Even without the interpretations of Messrs. Bellingwood and Phillips, I would have quickly discerned that Fred Stimson was a closeted homosexual when he arrived at college. Within the first ten pages he had described his earliest sexual fantasies and experiences. All involved males. After twenty pages it was clear that he had never had anything resembling sexual contact with a female. The only interest he showed at all was intellectual curiosity about pussy, which he referred to as cunt in what could only be interpreted as a derogatory manner. One of the possibilities I had considered when I first learned about the founding of the AOK brotherhood was that Fred was gay and using the excuse of no available women to coerce men into having sex with him. His first detailed description of a sexual encounter did not support the coercion theory. I was captivated as I read his words:
"I had been at college for almost five weeks. During that time I had become increasingly anxious. I might well have blamed my anxiety on my studies. But in truth, I had no problem with the academic workload. It was indeed quite the opposite, when studying my frets seems to evaporate. The unease increased when my mind was not at work. I quickly realized that it was my body that was the main culprit causing my increasingly difficult condition. I suppose this point was best driven home to me after my thrice weekly physical education class.
Using the locker room with so many handsome young men was a kind of torture for me. Though as I have written, I was no stranger to the pleasures of cock, I had never before imagined such a variety and abundance of the male organ. I learned that mature young men are far less modest and protective of their privacy than I was accustomed to with my former schoolmates. Most of my new classmates walk about freely in the nude while in the locker room. In addition, the showers are an open affair, where everyone's body is on display, cocks, asses and all. I have even glimpsed a number of them unashamedly washing themselves while semi-erect.
I suppose that incidental arousal is to be expected considering that release is hard to manage in the college living environment. There are no female students and few available local women here for those that would chose to partake in cunt. I understand some visit prostitutes on the weekend in a nearby town. But few can afford such luxuries. For those of my tastes, if in fact there are others with my tastes here, it is difficult at best to know who or how to approach a potential partner. That leaves masturbation as the most likely method for obtaining release.
I unlike many men do not profess distaste for self-pleasuring. However, privacy is at a premium here. Since there are no women on campus, other than a few secretaries, there is little need for even ordinary provisions for modesty. In the dormitories we share rooms, showers and even toilet facilities. I personally am not brave enough to masturbate in the woods as I hear some students resort to doing. Unlike my roommate I can not bring myself to try it while he sleeps across the room, even though I find him desirable. I have been lucky enough on two occasions to surreptitiously observe him masturbating when he thought I was asleep.
Happily, enough light comes in from the hall under the door to illuminate his side of the room while leaving my half opened eyes shielded. I suppose he was fairly well distracted with his task also, making it even easier to watch. His cock, which I had already seen flaccid when we changed or showered and I knew to be circumcised and interesting looking, grows long and thick when he is aroused. Since he tossed aside his bed covers and removed his pajamas, I was treated to a full show. While one hand slid up and down his long erect shaft, he fondled his balls with the other. As he got more into the action, his eyes shut tightly, allowing me to be less cautious. Though I supposed that he was imagining some cunt, I hoped in my heart that it was me he was thinking of me as he pleasured himself.
I ached to go to his bed and replace his hands with mine. I had never touched a cock that large. I wondered if I would be able to take it all into my mouth as I had with two other men. Both of them had much smaller penises than my roommate, Charles. Could I even get my smallish hands around his large beautiful cock? I involuntarily touched myself as I watched his large bulbous, mushroom shaped cock head pulsate between his strokes. It was painful fighting the urge to go to his bed and swallow his prick. I tried to rationalize doing it. Would any man reject oral sex in those circumstances? It wouldn't make him queer to accept a man's lips when he was in such obvious need. But no amount of rationalization could overcome my fear. I knew what happened to queers. So I just watched.
I nearly jumped up when his cock erupted, sending a stream of his thick semen shooting over his belly. Even though I wanted to watch him clean up, I forced myself to close my eyes. I was too afraid of being caught spying on him. The second time I was a bit braver and caught some of his clean up ritual. He dabbed at the puddle of semen with a couple of tissues. Then he walked across the room to the sink completely naked. I suppose he was confident that I was sound asleep, or maybe at that point he didn't care if I woke up and saw him. It wasn't unusual for him to be naked in my presence. Even though it was always somewhat torturous when he paraded his body before my eyes, that night it was worse.
For the first time I let myself imagine holding and caressing him. I fixated on his round only slightly hairy ass. I could practically feel his flesh on my fingers as I imagined fondling his buttocks while our bodies pressed together. As he washed his hands, I thought about nuzzling his alluring ass and kissing his bare flesh. Though I had never put my lips on a man's ass, I would have happily licked his if he allowed. I even considered doing something I had scarcely imagined before. I wondered what it would be like to slide my cock between his supple buttocks and into his ass. I could not conceive of being able to take his large cock into mine. That night ended with him snoring while I lay awake, frustrated and afraid to relive myself as he had.
When I awoke in the morning with my cock fully erect, Charles had already left for his first class. I chose to masturbate instead of attending mine. I pounded my cock in my fist while imagining having sex with my roommate. I had what was probably the most intense orgasm of my life to that point.
After that I had what can only be called a crush on my roommate. Though it was primarily based on sexual desire and need, there was no denying I let it take on romantic notions in my mind. Fortunately, I was enough of a realist to know that it was unlikely anything would ever come of my crush. As far as I knew Charles was a completely heterosexual man. He had spoken of past girlfriends and at least according to him had plenty of experience fucking cunt. There had never been a hint of any interest in me or any man. I had very modest hopes for the relationship. I simply wanted more opportunities to watch him masturbate. Though I couldn't control that, I did mange to find ways to see him naked more often.
