The Twin

Author's Note:

My friend Antonio requested that I write a story about twins. I don't think this is exactly what he had in mind, but it's what I came up with. Please enjoy.

The Twin

What am I doing with my life? I live in a bubble. I work from home and I shop online... Nothing is real. Everything is Zoom this and Teams that... I live my life like I'm a character in a videogame - it's all on screen. My laptop, my iPad, my phone and my TV are all the gateway to my universe. My job and technology have allowed me to become a hermit. Growing up I was always shy and a little socially awkward. Combine that with the other ingredients of my hollow existence and the recipe is for reclusiveness. I am thirty-two years old and the last ten years have felt empty. Is this really all I want out of life?

I'm Ethan. Ten years ago I graduated from college and was offered a good IT job that paid well. It paid so well that I was able to get my own place at the young age of just twenty-two. I left my parent's house for college when I was eighteen and I never came back. As the company evolved its office space shrank as most roles, mine included, became remote. Today, career-wise, I'm thriving. Otherwise... Not so much.

At least I have a friend now. A year ago, a nice couple moved into the unit across from me. Like me, they seem to be early thirties-ish. I only met them because they knocked on my door and introduced themselves in a neighborly gesture. I was taken by surprise, but I managed to present myself enough as a functioning human that they invited me over for dinner the next night. Having read too many self-improvement books and believing that the power to change was mine, I accepted.

The wife, Natalie, was quietly sweet while her husband, Jeff, was loud, gregarious, even borderline obnoxious. Everything I never was. I guess opposites attract because I couldn't help but like him. We had vastly differing tastes in everything - music, movies, books, sports teams, TV shows...you name it. But debating with Jeff was never contentious. It was fun. He sparked something in me. He brought a fire out in me.

Natalie's job involved crazy long hours every week while Jeff was pretty much a 9 to 5 guy. Natalie worked late every Thursday and one or two other nights a week, depending on current deadlines and whatnot. It wasn't long before Jeff and I started having "Guys' Nights" regularly. He would come over to my place and we would alternate who would pick what we would watch. Whether it was sports, a movie or a show, I had the ability to stream anything streamable. We would play-argue and mock-fight over what was awesome and what was crap - there was no in between with us.

But it was all in fun. We were having a blast. I'd honestly never had a real friendship before and I was grateful that Jeff had insinuated himself into my life. Really, he bulldozed his way in. But for the first time ever, I had more than just work in my daily routine.

At first I hid the degree of my reclusiveness from Jeff. He'd ask me about dating and relationships and I gave him vague answers in response. Once he caught on, it was easy to blame working from home. He never pushed. This was the one thing he didn't tease me about. It was the elephant in the room that he was the sum total of my social life.

But realizing how easily incorporating a friendship with Jeff into my life was, I also began to wonder what other relationships I might be able to add. Maybe a date every now and then was doable. Maybe, eventually, a significant other. Afterall, I was kind of transforming into a different person. Thanks to Jeff, but still. Maybe if my dates were double dates with him and Natalie... I am a realist. I may be functional but not cocky. I may have learned some new tricks, but I'm still me.

How would I even begin? Where would I start? Despite my friendship with Jeff, I was still kind of a recluse, rarely leaving my apartment. Guys' Night was always a "stay-in" thing. I had no chance of meeting anyone if I didn't make any significant changes in how I was living my life. But what would that mean? Go to a bar? Sign up with a dating service? Maybe Jeff and Natalie knew someone they could set me up with. Two couples. Fun.

But before I could ask Jeff to set me up with someone, I had to explain to him who I was looking for. I had to tell him I was gay. Having been a loner my whole life, my sexuality had not factored into anything. It was kind of irrelevant. At the very least, it was dormant. But now? It was waking up.

So I told Jeff. I'd never "come out" to anyone before; not in my whole life. No one in college or high school, not even to my parents. I didn't think Jeff would have a problem with it, he'd never given me a reason to suspect he might, but for just a few days, things between us felt weird. He immediately informed me that he knew no gay dudes and he'd love to help me out but he couldn't. For just a few days, he was a little less jokey and laughy with me. He still came over for Guys' Night, it was just a low key version.

