A Ouettecunte Family Affair Ch 03

The name's Ouettecunte: Jack Ouettecunte. Now, I know what you're thinking: that's kind of a cunty name for a guy, isn't it? I mean, how about something a bit more masculine, like "Jack Hammer", or "Jack Screw", or even "Jack McDickoff"?

Actually, I like to jack my dick off. But I hardly ever get a chance, because either Mum or Claire always does it for me. Tough, huh? The only time I get to stroke my own dick is when I'm at uni, where I'm studying for my "Higher National Diploma in Enlightenment Fuck Media Production Studies". Yeah, it's a bit of a mouthful: Mum tells me that in the Olden Days it was just called "porn" -- but that they didn't have uni courses in it then, so I need to just suck it up.

Anyway, so I spend all day watching fucking, filming fucking, directing fucking, editing fucking, even scripting fucking and storyboarding fucking -- which gives me plenty of opportunity to jack off. That's nice, because the moment I get home someone wants me to fuck them, or eat their cunt -- which gets kinda tedious. Actually, I lie: Claire's fucking brilliant at blowjobs. Mum's not too bad, but she just tends to stick to slow deepthroating, like Dad likes it. But Claire -- she does the whole brutal throat thing, you know, gagging and dry heaving and stuff, with spit and slime and snot and everything.

So, maybe life's not so bad after all.

Anyway, today me and Claire are at the RAF -- that's the Royal Academy of Fucking, in London -- and she's just done her first audition item, which was a blowjob with cake. Though I say so myself, it was amazing: she'd made this huge cream cake, which we brought up on the train with us. And she kept jamming my cock in it so it would get coated with cream and icing and shit; then she'd suck the stuff off, so her face was total mess, and all the sponge and jam and hundreds and thousands kept dripping down onto her tits. And then of course, bit by bit, all her spit and snot and stuff wasn't just her own slime but the cake's as well, and... well, it was just fucking amazing, that's all I can say: the sort of blowjob you just can't script.

OK, maybe I'm biased, because she's my sister, but really, if they don't accept her, well then, they're just a bunch of dickheads. I mean, I know Claire's throat isn't exactly natural: Mum and Dad GM'ed it for her

in vitro

. Mum always wished she could suck cock like that, but they didn't have Genetic Modification when she was

in vitro

, so I think she was determined Claire should have that opportunity. (Actually, now I think of it, was Mum ever

in vitro

? I wonder if in those days she got born the old-fashioned way, you know, out of someone's cunt... Creepy, huh? Waste of a good cunt, if you ask me...)

So, result: Dad and I get the best blowjobs in the world free of charge, whenever we like. We just have to put to put up with all the cake shit -- but hey, am I complaining? Small price to pay, I reckon. I mean, really, if you had the prettiest blond deepthroat slut in the world wanting to swallow your dick, and the only drawback was a bit of wet-and-messy, would you object?

I should say: we actually came up to London yesterday so we could see the sights and fuck around a bit. I mean, the fuck scene in the capital is so much more lively than down in Little Dicking. Like, everywhere you look, people are fucking. Our first tourist stop was the London Asshole, which is like this big wheel just by the river. It's got fucking pods and non-fucking pods: no prize for guessing which we went for. It was totally fucking squirting my cum into Claire's cunt 150 yards up in the air! Then we visited Wankminster Abbey, where they were singing Evenschlong: the fucking was good, but I thought the music was boring. And in the evening we went to see a show called

Wonka's Willy and the Chocolate Fucktory

-- not exactly my style, but Claire adored it of course: tons of chocolate, tons of fucking, and tons of fucking chocolate -- what more could a WAM slut like her want?

Anyway, back to the present. Before Claire's second audition item, it's interview time. I'm allowed to sit on a chair in the corner and watch, so long as I don't interrupt. So I use the opportunity to wipe all the cake off my dick and balls, while Claire answers their questions.

I must admit, I wouldn't like to have to go through this interview. I'm not great at making sense when I'm questioned about things and, to be honest, nor is Claire. She's always said, who cares about the theory of fucking if you're already a natural at actually fucking? Well, I kind of agree -- but at a place like

le Royale Académie de Feucquing

(OK, I know that's not proper French -- but you get my meaning: this place is

très très snob

) you can't really avoid all the philosophical Enlightenment bullshit. So... good luck, Claire!

There are three people on the audition panel, sitting in a row at a small table at one end of the hall. (There's also a large couch in front of the table, which I guess must be for any applicants who want to fuck lying down -- but we obviously didn't need that for my blowjob. Claire says blowjobs are best with the guy standing and the girl grovelling on her knees: who am I to disagree?) Anyway, there's a young admissions secretary type who introduced herself as Anna: she's a bit plump, with big natural tits which she likes to jiggle around at every opportunity, and a large pink quill pen with which she takes copious notes on everything. Then there's a man, kind of smarmy and lanky with slick black hair, called Dr Richard Dick -- but his colleagues seem to just call him Dick, or Dick-Dick. He has this really long cock with a bulging mushroom head, which he was stroking all the way through Claire's blowjob, so presumably that means he liked it.

