Whenever I need to come, I just have to think back to those busy few days on the set, when both J and V touched my life in a most special way.
That had been when I worked in the Industry as a sort of creative script consultant – a job I set up to both enhance the actor’s
methoding
, and therefore cut down on the studio’s worries. I was a sort of go-between, acting as interface between Director and producers on one side, and of course all the actors on the other.
That one day, I was in J’s trailer early in the afternoon, preparing with her for a scene to be shot early next day. It was more a pre-focus chat, just something I liked to make available if needed – a preparatory run through to the real-thing pre-shoot psych-up, before doing the scene. The mood was therefore light and casual, an atmosphere played up to by a warm spring light coming in a flood into the trailer from the forest outside.
She was sat, well, semi-reclined really in her easy chair with her legs stretched out before her – relaxed, dressed still in the jeans and blouse from the previous scene, done and wrapped little earlier.
She kept her eyes closed whilst gently massaging her temples, as my voice read on ahead for her through the work at hand. I was sat opposite, leant forward with a copy of the script casually folded open to the right spot in my lap, and taking every opportunity I could of eyeing her sleek form up and down, all stretched out and alluring before me.
I had always had a thing for her, but after two weeks of relatively close proximity on this shoot, my need had grown to explosion point. Even after just ten minutes in her presence, my nipples were swollen and making me aware that they were so dangerously sensitive, that I just knew I would need to attend to myself shortly afterwards, a state not being helped by every slight stroke of contact against the inside of my loose shirt, as I turned the pages, and…fidgeted ever so discreetly.
Predictably the mood was good, even if J’s expression kept slipping back into that vaguely troubled look she had, a thing which she did so endearingly I felt, and which she had created over the past few years into something of a trade-mark on-screen.
As I read and watched her, I felt the need grow, and contemplated calling a swift break early instead of waiting, all so that I could go to the toilet and play with myself quickly – it wouldn’t take long, I just knew it.
Instead, I managed to finish up reading, leaning back easily and taking a slight thrill in knowing that my nipples now pressed against the shirt’s light fabric, would certainly be visible in their hardness – I didn’t care, these people were used to being adored, and if they weren’t okay with the fact that other people got off on looking at them, then they shouldn’t be working in this end of the industry.
‘So – what was it you in mind for playing this particular scene?’
J frowned as if upset mildly at being pulled back from some nice thoughts.
‘Oh – hell. I just need to go to the bathroom first!’ She was up in a single move and gone off down into the trailer’s mid-section. Upon hearing her movements around inside there, I slipped a hand quickly down inside my jeans, opening my legs and leaning back further – enjoying the excitement of that intimate, sliding touch whilst knowing she was so nearby. It added to the thrill doing myself in the place she was living in.
Of course I was sat more correctly by the time she returned – still cross-legged, but more demurely so than seven seconds earlier, with a leg over each armrest and my hand massaging openly between them. She looked at me briefly while sitting down, her glance flicking up my body: ‘You want a quick break first? Looks like you could do with it.’
I kept my calm, not really sure if she meant what it sounded like she meant – these things are very prone to misconstruction.
‘No, I’m fine thanks.’
‘You sure…?’ She hesitated briefly. ‘I always find that I concentrate better without, y’know – such distractions getting in the way.’
I smiled, relaxing and feeling a little silly at assuming she had been talking about masturbation: ‘Ah well, I am not the one who is concentrating the hardest here. I’ll live.’
‘Yes but that’s my point.
I
need to relax, I always do so before a scene, even in rehearsal – and I don’t want you thinking I’m weird or something.’
‘Sorry…?’
J looked exasperated for a second, tossing her hair back with decision, gesturing so characteristically, with her hands ending claw-like before her, wrestling the words forcibly out of thin air.
‘Look, I just have to have a little play with myself beforehand, and I don’t like doing it in the bathroom – it’s a child-memory hang-up thing. I just tried back there, but it didn’t work.’ She glanced at me intently. ‘I’m sorry but I didn’t get time before you got here, so I’d feel more comfortable if you were just okay about this, or even if you did it too – that’s why I asked, ‘cause I’d be able to get on then and prepare this scene just fine.’
Without too much of a pause I looked at her and smiled quite naturally. ‘Sure, I don’t mind.’ The smile was more for myself at being doubly caught out… ‘Any good analyst should allow a client full freedom to express themselves,
however
they want – just like Frank Zappa said, “as long as it doesn’t cause a murder”.’