His eyes were always so intense and I could still remember how it felt to be caught up in his scrutinizing gaze. It was as if he were a serpent and I was his prey and I could do nothing but accept my own demise. I couldn't remember a time where his eyes didn't have that affect on me. I almost felt as if they could control my every action; even remembering them felt dangerous. The younger man had a wild energy about him that drew me in, no matter how hard I tried to resist his advances. For a brief period, I was head over heels in love for the first time in my life but then it all came crashing down.
Alistar had come to me in the middle of the night, near crazed with how much energy he had. I'd never seen the younger man like that before, for though he was always lively, that night he seemed to lack all semblance of self-control. That evening he fucked me harder than he ever had before and he didn't let up for days. When it was finally over, and my body was spent and bruised, I found that his was tied to mine while his teeth clamped down hard on my neck, drawing blood. I ended up blacking out from the pain and when I woke up, Alistar was fully dressed, sitting across from me in the dark, just watching as I came to my senses. His eyes were guarded as he slowly explained to me that he was a werewolf and that he couldn't help but try to bond with me since he was in a rut. He didn't elaborate further nor did he apologize for the brutality of his actions, he simply explained them away. He came to me then and held me close, in an attempt to comfort me but I refused to give in too much and he noticed. I couldn't help it though, after such a brutal fucking, his actions felt false, mechanical eve. I wished he would leave instead. I'd never felt violated so thoroughly before and his actions made me not trust him.
We went to bed together but he was gone in the morning before I woke up, just as I asked, and he did not come back for four months. Even when I tried to reach out again, he refused to come back to the diner and I was forbidden from Shadow Pack land because I was a human. Three weeks later I got sick. At first I thought it was the flu but when I didn't get better the next week I began to worry something much more sinister was going on. Three weeks after that it hit me that I hadn't had my period in over a month. I was still terribly ill so I finally caved and went to see my doctor. It was there that my worst fears were confirmed. The werewolf I'd fallen for had used me to breed with. I was growing a monster inside of me.
In the beginning, that was truly how I felt. The foreign life that dwelled in my womb I had not asked for. It was nothing more than a parasite that was stealing my health, beauty and future. I wanted freedom and this.. thing was ruining my life! I wished to be rid of the evil little clump of cells and yet.. every time I tried to schedule an abortion I could not follow through. Some part of me could not accept this course of action, so instead, I let the tiny monster within eat away at my life.
I was completely bed ridden by the time I'd been pregnant for four months and, according to many doctors, I was dying. After that confirmation, my father took it upon himself to seek Alistar out and begged him to help me. The alpha did return but he wasn't the same man I knew. He was cold where he'd once been warm and affectionate and he was cruel where he had once been kind. When he touched me it felt like an obligation rather than something he wanted to do. The worst part was how cold he remained during sex but, surprisingly, this did not hurt me as much as I once would have thought. In fact, Alistar's presence was actually helping, even if he wished he could be anywhere else in the world. Eventually, I came to realize that his reason behind returning did not matter to me much. I could bare his regret so long as it meant that my child would live, for I had completely fallen in love with the little monster inside of me, entirely against my will.
After three full weeks of being in constant contact with the alpha, I could finally get out of bed on my own. That was the good news. Tragically, there was more bad news than good. The damage of not being with the alpha from the beginning of the pregnancy had already been done and as a result, I was extremely weak and susceptible to disease and infection. Though the alpha's presence helped a great deal, my organs were beginning to show signs of damage. I could still remember the way Alistar would pace angrily, debating with himself over how to save his "pup". We were both worried that my body would give up before I could safely give birth. We needed help or some kind of miracle. To my complete surprise, that miracle actually existed, though the price to save Adam's human life was costly. In fact, had I not already been willing to sacrifice my own life for my little monster, I never would have made that deal in the first place.
