was getting irritating.

They looked at me like I was some kind of superhero. I didn't know whether to feel flattered or offended.

"What?"

"He let you into his bed untrained?"

"...Yes?"

"And he let you top him THERE?"

"Yes."

"No!" Ross yelled and looked at Ben and me in disbelief.

Suddenly everything changed. Now they looked like big protective brothers staring me down.

"What?"

They looked at each other.

"Now, I will ask you a few questions, and I want you to think very carefully about the answers. Are you ready?"

"No."

"Are you just playing with him?" Ben's raised voice was something I never could have imagined. The sheer authority oozing from him made me jerk back, and my brain shut down. The closest I could describe it was when I saw marines being shouted at and pushed by their commanding officer.

"No!"

"So, it's serious for you?!"

"Yes!"

"Did you break up with your fiancé because of him?"

"Yes..."

"Do you care for him?"

"Yes."

"Do you love him?"

I froze...

My mind was blank, but only because my mouth refused to move. I knew it instantly. The second his lips finished, the word "love,"... Do I really? I imagined his stern face, his dark night-sky eyes, the sound of his voice when he laughed, and the way his eyes narrowed and little wrinkles formed around them. I remembered our talks in the office and that ever-present notebook, his firm, calm voice, and the way he could look at me. I remembered vividly those feelings when I was witnessing all that, and I realized that I did like him a lot. Was that love? Was the first verbal thought my brain was able to produce...

Natasha told me that if I didn't love him, she doesn't think I would be able to love... Was she right?

"Fuck... I think I do..."

This really hurt me... I covered my eyes and felt tears in them. This is really mental! I can't love a man! How could I even be only with a man?

"What is the point anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Both were smiling at me.

"He refuses to be with me..."

"What do you mean he refuses to be with you?" Ross exclaimed. "You were together just three days ago."

Ben looked as if he knew.

"He told me to consider it a Christmas gift."

"What the fuck?!"

"Did he tell you why?"

"He told me he doesn't have time to indulge my curiosity about my sexual orientation."

"Was that the whole reason?"

"Well, no... He also said he cannot trust my word, and he would never be enough for me."

"Was he right?"

"Fuck, how should I know?"

"Did you ever break your word?

"Yes, and he waxed my chest for that!"

"What?" Ross was stunned, but Ben frowned as if things were falling into place for him.

"What kind of deal did you break?"

"He didn't want to have an affair with me, so we agreed that once the weekend was over, we would not be sleeping together, and I kind of pounced on him. You know what? Now when I think about it, I didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to be with him, and he was the one jealous, and he reciprocated."

"He was jealous?"

"I may have let him believe that I slept with someone else."

Both looked at me with concern.

"Man or woman?"

"Man."

"Did you?"

"No. I was in a friend's shirt." I told them pretty much what had happened since that day...

They looked like they cared a great deal about Thomas, but I was sure they liked me. Maybe just maybe, they could help me.

"Do you want to be with him?"

"You mean as in a relationship?"

"Yes..."

"I don't know... I mean, I am not gay..."

"Seriously? How delusional are you, man?!" Ross looked agitated all of sudden

"I mean it. I've never felt like this before. I've always been with women."

"Yet you can't stand the thought of not being with Thomas."

Did Ben just call him Thomas? I thought about it... he was right... even if I found another woman, would she ever be enough for me without him? No... I couldn't imagine being with any woman as I am with Thomas. But could I imagine living without sex with women? I know it sounds crazy, but I genuinely don't think I can...

"I can't."

Did I want to be only with him? The truth was that I really couldn't imagine anyone else calming me down the way he could. Not even Brandon and there was no woman in my life who could be able to do that... Could I be with him and be faithful? I suppose this is something that I need to really think about...

Ben patted me on the back and stood up.

"Go change, guys. Peter should be done with the meal, and I could eat something."

Ross and I nodded and went to shower and change.

I came out. "I will wash them and bring them back."

"Don't worry. I will wash them here. Phil will probably stay at our place for a bit."

"Seriously? Can I join?" Ross grinned.

"No," Ben said with a charming smile.

"How long have you two liked him?"

"A while."

"The three of you are together?"

"We'll see. It's very fresh," Ben smiled at me as we stepped up the stairs. We entered a small flat. It looked cozy.

"Hi, guys!"

That green solace again. What is it with these people? As if they have some kind of weird power over me. I couldn't stop looking at him. If Ben were a hellhound, I'd go with an angel when it comes to Peter. He was seriously pretty. He looked young, yet in his eyes, there was this maturity. It was captivating, now that he wasn't glaring a hole into my soul.

"No."

"What?" I asked.

Ben grabbed my jaw and turned me away from Peter with a meaningful look.

"Just stop it. I just think he's very pretty."

What is it with me today?

"You speak like a true straight person," Ross chuckled, and Peter smiled at me.

"How is Thomas?"

"No idea."

I sat flustered. Peter looked at Ben, but he just shook his head.

"And what's with you? I thought you would be at Kyle's since Karl is with Don."

"Phil! What the fuck?!"

"What? They just asked me why you're so gloomy."

"Keep me out of your pillow talk, man!"

"Fine, sorry!"

"Isn't it easier like that? When they both have someone?"

"No, it's not." Ross was obviously pissed, and Ben frowned at Peter.

"What?"

"That was not cool."

"I was just curious."

"Still, none of your business."

"Fine, sorry." Peter rolled his eyes.

Talk about RK/Matt asking about T and his relationship with P