She was sitting nervously on the plastic bucket shaped chair, her eyes flicking back and forth to the door; the office door; the office door with 'her' name on. It was a quiet Friday afternoon, the clock on the wall read almost 4:30 pm, the school unnaturally quiet, all but deserted, the majority of the staff, and all of the pupils having escaped for the weekend.
Apprehensively she sat outside Ms Gardiner's office, feeling agitated, uncomfortable, twitching, and fiddling with her fingers. She chewed her lip, biting down slightly too hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood on the tip of her tongue. Finally she summoned the determination, and, slipping the envelope out of her bag, she knocked on the office door.
"Come in", the voice from inside, oblivious, unaware of the apprehension going through the girl's mind.
Slowly, she pushed open the office door, little chance of going back now. Her heart in her mouth she stepped inside and let the door close behind her.
"Hi Miss, erm, are you busy?" looking at the floor, able to glimpse, beneath the desk, a view of Ms Gardiner's legs. The tension in her stepped up another notch.
Ms Gardiner was sitting at her desk, finishing her paperwork for the week. Out of hours, she had discarded her jacket, which was slung over the chair in the corner. She wore a tight, white blouse, the full size of her impressive breasts highlighted by the fit and the tautness of the material. Her legs were crossed beneath the desk, revealing the slit in the skirt, and her shapely nylon-clad legs.
"No not busy Miranda, have a seat, how can I help?"
" Thank you." She moved to the indicated chair, her hands trembling, sitting down quickly to try and hide her frayed nerves. Facing Ms Gardiner, she leaned back into the chair, crossing her legs, exposing her lower thighs, clad in opaque, patterned tights, desperately trying to appear in control, nonchalant even. She had not changed after school, and was still wearing her grey tartan skirt, white blouse, and black blazer.
For a moment the only sound was that of pen scratching on paper. Finally, Ms Gardiner put down her pen and turned to face the student, slid her glasses back up her nose, an expectant look on her face.
"I'm not sure I know how to begin Miss," the student smiled nervously, slightly unsettled, fidgeting with an envelope.
Ms Gardiner rested her hand on her chin to lean nearer, "It's ok Miranda, take your time, you're not being bullied are you?" She paused briefly, seeing the student fidgeting again with the sealed envelope. "Is that something you want me to see Miranda?" her movements indicating the letter.
Miranda tried to speak but her mind would not shape the words that needed to come out; the words she had rehearsed a million times. Finally,
"I'm confused Miss..." her eyes hesitantly flicking towards Ms Gardiner.
The teacher leaned in closer to Miranda, looking concerned, her cleavage visible between the open buttons at the top of her blouse. "What is it Miranda? Confused about what?"
" Sex," she whimpered, softly gulping, the subject broached, all bridges burned. "I have been with a couple of boys and... well I felt nothing... but well, you know, they never lasted that long, but I felt... well, I still felt nothing..."
Ms Gardiner nodded concern evident on her face. "It's okay, just as long as you're not at risk Miranda. Anything you say I can, and will keep confidential, you know I won't blab don't you Miranda?" A soft comforting smile on her full lips; "Besides, you know, you're still young and sex is something that takes practice".
"But..." as Miranda smiled softly, nervously",I went to a New Year's Eve party and we played truth or dare and I had to go to a cupboard and kiss who ever was stood in there. Well the room, the cupboard was dark, no-one spoke, but my lips found theirs," a pause, a gasp, her eyes dropped from those of her teacher, "found hers".
"Well that's not unusual" was the reply. Her tone of voice calming, relaxing, comforting, as she tried to reassure, thinking this is just another ordinary teen worry.
Miranda continued her story; Ms Gardiner just listened, nodded, injecting the occasional comment, a little surprised but she kept it under control.
"...and we kissed for ages, I still don't know who it was, but I left that cupboard not knowing who it was feeling so very flushed, you know, aroused. Since then all I have wanted to do was to see her again, to kiss her, to know who it was, to find her and well, you know, go further," her voice trailed off, her heart poured out without realising, and certainly not to her well-honed plan.
"It aroused you?" the teacher asked innocently.
"Miss, you know when you have a real good kiss, a good snog, you get all aroused, you know wet, tingly, down there you know at your fanny, inside." Finishing the sentence she looks at Ms Gardiner wanting a reassuring reply.
Ms Gardiner smiled, nodded, blushed, dropped her gaze momentarily as she heard her student use that word, that term.
"But Miss," blushing, the words tumbling from her, "I've never ever been aroused like that before or since just by kissing; not even when fucking..."
"It's perfectly natural Miranda," replied Ms Gardiner, trying to regain her composure, bring the conversation back to a less emotional footing. "Many of us go through same sex experiences and it's all part of developing and understanding our sexuality..." The teacher paused.
Miranda broke the silence, "Miss?" she gulped.
"Yes?"
"It's rumoured that you are, well, you know, maybe gay. Is it true?"
With slight embarrassment, Ms Gardiner smiled, skillfully ducking the question that had been inevitable through her whole teaching career,
"And where are these rumours coming from?"
"Oh the sixth form common room I think," unnerved by the sidestep.
Ms Gardiner just nodded, a knowing almost supercilious smile on her face, trying to disguise the rapid beating of her heart, "And you believe them?"
"I'm not sure..." Miranda replied, suddenly regaining confidence, offering Ms Gardiner the letter, "but maybe there's a possibility that it might be..."
"Is there now? And what is this Miranda? You want me to read this now?"
"I guess you should..."
Slowly and with some hesitation, Ms Gardiner took the letter, slowly opened it and started to read.