There was no reason why she shouldn't have been able to sleep, but Charisma found herself walking through the semi-dark halls of the manor anyway. Three in the morning never seemed as lonely as now. It was his fault. Had he not kissed her before walking out of the kitchen, she would have been able to think of something else, anything else. But 'lo and behold, she'd been stuck tossing and turning in bed, wishing he was there with her.
There was feeling lonely, and then there was feeling like this. Charisma sighed dejectedly as she continued her walk. She smiled at the sound of Slade's voice sweet-talking a probable conquest. At the mention of his tongue going in a not so modest place, she increased the pace of her walk and took a right turn at the end of the hall. A very bare hallway led to large double doors that looked like something out of a medieval movie. It was obvious that someone was inside the room the doors protected because Charisma saw the flickering light of a fire through the crack in the doors. If she wasn't such a curious person, she would have headed back to her room. But she was a curious person and because of that, she found herself slowly pushing the door open.
Charisma felt her breath catch at the sight of the very large and beautiful library in front of her. Three walls were nothing but shelves filled with books. Wall ladders, much like the ones she'd seen in movies, were perched against the wall, patiently waiting for their next use. The fourth wall was heavily curtained, which made her think that they covered large windows. In the center of the curtained wall was a fireplace that housed the blazing fire that drew her into the room.
There was a small sitting area around the fireplace with large, plush chairs and one very comfortable looking burgundy couch. To the other side of the room were three desks, all covered with books. There were no plants or paintings in the library, but a very intricate brass chandelier hung from the center of the steepled ceiling and it only served to highlight the ornate contemporary rug that rested on the hardwood floors.
The room was amazing.
Charisma took a step into the room and it was then that she noticed Jameson sitting on the large couch. Why hadn't she seen him before? She walked toward him slowly and as she approached, it became clear that he was focused on something in his hands. A picture frame. In it was a beautiful hand-drawn photo of a man and woman she'd never seen before. They both looked... In love. Though the sketch also depicted what she suspected were the grounds of the manor, Charisma could only see the love and happiness of the couple. "Who are they?"
Jameson didn't bother to loop up or at her when she sat beside him as he said, "Two people I am slowly learning to envy." His brother and Nadia barely knew each other for six months and already they knew that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Andraemalek, one of the most brash, abrasive and reclusive men he'd ever known was able to find love. And with someone like Nadia. Two people so completely opposite, but so perfect for one another. How did they do it? Where did they bravery to ignore the dangers of this life come from?
And how could he, Jameson, find a way to have such a fearless connection?
It took him a minute to realize what he'd said to Charisma. To hide his embarrassment, he stood and placed the picture on the mantle. "What are you still doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep." She watched him for a moment. With his long ebony hair unbound, he looked more dangerous than when he groomed. But his eyes... They told her just how vulnerable he really was. "You know, it's ok to admit you're lonely sometimes."
"Not in my line of work." Jameson stared at the fire as he tried to control his emotions. It was Nadia's words that had him jumbled up and confused. Before her premonition, he was fine; better, in fact, when he kept his relationships light and impersonal. There were no attachments, no worries about emotions, and definitely no concerns for anyone's safety. There was no fear of leaving anyone behind or worse, having someone taken from him.
"So why are you sitting alone, starting at a picture of two people who are obviously so deeply in love that it's almost sickening?"
He turned to look at her and felt a tightening in his chest at the serene look on her face. The firelight danced gently over her face and for a moment, he could have sworn he was looking at an angel. Charisma's pale green eyes were warm and understanding, giving him more reason to want her. "I was prepared to live my life alone. It's easier that way."
"But-"
"I'm better by myself," Jameson interrupted, "I don't want to have to worry about the things D. has to."
Charisma nodded slowly. She understood that his life was dangerous and that he didn't need the added strain of worrying about someone else on his brain. But his actions, especially with her, said something completely different. "So what about whatever it is between us? Have you made up your mind yet?"