But then the next week, something weird happened. In all of the months of our friendship, we'd never had the occasion for physical contact. We shook hands the day we met, but that had been it. Until now. We were watching a baseball game and as usual, he was trash-talking my team as I was his and suddenly his elbow was jabbing me in the ribs. We had always maintained a respectable personal space on opposite ends of the couch before. I hadn't even realized on this occasion when that space had disappeared. And when his elbow made contact with my ribs, I jumped and yelped. Not because he hurt me. No. The opposite. He found a sensitive spot and it tickled.

Jeff was a solid six feet tall and a sturdy 180 pounds. He was not at all flabby; he had a solid build. And I couldn't help noticing that his bulge was appropriately below his belt, not above. Like his personality, his physical presence filled the room. He had dark brown hair that, save for some loose hanging stragglers, was usually swept back. His eyes were green. I could see why Natalie would be attracted to him. Most women would be. Probably a fair mount of men too. Maybe even me. But I wouldn't ever allow myself to think about that because Jeff was married to my neighbor and new friend Natalie. So Jeff was just Jeff - my friend.

But when he saw my flinch and heard my yelp, a little smile played across his lips. Like he just learned a secret. From that night on, discrete contact was a regular thing. Shoulder bumps, knee knocks, more elbows in ribs, thigh-to-thigh proximity on the couch, fist-bumps and back-slaps... All initiated by him. I never had many friends and growing up I was an only child. Was this all normal behavior? Guys messing around? I had nothing to compare it to.

One time we were stupidly arguing over superheroes and in the heat of the moment he wrestled me down to the floor. Again, it was all just goofing around - nothing violent or serious. At 5' 9" and 145 pounds, I was no match for his build. But as he laid on top of me, weighing me down, he held me there, motionless for an uncomfortably long minute. He held my wrists above my head, pinned down with just one hand. His other hand groped under my shirt and found the skin of my stomach. I never even knew I was ticklish before I met Jeff. He prodded and poked while I thrashed and screamed. But just for a few seconds. Those seconds were enough for my dick to stiffen in my sweatpants and press against his thigh. Our noses were only an inch apart. Then half of an inch.

I didn't want to, but I had to. I turned away. He's married. I would sooner sacrifice Guys' Night and give up my friendship than do that to Natalie. Plus, was Jeff...? What? Bi? Pan? Gay but closeted? I really didn't know. He hadn't said and I hadn't asked. But in that brief wrestling moment, I was not the only one with something stiff between his legs pressing against the other dude's thigh. I reluctantly rolled out from under him. And he let me. Nothing so physical happened between us again. That was a month ago.

Today, I'm doing my work in my apartment when I hear a mini commotion in the hallway. Eventually there is a knock at my door. I swing it open and there's Jeff. We hadn't seen much of each other in the last few weeks since the incident.

Jeff offers me his hand and says, "Ethan, right? I'm Michael. Jeff's brother." We shake. "I need to borrow your key to their place. I left mine inside on the counter and I have to get in there before the cat, the bird and the fish all starve."

I shake my head, but I'm smiling, "Jeff, what are you doing?"

He doesn't smile back, "Did he not mention that we're twins? He always did shit like that when we were kids too. He like messing with people. Getting a reaction out of them."

I regard Jeff. What game is he playing. Is he literally trying to reinvent himself?

"He told you about their trip, right?"

He didn't. I shake my head, curious to see where this is headed.

"He and Natalie are on vacation. They went to Hawaii for ten days. Just left this morning. Jeff dropped off keys with me yesterday. I only live an hour away, but with how frequently those damn pets of theirs need feeding and ass wiping and whatever, it was just easier for me to stay here for the week and drive a little further to work every day. But it seems I left the keys I'm not used to having on the kitchen counter when I left this morning."

He is not wearing clothes I've ever seen him in before and his hair is a little shorter. Both are easy changes. I stare at him skeptically.

He sighs and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket. He removes his Driver's License and hands it to me. It is in fact a valid Ohio license that does not expire for another year. The picture is of the man standing before me. His name is Michael J Maddon. His address is local, but not this building. Maybe he is telling me the truth.

"If you just let me in, I'll show you the keys I left on the counter."

