I am a 30 year old guy who has recently had his entire world turned upside down. I've been married for 7 year and have two son's, one 5 and the other six. My father, who was my best friend, passed away a little over a year ago. I have still not completely accepted the fact he is gone.
After the birth of my second son my wife changed. She has lost all interest in everything including sex. I have to do most of the housework now. She just does not seem to care. Our sex life is pretty much over. She has absolutely no desire so we have sex about once or twice a year and then she just does it to appease me. My frustration became so unbearable I began to consider having an affair. I even had the woman picked out. She is older than I and is a coworker of mine.
I work at a plant and my shift starts at 10:00 AM. Since dad's death I stop and visit mom on my way to work. She looks forward to my visits and she lives right on my way to work. One day, during a visit, I told mom some of my problems at home. I felt more comfortable discussing things like that with dad but he's gone now. She listened and told me how pleased she was that I would share that with her. I didn't get into the sexual frustration I felt during that discussion.
A week or so passed and during one of my visits I talked more about my situation at home. This time I told mom everything. I told her of my sexual frustration, that I had not had sex in nine months, and that I was considering having an affair. Mom was horrified and upset by the whole mess. I regretted telling her. I told her not to worry and that I did not mean to upset her.
The next time I visited her she quizzed me about the mess at home. I appreciated her concern but was afraid I would just worry her more by talking about it. She told me she was very worried about my talk of having an affair. She went on to tell me my father had had an affair many years ago and how deeply it hurt her when she found out. She said she eventually forgave him but she could never forget it. I was stunned at this revelation.
As mom and I talked she revealed things to me that she never would have discussed before dad died. Mom told me she wished she could give my wife some of her sex drive. She went on to say that since menopause she had had more of an interest in sex than she had when she was young and could not explain why. She even admitted dad had teased her about it. Mom, speaking in her most motherly tone, told me she was telling me this so I might understand that others have feelings like that and just learn to control them. I understood her point but it didn't help.
More time passed and mom and I talked very little about my problems. Then, one day, the subject of my proposed affair came up and I told mom the woman I had in mind. Mom was horrified. She couldn't believe I would pick someone that much older than I am. Mom reminded me that the object of my affections was just a few years younger than her. I jokingly told my mother that if she were not my mother I could be interested in her. I reminded her that she is trim for a 60 year old and looks great. Mom blushed and didn't say much. That ended our conversation.
The next time I dropped by mom's house I could tell something was bothering her. Her tone was more firm and deliberate and it concerned me. During our conversation she seemed to stiffen and she asked me if I was serious about this affair with the older woman. I said "yes". Mom again told me what a mistake that would be and she said I am prepared to do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. I was a little scared at this point because I had no idea where this was going.
