Welcome to another chapter of this silly thing. I think our hero could stand to get his dick wet this time around.
Tabletops and Tablebottoms, 2: Barebacking the Bard
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Apprentice! Beware the bard, who kills not with a sword but with a silver tongue, and whose occultist magics are meant to befuddle, distract, and delude. He is a traitorous one, a seductive one, and if you are not wary, you will be begging him to take your coin purse, or worse still: something even more precious than gold...
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The capital city, one of the biggest on the continent, had promised a great wealth of entertainment, and you are pleased to learn that it delivered in droves. Arriving at the entertainment district just outside of the nearby market, you become somewhat more alert. The night is still in full, colourful swing, even though you are convinced it's at least midnight. What kind of a place was this that didn't sleep at night, but in the morning? Perhaps, you surmise, that that's just the nature of this district, somewhat seedier than the rest.
Following the friendly bellowing of sign-spinners, each enticing you to come visit their establishment, you keep an eye peeled for something different. Something that promised more than a short, good time. That was when you happened across a modestly-sized bar at the corner of an alleyway: The Pink Orchid. Lewd! But what really drew your eye was a gaily-dressed man out front, soliciting passersby.
"Tonight only," he says, his grin hazy and wide. "A performance you won't want to miss! From the wild lands of the Golden Road, Zinnian the Magnificent is here at the Pink Orchid for tonight only." That all flew by you, save for a snippet: "generous tippers may meet the man in the flesh." That sounds promising. So you enter the Pink Orchid, full of expectation.
Flatly disappointed at the everyday--and honestly, kind of dumpy--interior, you try to find a table. In the middle of the bar, you saw that the centre had been cleared away, and gauzy bolts of a shimmering purple fabric had been hung from the ceiling. Burning frankincense gave the room a mysterious, exotic air. All the tables had been pushed to the walls, leaving a wide berth for the stage in the centre.
And yet surprisingly, this place was packed! Whoever this Magnificent was, he commanded a crowd. You buy yourself a pint of the watered-down grog and, navigating the maze of smoke, you stand in the pit, waiting for something to happen. Before long, the growing crowd--of almost exclusively men, you note--begins a tentative applause. Then they burst into a full cheer, and you crane your head around this bar to try and find what was going on. Men pounded their fists upon their tables, clinking their pints together, and shaking each other in palpable anticipation. What did you just walk into?
You see him then, emerging from a short, somewhat-concealed walkway from beyond the stage. A figure shorter than your average man strode into the clearing carrying one of his land's curiously short, bulbous guitars. He was an elf; you see that his long, curiously pointed ears were decorated with earrings, jewels, and golden sheaths. Long brown curls tumbled to the middle of his back. A very pretty elf, you decide.
You blush when you notice that besides his many gilded accessories, he wore little, and his clothes were made of the same, translucent fabric the curtains were. So little was left to the imagination. He carries himself with the coy panache of a courtesan, his hips swinging slightly as he goes.
He stares deeply into the eyes of the cheering men as he walks past, though his face is veiled by a jingling mask of hammered gold coins. He plucks guitar strings at random as he walks, and circles his gauzy purple stage in a slow rotation. Every man he aims a swing of his hips at lets out a raucous roar.
You feel yourself become hot. A distant thrumming of something like a thousand bees presses against your skull. You stare at this man, this Zinnian the Magnificent, with the goggling eyes of a teenage boy. That's when you realise that the pressure in your ears is desire. You suddenly want to know everything about him. What he ate, what his day was like, what he believed...what he felt like--
You brush away the strange thought, chiding yourself for thinking it. He's just a performer! This is what they were paid to do! Right? He comes to a stop in the very centre stage and begins plucking a few pensive notes of a hazy, exotic melody. Ghostly percussion accompanies him from somewhere in the dark. The cheering becomes hushed, the bar becomes still. And he begins to play his song.
You couldn't understand a single word, but his rich, throaty voice lets loose a plaintive melody into the air. The men are entranced. So are you. The expression on his face changes between pained to lascivious as he sang; as if his torture were so exquisite. You feel that pounding in your ears as his voice drifts in and out of your very soul.
Without realising it, you push yourself into the throng of men and now stand at the edge of the stage. No one minds much as the elven performer struts around in a seductively languorous way. And when you arrive there, you see yourself reaching out to him. With some gold pieces in your hand.
He scans you with his green, fox-like eyes, and bends down to take them. Your hands brush together, and his was calloused, but soft. He lingers on yours for just a moment, but it feels like forever. Eventually, his performance ends to thunderous applause. Men throw coins and even flowers onstage as he bows. Still, he remains unreadable under that golden mask. Someone from the crowd claps your shoulders in triumph.