Jeff and Natalie gave me a set of their keys months ago as a precaution. I did the same out of a sense of reciprocity, but I rarely leave the building and will never need them. But back to Jeff. Or Jeff's lookalike. The man has valid identification. I guess Jeff really has a twin and he never told me. He also didn't tell me that he and Natalie were going on vacation. In fairness, he hasn't told me much of anything in recent weeks as we've hardly spoken since the night he wrestled me to the floor, tickled my stomach and almost kissed me as we both had erections pressing into each other's thighs. It's the understatement of the millennium to say things have been awkward between us. Mostly, things have been nonexistent between us.

Michael looks like he's just getting off of work. He's wearing creased beige khakis, a purple polo shirt and a brown leather messenger bag across his shoulder. What doesn't fit with the ensemble is the pair of shiny new DC high-tops on his feet. Noticing where my eyes stopped he wiggles his toes in his sneakers, "For the streets." He opens his bag to me, revealing a pair of modestly worn brown loafers inside. There's nothing else in the bag - just his shoes. I'm not sure why, but I'm smiling at him. I'm also glad that I put on jeans today. Working from home and only seen by others on my laptop, I only need to be presentable from the chest up. It's not unusual that I would wear old ratty sweats or even shorts.

I slip into my VANS, "I'll get the key."

We can hear the cat meowing from the other side of the door. It must be his dinnertime if not past. Michael drops his bag on the dining table and refills the hangry animal's food bowl to stop what had turned into screaming. The sudden silence is deafening. He glances around, points and picks up the set of keys left on the counter right where he said they'd be.

"Thanks for saving the cat from imminent starvation," he grins at me.

His grin makes me blush. I've never let myself think about how good looking of a dude Jeff really is because he's married to Natalie. But now, with his mirror image standing before me, I must admit...he's fucking hot.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around throughout the week."

Unlikely. Unless he keeps locking himself out and subsequently knocking on my door to keep the cat from starving to death. I just nod politely and turn to leave.

"Hey, Ethan."

I stop and turn back.

"I don't know anyone on this side of town. Do you have plans tonight? Are you free to hang out? At the very least, I owe you dinner for coming to my rescue."

Tonight was supposed to be one of our Guys' Nights, but we've missed the last several. Despite having been alone for most of a decade before my friendship with Jeff, I've been lonely these last few weeks. And Michael seems harmless. Really, really hot and harmless.

"I wouldn't want you feeling indebted to me."

He smiles, "No. I like to pay my debts."

I feel a tingle roll down to my toes. "How about you order a pizza and we eat it at my place. We can find a movie or something to watch. The Reds are playing the Mets tonight if you prefer."

"The ballgame sounds great. You'll see me and a pizza in an hour."

"Don't forget your keys this time. If I have to come to your rescue again, then you'll be in my debt again."

"Maybe I like being rescued. And I enjoy repaying debts. It's way better than sitting alone across the hall being stared at by a suspicious cat."

Is he flirting with me? Jeff could have told him that I'm gay. But odds are that he's not, so why flirt? Is he teasing me? Feeling my cheeks flush again, I ask, "Why is the cat suspicious?"

"He knows I look like his owner but he knows I'm not him. I think he thinks I murdered Jeff and Natalie and I'm stealing their lives."

I snort. "You give him too much credit."

"I'm right to be suspicious of him. He might try to kill me in my sleep."

~~

Two hours later, the pizza is almost gone and the Reds are down big in the third inning. Michael and I hardly notice though because we've been interviewing each other and lost in conversation. I've been learning more about Jeff's family and childhood from Michael in one night than Jeff ever told me in a year.

I ask him, "What's it like having an identical twin?"

"You love it and you hate it."

"What did you love about it?"

"Your best friend is always with you."

"What did you hate?"

"Your best friend is

always

with you."

I laugh.

"When we were kids we were always messing with people. Pretending to be the other one, especially if one of us was in trouble. We would dream of committing crimes and neither of us getting convicted because no one would be able to prove which one of us did it."

I snort again.

"Dumb kid stuff."

"Do you two ever get mad at each other?"

