Dear Richard,
I am so happy to hear that moving into the city has been going smoothly for you so far. While it does pain me that you could not make the time for us to meet before you left, I do understand that an opportunity like this is one that must be swiftly taken advantage of. If your schedule permits it, I would like for us to arrange a time when I may come to see you and Jane, though I also understand if your work has made you too busy.
However, even if your job proves too burdensome for us to meet, I want to remind you of the benefits of staying in a city. As someone who has lived in an urban setting before, my recommendation is for you to explore. The people there are of such extraordinary variety, with stories and lifestyles so unlike our own. Just getting to know what your 'neighborhood' is like becomes an adventure in itself. So, don't hesitate to take a stroll and talk with an idle stranger or two, or offer some help to anyone who may look like they need it. That was how I met my friend and learned his story. Perhaps you will meet a few people that you will grow fond of as well.
In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck with your work, and I simply can't wait for when we next meet. Say hello to Jane for me!
Sincerely,
Clarence
Richard, having finished the letter, carefully folded it back into the delicately opened envelope. He sighed, momentarily wondering if he should burn it, before resolving himself to reply with a decline of his friend's request tomorrow. He was about to go to bed anyway, and he will need the rest and time to think on how he could reject his friend politely and without suspicion. Clarence only knew part of why he had moved away after all, and it will not do for him to simply shut him out. Still, he needed to keep himself separated from him, and it would not be wise to give his fickle heart anyway to pine for him even more than it already has.
Setting the envelope down on the kitchen table, he made his way over to Jane, who was busying herself over a pot of boiling water on the battered black stove in the corner of their dimly lit apartment. Doing his best to relax his body and soak in the feeling, he hugged his wife around the middle as he brought himself close to her. Jane gasped and giggled affectionately as she felt her husband gently kiss her neck, "Wow Richie, I don't know what's got into you, but I must say, I wouldn't mind seeing this side of you more often."
"Well, it's just... lately it's been hard, to move out of our house, to come all the way out here. I'm going to start on my new job tomorrow, and I... I'm afraid. I've read as much as I could about law, but to actually practice it, for me, a farmer," Richard said soulfully, "I just need you to know how happy I am that you're here to take this leap with me, how grateful I am that you have faith in me. I love you so much Jane, and I will do all I can to not let you down."
Having finished with the potted water, Jane turned herself around to face her husband. She met Richard's lips with her own, and the two of them basked in each others warmth before breaking their kiss to stare into each others eyes. "You've done everything that you could to prepare yourself for this, you are as ready as anyone could be," she reassured him with a loving smile, "You can do this Richie, and I'll be there for you, through thick and thin. I can't wait to see where our new life takes us."
Richard grinned back at Jane, his eyes feeling a little wet. At that moment, everything felt so right, his entire being just permeating with contentment and joy. He was with her, both of them so very much in love, their hearts and minds united in their excitement for the future. Here in their cozy abode, with the noises of the street below humming distantly, the two feel like their in a world of their own, with no one and nothing but each other. It was all just so... perfect.
'So why? Why can't I feel more? Isn't this enough? Isn't this what love is, to give yourself over to her completely, to feel so at peace with her, to have our hearts beat as one? Have I not dug deep enough, shared enough, felt enough? Is there something beyond this perfect moment that I still have to grasp before I can finally... want her?'
Richard felt himself step back, breaking their tender embrace. Jane's smile faltered ever so slightly, her longing eyes now frantically searching her husband's face, wondering what had gone wrong. Richard kept his smile rigidly displayed, the magic of the moment they shared yielding to the darkness that was now rapidly seeping its way into his heart. "I've got to be out early tomorrow, so I should probably get to bed as soon as I can," he managed to muster in a relatively casual tone, "You know, can't be disappointing my boss on the first day."
"Oh... of course," Jane agreed, her wistful tone painfully indicative to Richard of her disappointment, "I'll... get your belongings ready for tomorrow, so don't worry about that. So... goodnight honey, see you in the morning"
Richard nodded before making his way to their humble little mattress situated in the corner of the room. Having already removed his day clothes, he gently laid down on his side under the worn sheets. Here, with his faced turned away from Jane, he began to feel the tears slide down his face. His hands clutched at the worn fabric around him as he curled himself up into a ball. His entire body, which only moments ago felt so light and happy, was now wracked with the usual thoughts of guilt, revulsion, and sorrow. He couldn't help but begin to long for Clarence again, wishing he was there to bring his mind the solace it so desperately craved. Suddenly, he found himself recalling those precious moments of closeness that he had shared with him, and Richard quickly redoubled his efforts to focus on those nebulous feelings of positivity. He could not let himself wander back to that place, that hidden recess of his psyche that his deviancy so reveled in. He forcefully flooded his head with what he needed to remember: he had just promised Jane, committed himself to her face, that he would not let her down.
It was about an hour later, after endlessly drilling that mantra into his brain over and over again, that an utterly exhausted Richard finally fell asleep.
***
Over a few city blocks away, by the polluted river cutting through the urban landscape, a man in a large trench coat, gleaming leather gloves, and a wide-brimmed hat scurried down the roughly-paved road. The hat was pulled low over most of the man's face, and what little that wasn't covered was masked by a handkerchief the man held over his mouth and nose. There wasn't a single patch of skin visible that could expose what the man looked like beneath all of his attire.
The mysterious man made a sharp turn away from the river and into a residential block. The neatly arranged, brick buildings contrasted sharply with the dense canopy of hanging clothes and sizable piles of rubbish. Now taking care to keep quiet, the man briefly surveyed his immediate surroundings before gently opening a door into one of the larger tenements. He began making his way up the stairwell, once again exercising immense caution as he made sure to take each step as silently as he could. The fact that the building's interior was nearly pitch black further encouraged him to move carefully. After several increasingly tiring minutes, the man, who had accumulated a substantial layer of sweat underneath all his apparel, finally reached the room he was looking for at the end of the dark hallway on the sixth floor. He lightly tapped the door as he whispered as clearly as he could, "It's me. The password's--"
A small commotion behind the door cuts him off. Light suddenly lit up the gap beneath the door before it swings open for the mysterious man to enter. Ducking beneath the door frame, he found himself inside the cozy interior of the apartment, which was bathed in dim orange candlelight and the potent scent of lavender water. Empty food cans littered the already messy floor, with a chaotic pile of worn newspapers stacked in one corner as well as a fat, dripping candle, a half full flask of aromatic liquid, a razor, and toothbrush situated in the other. Within the tiny square space, there remained two islands of cleanliness: a recently washed chamber pot placed right beneath the completely covered up window, and a mattress with a crisply folded set of blankets laid on top.
