NOW
There I sat staring so dejectedly at my mother's grave. I had needed to get away from everything and everyone, all they seemed to what to talk about was my fathers new bride, thus their new queen and potentially my new step mother! I had to get away from the jovial scene the castle reflected with its wedding decorations. It sickened me my mothers body had barely cooled before my father had rushed out to find himself her replacement. Well, that wasn't exactly true my rational side argued, it had been a whole year since my mother had died of consumption. And longer since that my father had even smiled, when the disease had begun to lay siege and her condition worsened the spark, that vitality that had been apart of him had slowly faded, leaving a hollow shell in its wake.
Since my fathers courtship of Jasmine he had a new spring in his step and that spark had returned. It just all seemed too soon, how could he move on so quickly? My mother had been the love of his life, his everything, his sole purpose for living and now she was no more than a distant memory.
It had been months since my father had deigned to grace his wife's grave with his presence. A bitterness that was so new consumed me, when I saw the weeds that had begun to grow around her tombstone after months of neglect. "How could he do this to you" I cried pain shredding my heart, hot tears flowed down my cheeks, as I thought bitterly that the only reason he gave my mother even a passing thought was because I looked so much like her. She had given me her thick black hair that I found would curl just like hers if I allowed it to get too long. Right now in its short state where it covered my ears and constantly got into my eyes it had a more wavy quality. I had her eyes, wide expressive green eyes and her red full lips that always seemed to pout. I had always thought it ridiculous for a man to have such feminine features and had wished to have the ruggedly handsome features that my father had, a chiseled jaw and cheeks, a full lower lip a strong brow and hair that adorned his face signifying that he was a man.
However now that my mother lays still in the frigid earth I find myself thanking God that I was blessed to look this way. Its been so hard to remember her laugh or how her voice sounded when she spoke, it scares me that I feel her fading from my memory. At least this way I'll never forget what she looked like or what her smile was like, although I have had seldom little to rejoice. I shivered as the first snow flakes of winter had begun to fall, I clutched my velvet cloak around me to keep in what little warmth there was. Winter, it reminded me of her. When I was born the only difference between my mother and I was that where her skin was olive and looked as though permanently kissed my the sun., I was white not sickly more like the color of fresh milk or cream. Or as white as snow as she used to say and thus snow white became her pet name for me, in fact it suited me so well that only the peasants referred to my as Prince Caspian to every one else I was fondly called Snow.
Snow. It hurt to hear the name spoken on the lips of others when the giver had been so cruelly taken from me. I shivered again as the wind whipped viciously against my skin I detested the thought of going back to the castle but father would no doubt become frantic at my disappearance. I sighed as I stood up my limbs were stiff from the cold and inactivity, with one last look at my mothers grave I walked towards my black mare that had been grazing peacefully mounted her and took off at a fast gallop towards the castle.
AT THAT VERY MOMENT
"Where could he be?" Saul wondered as he paced nervously across the floor in his private chambers. It was so unlike Snow to just disappear like this without at least telling someone where he planned to be. He hadn't even bothered to take his personal guard with him! How could he be so reckless as if I haven't lost enough already, Snow is the last thing that binds me to Maria and he wont even take the proper precautions to ensure his own safety. At the mere mention of his beloved's name Saul's heart constricted painfully in his chest, no no no he thought to himself I cant wallow in self misery I cant lapse into a depression of what once was, for what can no longer be. No I have a duty to my kingdom to be a strong king, I have an obligation to give them a new queen. I have to ensure that heaven forbid that if anything happened to Snow there would be another heir to take the throne and rule my kingdom long after I am gone.
Saul understood that in light of the current festivities that Snow was having a particularly hard time dealing with the death of his mother. He'd have to be completely cold hearted and obtuse not to see how this would affect his son, it had been a hard year for them of that there was no doubt. But Snow would have to come to terms with the fact that as king and as a potential king duty had to come first no matter how much it weighed upon his heart, the people and the good of the kingdom come first.
Looking out the window Saul saw the first flakes of winter begin to descend from the heavens and settle upon the ground. "Maria, Maria I beg you forgive me what am I to do?" came his whispered heart-stricken pleas. So consumed by his thoughts he barely registered the fact that his son stood before him cheeks flushed, hair slightly damp with moisture staring at his feet until he nervously cleared his throat in an attempt to gain his attention.
"Come here to me" came the gruff barely audible voice of the king as he moved to embrace his son. "No one will ever be able to replace your mother remember that. When I become preoccupied with other matters, when I have to divide my time between you and Jasmine remember that you are the most important thing in the world to me. Promise me you'll remember what I've said. Promise me" Saul begged his son as he clutched his shoulders and looked into familiar emerald eyes that gleamed with unshed tears. "I promise" came the reply thick with emotion "I promise father".
