Not only did my mother have to accept the fact that her only son was gay, that was hard enough in itself! She'd always dreamed of having grandchildren and now that would never happen. No, in addition to that, my mother had to accept the fact that I'd fallen totally, head-over-heels in love with a man nearly her age! The first few times she met Sam, she looked at him as if he were a child molester! But she got over that, eventually. After she'd known about Sam and me for about 6 months, mom then had to accept the fact that her 19 year old son was leaving home.
Sam and I had lived together for around 3 months when my twentieth birthday arrived. Looking back on it now, I think that was the day that would eventually change my life! On that special day, Sam did something I never expected. He first told me to undress completely, which wasn't unusual, this actually happened quite often. He then grabbed my wrist and forcefully pulled me over his lap. With one big warm hand on my naked back, he raised the other and gave me a playful smack on my right cheek. I giggled. The next swat was harder, but still didn't even sting.
After 4 or 5 of his playful spanks, I asked for them harder. He hit me the next time, and it almost stung. So I asked for it harder again. We went back and forth until the last 5. Those last five left my butt warm and rosy red with his palm prints all over it. I don't think I'd realized how turned on I'd gotten until the spanking was over with! My smallish penis was rock hard! And I could feel Sam's giant cock throbbing against my hip.
I slid off his lap onto my knees and proceeded to give him the best blowjob I'd ever given. I even showed him his cream on my tongue before swallowing it, I know he loves that. As soon as I'd swallowed, I looked up into his eyes and felt my lower lip quiver. The next thing I knew I was sobbing uncontrollably. Sam reached down and pulled me onto his lap, holding me close and letting me cry my eyes out. It took me quite a while to get a hold of myself. The emotions rushing through me were so powerful. I had feelings I'd never experienced before and couldn't explain if tried.
When I'd finally calmed down, Sam whispered in my ear, "Are you okay?" After meeting his eyes, I began to giggle. With it all over with, it was embarrassing that I'd broken down like that. I tried to tell him it was nothing. But he wouldn't buy it. He kept me there naked on his lap and we talked about it.
After he'd asked me a multitude of questions about the spanking and my emotional meltdown, all of which were completely humiliating to answer. He began asking me about my childhood. Through that conversation, we both learned a something about me. While growing up, I looked for ways to get punished. It was like I needed my mother making the decisions and enforcing rules. My mother had never abused me, not even close. If I used any of the big swear words or got caught in a lie, I'd be sure to find myself standing in the bathroom with a bar of soap in my mouth. For most other mistakes, I'd wind up over her lap getting a spanking. Most of the spankings I could remember were on my bare bottom.
Another thing we'd learned from that long conversation was that even now, I felt I needed to be punished from time to time. And I confessed that I loved the idea of Sam deciding when and how I would receive that punishment. That statement led to the tangent of what I thought a punishment should be. I didn't know exactly, other than a spanking, but told him I thought a punishment should hurt. It shouldn't be playful or restrained. After all, it was supposed to be a punishment.
Sam held me close against him then. As I cuddled up against him on his lap, he whispered in my ear, "Baby, I'd be happy to punish you, I think I might enjoy it. But I need to hear you tell me that you'll accept the punishments without your feelings changing toward me. I can't imagine you falling out of love with me because of this. I know you can't make that promise, but I need to hear you say it. I need you to look me in the eye and ask me to punish you when you need it. I need you to tell me that you want it, that you need it. Can you do that?"
Without saying a word, I slid off his lap and stood up before him. While still completely naked, I took his hands as he stood up. Looking up into his eyes, I said, "Sam, I love you. And I would really appreciate it if you would punish me. I'll let you decide how, when, where and for what reason I should be punished, I trust you. I don't really know why I think I need this, but I do. And Sam, I want you to be the one to do it."
I stood there blushing and feeling pretty foolish for what seemed like hours. I was still naked and he was completely dressed. I don't think I could have felt sillier if I tried. Finally, a loving smile spread across his face when he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. He told me that he loved me too and from now on, I should be on my best behavior because he would be watching. We both giggled a little and held each other close.
Weeks passed without a single punishment. I was beginning to think Sam forgot about that conversation we had. On several occasions I almost hinted about it, but decided not to. I didn't want to push Sam into something he wasn't completely comfortable doing. Maybe he loved me so much that he couldn't hurt me? I was still hoping he loved me so much he would.