"Duh. My brother can be an idiot." His smile fades. "Actually, I'm the one who screwed up the biggest one time and he almost never forgave me. We were eighteen, seniors in high school. I was on the basketball team and he played tennis. They ran opposite seasons. I wasn't into dating yet, but he was and he had a girlfriend, Emma. Emma came by the house one day when Jeff was at practice and I was home alone. I explained the situation and she asked if she could wait here. I said, sure, and invited her in. I went back to reading my book on the couch. She didn't take the empty chair in the room, she sat on the couch next to me. Like we are now, except like this."

He scoots closer to me in demonstration. He slides all the way next to me so our thighs are touching. It feels like my heart stops beating as we sit like this for a moment.

"I moved over as much as I could, like it was my mistake. I even turned and planted my feet on the cushion making a wall between us with my shins." He demonstrates again by turning me 90 degrees with his hands on my shoulders and he lifts my legs and puts my feet on the couch. He continues, "Then she started to finger-draw on the top of my foot through my sock." He draws patterns on my foot and I buzz from his touch. My heart stops again.

He says, "I swallowed and said to her, 'You know my name is Michael, right?' She thought that was funny. She said she knew exactly who I was. She lifted my left foot and placed it in her lap."

He lifts my left foot and places it in his lap.

"She began to massage my foot."

He rubs my foot and my body turns to jelly.

"Suddenly, my sock was ripped off and I was holding onto the couch cushion for dear life as she gently stroked her fingernails up and down my arch. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Can you imagine?"

I can imagine. I can imagine because exactly that is happening to me right now as he continues to act out the scene in exact detail. And I too am grasping onto the couch cushion for dear life because my suddenly sockless foot is at his complete mercy.

"Then she casted my foot aside."

He does the same.

"She crawled on top of me."

He looms overhead, almost no space between us.

"One hand went under my shirt."

His right hand finds the opening between my shirt and my jeans and explores its way up my side, across my ribs and comes to a rest in my armpit.

"And her tongue went in my ear."

Instead of taking the full plunge, he grazes my right ear with his stubbly cheek and gives my earlobe a quick nibble. I find myself covered in goosebumps, this time from head to toe. I'm glad I'm wearing jeans instead of sweats because they are helping to conceal my raging erection. Just as I'm wondering what happens next, he unexpectedly eases off of me.

"And then Jeff walked in the door." He picks my left foot back up, finds my discarded sock and gently (almost tenderly) redressed my foot. "He was crushed. Betrayed by both of the most important people in his life."

"She was the instigator. You were kind of an innocent victim," I say, feeling a little like a victim myself right now, though not upset about it. "I mean, if up to you, it wouldn't have happened at all."

"True. And that's why he eventually forgave me, but it took a month." He shakes his head, "It was worse because I wasn't even..."

"You mean you weren't into dating yet? So what. You were eighteen. Emotions and hormones are hard to understand. You let something happen in the heat of the moment."

"Yeah. That's not why though. I..." He takes a breath. My sock is back on, but he keeps hold of my foot. "I especially had no business messing around with his girlfriend because it was just a few months before the incident that I... On our eighteenth birthday, I told my twin brother than I'm gay."

My eyes widen.

"Not so identical after all."

Well, unbeknownst to Michael, but very much known to me, his twin brother Jeff is at least bicurious. At least. But that's not my place to say.

He gives my foot a squeeze and looks at me sheepishly, "Jeff told me..." he trails off.

I have a moment of indignance, "He told you what?"

"He meant no harm. He only knows two gay people in his whole world. It's like he thinks we're in the same club or something. He just wanted me to know it."

"Why?"

"I'm socially challenged."

I snort for the third time today, "Bullshit. He told you about me because he thought I never would. I'm the one who's socially challenged. I'm the shut-in. I'm the hermit. Not you."

Michael looks down at his feet, "Only Jeff truly knows his motivation."

And that's when it hits me. "This was all an act. The whole locking yourself out thing was all for show. The key you showed me was probably my apartment key that Jeff keeps. You had his key in your pocket the whole time. This was all a set-up."

He sighs, "Let's play Two Truths and a Lie. Lie - Fine. I wasn't really locked out. Truth - I really don't know anyone on this side of town and could use a friend to hang out with. Truth - The pizza is long gone, but I'm still here. I'm still here because I genuinely like you, regardless of whatever pretense got the ball rolling."