"This is dark magic. Are you sure you want to do this?" The woman's words rang throughout my head once more. I'd heard them over and over every day since the deal was made. It was the day a part of me died. A part of me that I had never knew existed, until it was time to sacrifice it.
What Adam didn't know, was that my son wasn't the only one with a beast inside of him. I too had once had another spirit dwelling inside of me. I didn't find out until I was on death's door and examined by a werewolf healer. It was then that I finally learned the truth about myself and my family history. The wolves were fascinated that I was still alive. To their research, my human body should have quit on me already. It was a marvel that I'd lasted this long. For that reason, they ran extensive tests on me and eventually, I was questioned about my family.
I wasn't much help in that department. All I knew was that my mother had several miscarriages before I came along. She eventually died during childbirth, just like my sibling she'd been trying to deliver, which was why I'd never wanted to have kids in the first place. From a young age it was just my dad and I and he treated me like a princess but he was the only family I had. The healer sent for him and he was questioned for an hour. I was then left alone for nearly twenty-four hours before I was finally told the whole truth.
I wasn't related to the only parents I'd ever known. I was adopted. My mother worked at the hospital and she found me there. I was left without a note or explanation. Desperate for a child, she took me in and my parents adopted me as their own. That part was the good part.
The rest of what I learned was devastating for me to deal with but at the time it barely registered, for I was too worried for my little monster to think of myself. It turned out that my real parents were once a part of Shadow Pack, though they were dead now. My mother was an omega named Georgiana Pike and she was often intimate with a beta named Ezekiel Habberforth. Georgiana had a difficult life growing up and was the daughter of a servant to the Shadow King Micheal Barron, while Habberforth was the the current King's second in command. Ezekiel had affairs with many Shadow omegas that served in the King's pack house and Georgiana was simply meant to be another notch on his belt.
Unfortunately, the beta recklessly impregnated her and they were forced to mate. She eventually gave birth to twins. During her pregnancy, it was known that her mate was not kind to her, and it resulted in the disability of one of her pups, that pup being me. Due to my disability, I was thrown out of the pack and labeled as useless. My birth mother made it several more years before she got pregnant again. The day she had my younger brother, a beta named Avery, was the day she died. So, I had a sister named Angelica that I never knew or met that looked similar to me, though not completely identical, as well as a younger brother that I'd also never met. I didn't know either of them existed until the werewolf healer discovered my history and I wasn't very interested in meeting them.
The healers proceeded to inform me that not only did I have living relatives that were wolves but also what had caused me to be born wrong. My birth father had kicked my mother's stomach during her pregnancy with me and my twin and the action was thought to have severed my connection with my wolf. I should have been born an omega but instead, I was born human, or so everyone thought. The real truth was, though I could never feel my connection to my wolf and I did not grow up under its influence, my omega side was simply weak and dormant, waiting for an alpha to wake it up. I learned that it was why I'd always felt so drawn to Alistar. His wolf was calling to mine from the very beginning. We just didn't know that.
Unluckily for me, when Alistar tried to claim me, I did not bite him back. I hadn't known how or that I should and I was completely put off by the action in the first place. It hurt too much to feel natural. As a result, rather than transform me when Alistar took me during his rut, I remained the same and then I fell pregnant. Because we weren't properly bonded, my body never changed or shifted to form a connection with my wolf in addition to the fact that I was also not connected to my alpha. My body had been able to contain my pregnancy because my wolf was still there but it was not equipped to handle what a powerful alpha my son was. I needed a different body for that; an omega's body.
The most devastating thing I discovered about all of this was how much Alistar already knew of my history before he pursued me. History I'd never been privy to before. The reason he'd pursued me in the first place was because he stopped in the diner one day and saw that I looked like the prettier version (his words) of the beta he was in a mating contract with. My twin sister, Angelica. He was also best friends with my brother, Avery. He'd always heard they had a missing sibling but failures weren't something Shadow Pack was meant to discuss. They simply pretended it never happened instead and moved on.
