Jay was scheduled to arrive later that night, and I was counting down the minutes.
I had written back to him, summarizing our new houseguest. On the one hand Lucy and Becca had a talent for finding out the truth, but that did not change the fact they were both self-centered thots.
'Lucy seems decent enough,' his reply was short and quick since he was texting while still on set. "If in doubt call 911."
'About our uninvited house guest or my terminally ill father?' There was no reply, at least not right away. I would have given anything for a 'lol' or even an emoji. 'Whatever.'
Throughout the day, my dad was still having seizures. These were times when his mind started to leave, only to be jolted back. At least he didn't appear to be in any pain.
Nurse Lucy had taken him to the garden to watch the butterflies and smoke weed while talking about the past. She coaxed out information that I hadn't even been aware of.
My father had suffered a stroke. He was put on blood thinners but that made the pain in his head so much worse. He'd been unable to write or draw or even think. And that was why he went off them, replacing them with a steady diet of narcotics.
Becca, still annoyingly pregnant, jumped on my back. "Are you spying on my girlfriend?"
"Your girlfriend with a medical degree?"
"Age ain't nothing but a number," she said, still on my back. She kissed my cheek and hopped off. "Have you heard of the movie 'Still Alice'?" Becca asked as she opened a box of protein bars.
"I think it was based on a book," I said, just as I heard a ping from my phone. Jay's flight was delayed due to an oncoming storm. No aircraft were permitted to leave, not even chartered flights on personal planes.
"Wow, impressive."
"I got to watch a lot of television."
"Living in your pimp's basement," she said with a nod.
I shoved her off, making sure she landed on her feet. "The book was written by an actual brain surgeon or something like that. What's your point?"
"Your father is sick, but he's not suffering."
"You think that's the only pinecone up my ass?" I immediately regretted my choice of metaphor.
She raised an eyebrow, "Gross."
"I'm sure you know a lot about that."
"Certainly, more than you know about your dad."
'Are you fucking kidding me?' My anger was boiling. She had no right. "He needs to be in a hospital."
"No one should have to die in a hospital." Becca handed me a bar and motioned for me to take a seat. "In the movie the lead character gives herself a series of questions to answer every morning. the day she can't is the day she knows her illness has won."
"Ok?" Was she seriously talking about medically induced suicide?
"My point is, only the patient gets to choose," she patted my hand.
"Well, that's not fair." My words made no sense. Unfair to whom?
Becca nodded, temporarily giving up on her attempt to educate me. "I'm going to get him back inside."
"Yeah, sure," I said from my seat. "That sounds like a plan." I watched as Becca joined them, talking and flirting with both my dad and Lucy. I'm sure they had sex. That seemed to be Lucy's main skill. but I was too preoccupied to give it much thought.
My phone continued to ping. Jay's flight was not leaving anytime soon. He was actively searching for alternate solutions. 'Fuck my life.'
That night my father had another episode and it was a bad one. I had heard the term violent seizure. I always pictured someone who looked to be choking on their own tongue. That's not what I saw. His entire body was struggling. His throat spasmed while his lungs forced themselves to try to remember how to breathe. He was covered in sweat.
Lucy positioned his body on the bed. "Let's give him a few minutes, see if it'll pass on its own."
'A seizure? Was she fucking insane?' Regardless of what my father wanted, Becca, Lucy and I agreed, that we needed to call 911. By the time the ambulance arrived My father had slipped into a coma.
I wanted to stay with him, but somehow Lucy managed to talk her way onto the ambulance, insisting on having Becca follow behind in one of her father's cars.
I almost didn't want to go. I stood, leaning against the door with my arms crossed. "I'm just staying here."
"Like hell you are." Becca, with a surprising amount if strength, forced me into the late-model BMW. By the time we arrived, he was given an IV line of wide-spectrum antibiotics for fever.
As his only family, I was given medical power of attorney. This amounted to me fielding questions while Lucy and Becca talked over me.
"There is a need for a decision." Tracheotomy or putting a tube down his throat. Apparently, those were my two choices, and I had to decide quickly since other means of oxygen delivery were not proving effective.
"I'll go with a trach," I replied forcing myself to choke back my tears. Apparently, I had overdone my attempt at confidence, resulting in the women glaring daggers at me.
"You'll go with a trach?" Lucy crossed her arms in disgust. "Would you like fries with that?"
I could not believe what I was hearing. "Fuck off, Becca!" I went with the option of cutting a hole in my father's throat because that would allow him to eventually go home. (Hopefully, maybe. I honestly had no idea.)
My father's hands were trembling. I wanted to reach for him, but I also urgently needed to not be in the same room as Becca.
I escaped to the hallway floor. In too much pain to stand, I sobbed, crying out any and all tears until I felt the strength to pick up my phone.
I knew what airport Jay was going to. or at least I thought I did. I took an Uber to JFK, paying way more than I should have.
I was using Jay's account, so at least I wouldn't get stranded.
'update: I got a flight into Portland.'