He said nothing for a long minute. Instead of speaking, he chose to watch the emotions that played across her face. She seemed disappointed by the thought of his turning his back on his feelings for her. At the same time, she completely understood his reasons if he decided to change his mind. He didn't know how to feel about that, or anything concerning her, for that matter. "I don't think I was the one chosen to find you simply because of this situation."
"There were demons after me," she reasoned. She didn't like the thought of his walking away from her, but there wasn't much she could do about it; it was his decision. On top of that was the fact that she was confused about what she felt about him as well. She wasn't experiencing a weird form of hero-worship, and the feelings she had for him were intense. It was the fact that her feelings were so strong after only a handful of days that terrified her. Those feelings took her control away from her, and she needed that control. It was her lifeline.
"We both know that that's not what I'm talking about." Jameson moved to sit beside her and took a breath when she briefly looked away. She wanted him, but only if he was patient with her and was sure about what he wanted, which he wasn't. Charisma made it clear that she only wanted a physical relationship. He wanted more. But at the same time, he couldn't bear to put her through the stress that came with his life.
"We don't know each other." How could she give him what he wanted if she didn't know him? That was way too much faith to put into a virtual stranger.
"I know what I feel."
"Jameson, why can't it just be light for now?"
"I like a challenge." He smiled when she looked away again. "You do something to me, Charisma." To emphasize his point, he pulled her to him and sighed contentedly at the way she melted into him. "You feel it too."
Charisma couldn't lie. But she wasn't comfortable enough to go passed physical attraction. "What if it's a passing thing?" He could wake up one morning and realize that he never really wanted her. That wasn't something she could deal with.
"That's bullshit and you know it." He turned her head to face him and captured her soft lips with his. The eagerness with which she kissed him told him all he needed to know. She wanted him, just as much as much as he wanted her. If he was to seriously set his fears aside for her, he would not settle for less than what he wanted. "I want you. All of you." He kissed her again and had to force himself to pull her hands away from the hem of his shirt. "But I won't have you until you're as sure as I am." He had his concerns, but his own selfish needs outweighed everything else.
She looked into his eyes and realized how serious he was. He put his cards on the table; he wanted all or nothing. "What if I'm never sure?"
"You will be." Jameson ran his fingers through her hair a moment before he kissed her forehead. She was terrified of putting her faith in someone. Though he understood, he wasn't about to make allowances. "You will be."
* * * * *
The small commotion brought Jameson and Charisma awake. Groggily, they looked at each other and said nothing to the feeling of being the first people they saw. They also said nothing to the fact that sleeping in each others' arms gave them both a sense of peace they hadn't expected. They simply smiled at each one another before following the noise to the kitchen. There, all the brothers gathered around the island with the couple from the picture. Charisma regarded the two figures closely; the man, Andraemalek, if she remembered correctly, was an imposing figure. He was one of the taller men in the room, but that wasn't what gave him the menacing quality; no, it was the almost angry looking square shaped faced and black, almost empty eyes that made her wary. They seemed to look straight into the soul. Thick, dark eyebrows added a dramatic effect to his eyes and when paired with his slightly crooked nose and ridiculously toned body, he was almost scary. The warm toffee color of his skin did nothing to soften him.
He looked more like someone the brothers would fight and not one of them.
The plump woman beside Andraemalek, however, had to be his complete opposite. Nadia stood a good six to seven inches shorter than him and had a warm smile. Her unusual grey eyes were bright and displayed her excitement to see everyone. Mocha skin glowed almost unnaturally, especially when compared to the deep red hair piled atop her head. In her own way, Nadia was a very beautiful woman, but there was something about her, something mysterious that gave her an edge.
The brothers looked very excited to see her. Alexis hugged her tightly as he expressed his relief at seeing her no worse for wear. Liam didn't look so mean, though he did make a fuss concerning the length of her absence. The twins took turns introducing themselves before Slade took the opportunity to state that he always had a thing for redheads. Andraemalek didn't like the remark at all and had Nadia not stood in his way, he would have shown his brother just how much.
"Where's Caleb?" Nadia asked.
"Wait, Cale was here?"
