I think I noticed them coming in because most of those who had come to this book festival program were middle-aged women. There weren't too many men in the audience, and these were the only ones who clearly, at least to me, were a couple. They came in from the back of the room, on the other side of the seating area from where I sat on an outer aisle seat, not anxious to be recognized. The program was entitled "Spontaneity," which I was later to laugh about, and featured three books in which spontaneous action had been key in the plot line.
My eye immediately went to the younger of the two, the obvious submissive, although he wasn't really effeminate. It was just the way the two reacted to each other that told me the older man was the dominant. That always was included in my immediate assessments; I was a dominant.
The younger one was gorgeous--at least I thought so from the first glance. I saw them standing briefly before taking seats across the center aisle from me and one row up, the perfect spot for me to easily glance their way every few minutes or so. He was shorter and trimmer than the guy my mind was calling Daddy. I was struck by how tanned the younger one was and the grooming of his hair, a dark auburn, curly, and rising more on the top of his head and rather closely shaved on the sides. I only saw him full face in the moment when they turned to enter the row across the aisle, but he was movie-star gorgeous. He gave those who moved their feet to let the pair cross to the middle of the row a killer smile. They responded warmly. He was wearing form-fitting blue jeans, well worn, lighter at the knees and crotch that elsewhere, and a black Polo shirt, which, again showed off the curves of his body beautifully.
The older man--Daddy--was taller, more bulky, muscular. I wouldn't say he was good looking--not by any means--but he had a commanding presence. His hair was thinning on top and he probably would go to fat in the near future if he didn't keep up going to the gym. His muscularity indicated he still did go to the gym, though. He was probably about my age, looking at fifty in a couple of years. He had a bored look about him, except when he looked at the younger guy. His gaze then was proprietary. He didn't look all that happy to be here with his boy toy on display. The idea to come to this book festival program obviously had been the younger man's, who was looking around the room with interest. I willed him to look in my direction, but, if he had, it wasn't when I was looking. His daddy looked straight forward as if he wasn't at all comfortable sitting in a crowd of intent women with gray or graying hair.
I must admit that I didn't pay much attention to the program going on at the front of the room either. I tried, but I continually found myself glancing over at the younger man across the aisle. Not once did I see him look back at me, though. His attention seemed to be rivetted on what the three authors and the program moderator had to say about how spontaneity wormed its way through their very disparate books.
It was for that reason--that I hadn't caught the younger man looking behind him and across the aisle--that I was surprised when, as the question-and-answer session was over and we were moving into the book-signing phase, which was my signal to head for the back door, I heard my name called, turned, and found the man of my recent dreams standing in front of me.
"Mr. Sanderson? Neal Sanderson?" he asked.
"Yes, that's me," I said. "Have we met?" I added, aching to find that we did know each other, that I knew he was a gay submissive and that he, in turn, knew I was a gay dominant. As it turned out he had surmised that.
"You probably didn't see me, but I was in the program yesterday that you were on the panel for--the one called 'Strangers in Paradise.'"
"Ah, yes, thanks. That one was pretty crowded. No, I'm sorry I didn't see you there." He had no idea how sorry I was I hadn't seen him there. But that I hadn't had probably saved me from screwing up my presentation and had saved me a night of pining and speculation--a night I now probably would be having tonight. That panel was on the first day of the festival. I had a different book at a program on the last day, so I was staying the week. The program the previous day was more crowded than this one and included more men--more gay men. It did, I was sure because of my book. The program lumped together books on encounters of the protagonists on foreign vacations. My book was of a gay writer looking for encounters to write about, going to Bali to find them, and finding them there. The other books weren't gay books, but mine was and had attracted a somewhat different audience than most did at book festivals. Still, I thought I should have been able to pick this gorgeous man out of the crowd.
At least I didn't have to establish sexual preferences. There would be no dancing around that pole in this brief conversation.
"I'm Clay. Clay Adams," he said. "I've read all of your books. I loved your new one."
"Why, thank you, Clay," I said.
"How did you enjoy this program?" he asked. "The subject, Spontaneity, really appealed to me. I love being spontaneous. I get that from your books too--your characters act so casually and spontaneously. I really like that."
"Yes, well, they say that writers write best what they know best--what they are most like," I said. I was catching on. I recognized when someone was coming on to me. I looked around the room to see if I could see Daddy. He was standing over by the back door, looking a bit uncomfortable. But he wasn't looking at us. His loss. We were jostled by a couple of women trying to get past us to where they were selling books at the back of the room and I reached out and took Clay's forearm in mine to steady us both. He smiled at me. I didn't take my hand away and he showed no indication of wanting me too.
"I really would like to talk about this further with you," he said. "Are you at the book festival for much longer?"
"I have a program on the last day, so, yes, I'm here for the duration. Yes, we could meet and... talk... more, if you like."
"Are you staying near here?"
This program, indeed many of the programs, were being held in the conference rooms of this hotel. "Yes, I'm staying right here, at the Sheraton," I said. Would he, or wouldn't he?
He did.