Everyone is over 18. Thank you for reading.
Back when I was 18 years old, one of my guy friends and I started fooling around with each other. What started with mutual masturbation to porn, transitioned to helping each other. Over the coming months, we would kiss while our hands explored each other's bodies.
Not long after, I moved away to further my education, met a girl and eventually married and started a family. If I thought of those times with my friend, I would tell myself it was just curious exploring of an 18 year old and didn't mean anything more than that, however now and then I would recall those times with my friend while I masturbated and wonder what it would be like again. Afterwards, scolding myself for those thoughts as a married man.
A couple years go by, the thoughts didn't go away, they were still my secret. Then I bumped into my old friend. He'd stop by my work, not long before quitting time, every day on his way home, we would catch up and I would drive him home after I got off. After a few days like this, he brought up he had been thinking of what we used to do, and wondered if I would like to again, he didn't know how often I'd thought about it. I panicked and went to the automatic response, that we were only 18 and exploring, I'm married now and can't. He got out of my car and went to his apartment. The last time I saw him. If he would have came by a couple more times, who knows, I might have gave in.
More years go by, a few times I find a way to bring up being with a guy to my wife, always with a back up plan to make it into a joke depending on her reaction. Needless to say, I always had to make it into a joke. My secret thoughts remained a secret.
As the internet evolved, now in my 40s, porn was a website away, without going into a store. Chat group apps were everywhere, and you could be somewhat anonymous with what you were in to. Lots of pictures, added to fantasies about being with a guy. Through one of these chat groups, I learned of a website that gay, bi and curious men use to connect locally.
It seemed pretty slow at first, but eventually seemed to pick up. The thought that a encounter could potentially happen, fueled more fantasies. A few guys reach out and ask what I was in to, however only a couple stick around to chat once I tell them that I had minimal experience from nearly 30 years ago. Still, a few nice guys helped keep my harmless fantasies going.
One afternoon I had a couple hours to kill, and went on the site to look around. I wasn't on long and I had a message. He looked at the basic profile I set up and seen that I was 48, curious with minimal experience.
- Hey bud, find any dick lately?
Well that's a direct way to ask, I think before replying,
- Not since I was 18, just really exploring fantasies.
I figure this would be enough for him to hear and move on, I was surprised when he continued to chat.
- Yeah, been 3 years for me, I'm missing cock. Are you married?
I quickly send a reply,
- Yes, you?
- Yes.
- Does yours know? Or would she freak out like mine?
- No, She'd definitely freak. I see you're 48, I'm a little older, are you okay with that?
We're only chatting, so it doesn't really matter to me. I look at his profile and see he's 59, not that bad.
- Yeah, I'm okay with that.
- Could you show me your dick?
Definitely right to the point, I figure why not and post a picture from my phone. He seemed to enjoy it, and we ended up swapping a few more pictures.
We would message back and forth for a few days, we seemed to get along well, but with the anonymous ways of the internet, you couldn't really tell how fake the other person could possibly be.
- What do you think about meeting up sometime to chat, no sex or anything, just talk. You seem pretty cool.
My heart races as nervousness creeps over me, then I figure as long as it was public, I shouldn't have to worry, so reply,
- Yeah, we can try sometime.
- Great bud, I think that'll be good. Meet in a store parking lot with lots of space to talk.
- We'll see what we can work out.
We go back to flirting and picture swapping for another couple days. I check on the weekend, and notice another message from him,
- I really hope we can meet to talk, no sex. Do you have any weekdays off?
- Actually I'm off Monday.
We chat a little more that day, making plans of a place to meet. I can almost read his excitement getting to meet up, and we pick a large parking lot, near where I had errands and where people won't likely walk by the car and hear us talk.
Monday, I messaged him I was heading out and what I drove, and he replied that he had a black SUV. After I parked in the middle of the lot, my nerves were a little worked up, but not bad. When I seen the black SUV crossing the lot, my nerves really started ramping up. We're only talking, nothing to get worked up over, I told myself, calming down a bit. As he parked beside me, he motioned to both vehicles, and I got out of my car, and walked over to his as though it was just a normal meetup.
As I slip into the passenger seat, my eyes are as active as my nerves, watching all the passer-bys. Although they weren't within 100 feet of us, they seemed so close.