Editor's note: this fictional work contains scenes of violence, fictional mind control, rough, reluctant, dubiously consensual, consensually non-consensual (CNC), or non-consensual sex or scenarios.
—
"I don't think we should do this anymore," I finally said out loud.
I kept my face turned to the passenger window, away from Jason. My bloodshot eyes followed the orange street lights as he drove us through the rain. They whipped by at a steady pace, like a clock, and it was hypnotic. Normally, I'd be zoned out, enjoying being stoned from the joint we were sharing, but the dread gripping my chest kept me in the moment.
The windows were cracked to let out the smoke. The wind and rain mixed with the music to make a sort of white noise. It was nice. Did he even hear me? Maybe this wasn't the right time to say what I just said. But we only saw each other at work or my apartment, to hook up, so I didn't have many options. I didn't want him in my apartment when I told him this because I was afraid of what he'd do. I just wanted out of that weird, scary, violent non-relationship as quickly as possible.
Jason was my boss. A 37-year old man with a good job, a mortgage, a beautiful wife, and two kids. A happy little life. The photo of his family on his desk flashed through my mind. The source of my guilt, jealousy, and shame. That's why I didn't want to do it anymore. And his drinking problem had been out of control.
I didn't find out about his drinking problem until a couple months into our hooking up. It was the worst night of my life...
...
I was home, still slightly wet from the shower, folding laundry on my bed, when I got a text from Jason.
// Jason: Coming
// Me: Huh? To my place?
It was late Friday night, bleeding into the next morning. I figured he'd be at home with his family. He called me. I picked up.
"Hey Henry, baby-y, yeah I'm comin' over right now, I'm -- about five, ten m-minutes away." He was clearly slurring his words.
Processing. Still stoned from the bong hit earlier. I managed, "You're driving here right now?" I ignored the part about him calling me baby for the first time. We'd only ever sucked and fucked to satisfy our urges. Our relationship at work was professional. He was an obviously straight man and no one questioned it. And there was never any real affection in our sweaty meetups. We'd never even kissed during one.
He said yeah, he was driving.
"You're driving drunk? Don't do that. Just pull over somewhere. I'll pick you up and bring you back here."
"Nah, I'm f-fine, I'm almost there." *burp* "Just have that ass ready, baby, 'cause I have a hard dick for you to take care of."
I felt my body heat up, as I thought about Jason's big cock.
Jason was a beautiful man. A real catch. Six-feet-two or three inches, masculine energy, thick and short black hair, handsome face with an aquiline nose, eternal five o'clock shadow, a muscular but pleasantly soft body, and wow, that cock. It was at least seven-and-a-half inches, and very thick. So thick that I'd never been able to take it up my ass without a LOT of lube and patience. But once it was in, god damn, that fat meat turned me into a bitch in heat. Sex with Jason was the best I'd ever had.
But the fact he was driving drunk threw cold water on my growing boner. A friend of mine was killed in a drunk-driving accident in high school. It wasn't his fault, he was hit by the drunk driver. I still miss him. I still remember the sounds his mom made at the funeral. There wasn't a dry eye. Even the priest wiped some away. I told myself I'd never drink and drive.
I controlled my voice, so there was no hint of arousal. "I'm not horny, but you can sleep it off here. I have to get up at eight for some errands, so we can't hang around all morning. I'll come out when you pull up. Be careful." I hung up before he responded.
I wasn't going to give him my ass after he drove here wasted and could've killed someone. Nah. We'd talk about it in the morning when he sobered up. I'd be nice about it, since he might have a problem. But this was also about him pulling up to my place, late at night, with no notice. That's the kind of shit couples could do -- and we weren't a couple.
I prepared my bedroom by putting the laundry away, and placing a trash can on the side of the bed he'd be sleeping on, in case he threw up. And a towel on the end table. "I swear to god, if this fucker pisses in my bed, I'll kick him in the nuts. I don't care if he fires me," I grumbled to myself. I was in a bad mood.
I heard knocks at the front door. It was only a few minutes since we had gotten the phone. Damn, he must've been driving fast. I unlocked the door and began to pull, and yelped in pain when it swung open and struck me hard in the face. I fell back on the ground and clutched my nose, feeling warm blood gushing out.
Jason emerged from the darkness, wearing the expression of a hungry wolf, eyes boring into me, and stepped through the door. "Did you hang up on me, you fucking faggot?" he asked slowly, in his rumbling voice.
He wasn't slurring his words anymore. His anger had sharpened his focus. I groaned and tried to talk through the blood and tears. "What the fuck?" was all I could get out. He kicked the door shut, slid the locks into place, and bent down to grab me by my shirt.