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February 14, 2016
Dear my love,
First of all, I am writing this letter to ask for your forgiveness for the mistakes I have made, even though I know that they are unforgivable. I have broken our vows in front of the altar.
When you were still courting me, I was already amazed by your persistence. Aside from being handsome, you were also diligent in pursuing me. You wholeheartedly accepted Joseph, my child from a past relationship. Thank you for making me and my child feel true love.
That's why I didn't hesitate to say yes to you. After two years of being together, despite our ups and downs, everything eventually led to marriage.
But something happened, it has been a year already. On New Year's Eve, your relatives who are our neighbors came to our house to celebrate. Since we had just moved in at that time, I tried my best to get along and serve everyone.
If you still remember, you were in the midst of the celebration when you noticed that I was outside, laughing with your older cousin, Sir Arman. You discreetly called me and whispered to keep my distance from him because he tends to be a pervert.
I just nodded at you then, knowing that he was like that, partly because of his playful nature.
Nevertheless, he still managed to make me laugh with his colorful jokes. I couldn't bring myself to scold your cousin because he was the first person I interacted with since we moved here. I think he was just trying to be friendly.
It was late at night when you suddenly came out to make noise and rev up your cars. I was just by the door, smiling and watching you. Then, out of nowhere, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me inside our house. It took me a moment to realize that it was Sir Arman.
He quickly dragged me towards the dark kitchen and leaned me against the wall. Startled and nervous, I couldn't respond immediately. He firmly held both of my shoulders, keeping me pinned, and swiftly kissed me on the lips.
I quickly turned my head to the right to stop his advances. I couldn't understand myself in those moments, unable to resist his grip or even scream, even though there was nothing stopping me.
One of his hands landed on my cheek, and he made me look into his eyes. It was then that I remembered the weeks we had been exchanging smiles and nods with your cousin whenever our eyes met. I never imagined that those moments meant something more.
As we locked eyes, he whispered to me, "Don't you want this?" My tongue seemed to retreat, and I couldn't answer. Instead, I avoided his gaze. And because he didn't hear any objection from me, he kissed me on the lips again. It was more intense and passionate than before.
After a few seconds, I gently pushed his chest and said, "Sir, someone might see us." I'm sorry, my love, I know what I said was wrong. It gave him an indication that I wanted what was happening. He simply replied, "No one will see us."
After that, he immediately resumed kissing my lips, and all I could do was close my eyes.
As his lips continued to move, I realized that maybe I did have some feelings for your cousin. He had a certain charm in the way he moved and spoke, like a douchebag, which was the type I liked in a man. Plus, he was tall, dark-skinned, and had a good physique. Despite his age and not being conventionally handsome, he still had a strong appeal to me.
A few moments later, I unintentionally responded to his kisses. He abruptly stopped when he felt my lips reciprocating. We locked eyes again and exchanged a brief smile before our lips met in a passionate embrace.
I hope you can still forgive me, my love, because at that moment, I willingly returned the kisses of your cousin. That's where it all started.
His breath smelled of alcohol and cigarettes, so there was a part of my brain that was disgusted by the situation. But despite that, my passion got the better of me, so I slowly opened my mouth to let his tongue enter.
From my shoulders, I felt his hands slowly moving down my body, until he grabbed my butts. Startled, I opened my eyes and stopped kissing him.
I quickly turned my head to the left to peek my head out towards the edge of the wall, just to catch a glimpse of you. That's when I saw that you were still outside, happily laughing with other relatives.
Next, I felt the touch of Sir's mustache on the side of my neck. His kisses were gentle, making me gasp. "Don't worry about him," he commanded.
I suddenly realized that I was already embracing him and holding the back of his head. I was also surprised at my own actions. His kisses descended to my chest and then went up to the other side of my neck. I looked up while he brushed his facial hair against my sensitive skin.
I whispered to him, "That's enough, Sir," but he didn't respond. He lifted the back of my dress and squeezed my butt. He chuckled lightly and whispered that they feel nice and round.
I didn't know if I should laugh or feel embarrassed by what he said, but we smiled. He then asked me when was the last time we had sex. I felt awkward with his question, so I immediately avoided eye contact.
And then I realized that it had been a long time since we last made love. It was because you always had extra hours at work and you were exhausted when you came home. On Sundays, we would visit my mom, so we never had the chance to bed.
Sir Arman chuckled softly when I couldn't answer his question, as if he knew what I meant. He whispered in my ear again, "I'll take care of you." Then he kissed me gently again. Indeed, your cousin's kisses were tender. They were warm, wet, ticklish, and it felt like his tongue was dancing inside my mouth.