*Disclaimer: The following is based on true events. Names, locations, etc have been updated for anonymity and privacy. Some details have been embellished to make a more compelling story and to reflect my personal preferences.
Hi, I'm Rob. Welcome to another chapter of a series I like to think of as journal entries, or confessions, based on my prior life as a total slut. None of these are intended to be read in any sort of numerical order.
While other stories I have planned for this series are highly raunchy, this one is a different approach. For the record, presently I'm a happily married man. This story recounts when I fell in love with a former coworker. I believe we can love multiple people throughout our lives, and this is one of those examples. This story will span multiple years, but condensed for readability.
I'll start with a brief description of myself to help in your visualizations. This story arcs between the ages of 20-27. I have dark brown hair, green eyes hidden behind glasses, gauged ears -- though not too large, and probably about a dozen tattoos scattered about my person including two half sleeves. I'm 5'9", about 150lbs, slim from biking and inner-city walking. I'm a gaymer and fairly nerdy, yet athletic.
I spent the summer of 2010, between my junior and senior years of college, in an internship writing blog posts for a think tank. It wasn't anything I was interested in, however, it was a way to get job experience and I had a family connection that got me the position. The office was located in the downtown area of a large city. I lived out in the suburbs. The commute sucked, but it was a paying job at least. It was interesting to learn about public policy and the politics of it all.
I was one of a dozen interns. Others were also writers and researchers while some handled more administrative tasks that helped to run the non-profit organization. We were all either current students or those who had recently graduated. I'm a very social person so it was fun to have a group of folks to chat with during the day or go out for happy hours.
As far as I could tell, I was the only gay person in the group. Many of the interns also seemed to be on the more conservative side of politics. I didn't know enough about it to be able to talk about that sort of stuff, but at least everyone accepted me as gay. It was 2010 and younger people, especially in a large city, were so much more accepting of the LGBT community.
Where I stood out from this group of white, young Republicans as a gay man, another intern was also unique. Karim stood out for a couple of reasons. He was older, a graduate student, and about 25 years old. He also happened to be Iranian. I believe he was the first generation, born in the United States, but his parents had emigrated. I didn't grow up around a lot of racial diversity, so it was also fascinating to meet people of different backgrounds.
Karim was charismatic, gregarious, and intelligent. He had tan skin the color of light caramel, a gift from his heritage. He kept his dark black hair cropped short. His face was both handsome and kind, with a strong cleft chin and always a hint of dark stubble. His beautiful brown eyes and smile could light up any room. Instantly you wanted to know more about him.
He was tall, close to 6'. I never saw him in casual clothes, but I had a sense from him that he kept himself in great shape. The only unfortunate side to him was that he was a Republican, oh, and straight. At this point in my life, I'd only been out of the closet for a little over a year and I wasn't about to go seducing straight Republicans. Truthfully, I was initially quite shy and nervous around him.
He had that typical straight guy habit of calling everyone by their last name. I'm sure he was perceptive enough to pick up on my timidity, so he took it a step further with me by turning it almost into a sort of nickname. Smith became Smithers. The irony here was not lost on me. Smithers, a gay man, in love with his boss, is a straight man. I highly doubt this was intentional on Karim's part.
Throughout that summer, my shyness melted away and I became friends with everyone, including Karim. Come August, we all exchanged numbers and emails with strong promises to get together again after we all returned to our respective universities. On our final day as a group, I thought this was the last time I would ever see Karim. We weren't so close that I expected we would reconnect.
We all moved on. I finished up my last year of college and graduated. I moved into the nearby city and got a job working for an advertising agency. As I had done with the other interns, Karim and I became friends on Facebook. He was never particularly active on there, but I always saw him interact with my various posts and milestones. The only thing I ever saw from him was some post about moving out west to California.
It wasn't until 2015 that I had any direct contact with Karim. It had been an incredibly tough year for me. My dog died, I lost my job, and the guy I'd been dating dumped me. Tough seems like a polite word to describe it. Even after all this, walking one of the quieter city streets, some douche bag hollered "Fag!" at me from a moving car. Safe to say I was feeling rather defeated. I took to Facebook, posting about my struggles and asking for cheerfulness. Many people commented with pictures of their pets, which always helped.
Later that day, I received a text from Karim.
Karim: Hey buddy, hope you're doing alright. I'm sorry things have been so shitty for you. I hope this helps!
Following the text, Karim had included a selfie with some crazy face and a thumbs up. I'll admit, it did make me smile.
Me: Haha! That's a cute look on you, made me laugh
Karim: Good! Otherwise, I'd have to fly out there and cheer you up in person
Me: Ah, I wish! I could use a friend and a hug
Karim: (-:
He didn't respond again after the smiley face emoji and neither did I. If anything, I was just surprised to hear from him after so long. As much as his silly picture made me laugh, it reminded me of just how handsome he was. Our messaging, albeit brief, even made me miss him a little. I remembered how kind he always was and how friendly he came across.
The next morning, I decided to message him again. It was nice having someone to talk to.
Me: Hey! Thanks again for reaching out yesterday, it meant a lot to me
I had hoped for an immediate response, but then I remembered I'm on East Coast time and he lives in California. It was a Saturday, and I highly doubted he would be awake at 6:30 am. Fifteen minutes later, however, he proved me wrong.
Karim: Good morning! You're very welcome
Me: It was nice having a reason to smile :)
Karim: Good! Show me :)
Wait, what? He wants me to send a picture of myself? Why? I know he's very friendly and all, is that what this is?
Me: No way! I'm still in bed, don't judge, and I probably look a mess
Karim: Pssh, I don't believe you
Okay, I'll do it. What's the worst that could happen? I set my glasses on the bedside table and snapped a picture of myself with a fairly weak smile. I hit send.
Me: Not much to look at, but here I am
Karim: It's cute! Don't sell yourself short :)
Me: What're you doing up so early anyway?
Karim: Oh I go to the gym first thing, it's a lot quieter and I like having the space to myself
Me: Yeah that makes sense, enjoy your workout!
Karim: Thank you, sir! Have a great day :)
He sure liked to send a lot of smiley faces. I think that's what made him so easy to talk to, even if virtually. I'd missed having this kind of connection with someone, with anyone. I was still feeling the heartache from my last boyfriend, and this sort of attention was welcomed. I had to remind myself, however, that Karim was straight and lived on the other side of the country.
We continued our casual conversations almost daily. I was working a boring temp job while seeking out more meaningful employment so his messages certainly helped the days go by faster. By our second month of chatting, our text conversations had a bit more sustenance. It resulted in a growing friendship. For me, stupidly, it also resulted in a growing fondness and attraction. I didn't dare admit this to him. Our friendship meant too much to me to risk jeopardizing it. The more we messaged, the more I longed for Karim.