Finally, there's Professor Cuntslicker -- I think she's the Principal of the Academy or something, because everybody seems in awe of her. Actually, I'm not surprised: she's tall, really good-looking, with huge tits. But not MM or GM, like girls have these days: I think hers are "surgically enhanced" or something, like they used to do before the Enlightenment. My aunt Cecily has them: she's let me suck on them a few times, in return for doing her weeding. They're kinda weird, because they don't really move like normal tits: they're, like. stuck on, if you know what I mean. But hey, who cares, if you can still suck them and fuck them?

Anyway, believe it or not, the weirdest thing about Cuntslicker isn't her tits, but her

cock

! Yeah, you read that right. OK, OK, it's not

actually

her cock, I think it's one of those new "auto-dildo" things I read about in

What Dildo?

magazine the other day. Apparently it kind of fits into her cunt, and looks and feels like a cock, and fucks like a cock -- and even comes like a cock! Well, the Professor hasn't used it for anything yet today -- though I saw it going hard of its own accord while she was watching Claire's blowjob, which I guess is a good sign.

OK, so now the interview seems to be starting. Shit, I hope Claire doesn't embarrass herself...

"Well, Claire, thank you so much for that." It is Dr Dick talking now. "That was a very impressive blowjob. Have you always enjoyed sucking cock?"

"Oh yes," replies Claire, grinning. "My mom taught me. She was a great first teacher!"

Well done, Claire: you answered the question. Not particularly eloquent, but definitely sincere and enthusiastic. And great to stress the family connections: proves you're a respectable, well brought-up slut.

But then it starts to go downhill. "So tell me then, Claire," continues Dr Dick, "what do you think is likely to be the significance of blowjobs in building up Enlightenment-consciousness in British youth in the 2050s?"

Oh shit. That is just the sort of question Claire is hopeless at. Actually, I don't understand a word of it myself. Nor does Claire. She looks like a dick caught in the headlights. She hesitates awkwardly, and mumbles something incomprehensible. Dr Dick tries again: "Let me rephrase the question, Claire. How do you think the development of blowjob technique over the last fifty years or so has reflected the societal changes wrought by the Enlightenment?"

"Um... uh... well yeah, Doctor Dick, I think blowjobs are really... fucking... I think..." Claire giggles nervously, barely concealing an embarrassed grimace.

Oh fuck. Dr Dick raises his eyebrows. "Could you elaborate on that, Miss Ouettecunte?" Oh shit: always a bad sign when your interviewer reverts to calling you by your surname. I sit there in the corner, trying in vain to work out what I would say in answer to the question -- but really, if you can suck cock like Claire, who gives a flying fuck about the development of Enlightenment blowjob-consciousness, or whatever the fuck he was saying?

Claire seems to be thinking the same thing as me -- but thankfully she decides to play to her strengths. Instead of attempting to bullshit the bullshit, she says, "Yes, Doctor Dick, I think I can elaborate on that," before slipping off her chair onto her knees, and disappearing under the interviewers' table. From where I am sitting, I can't see what she is doing, but Dr Dick's delighted gasp gives me a good indication.

Soon a rhythmic gluck-gluck-glucking echoes from below the table, and Dr Dick is moaning with pleasure. "I think that is a very mmm-perceptive answer, Miss Ouettecunte," he pants. "You have clearly considered these questions very caref-- oh fuck..."

"May I ask a question too, Doctor Dick?" interrupts Anna. "I was wondering whether Miss Ouettecunte feels that modern developments in pussy-licking have kept pace with the blowjob -- or whether that is an aspect of social progress to which institutions like ours should pay greater heed?"

"Mmfff," comes Claire's cock-muffled voice from beneath the table. I hear a squelchy plopping sound, followed by my sister's confident, if slightly dribbly, reply: "I think I can answer that question too, Miss Anna." A couple of seconds later, Anna emits a delighted gasp, and I can hear the sounds of enthusiastic slurping from below the table.

Professor Cuntslicker smiles knowingly, as the sounds of simultaneous cunt-slurping and cock-fapping echo out from underneath the table. Soon both Anna and Dr Dick are moaning in pleasurable two-part counterpoint. "Oh yes, Miss Ouettecunte," squeals Anna, "I agree with your assessment of the situation entirely. Don't you, Doctor Dick?"

"Oh yes, Anna," moans Dr Dick, "I think Miss Ouettecunte has a firm grasp of the -- oh fuck -- the issue."

"And expresses her views with great... taste," adds Anna, before squealing again with pleasure. "What do

you

think, Professor Cuntslicker?"

The Professor has stood up, and is stroking her auto-dick firmly -- which makes it, most impressively, go all stiff and throbbing like a real cock. "I would like to ask Miss Ouettecunte whether she thinks the Enlightenment has got the balance right between oral skills and fucking -- or whether, in our zeal to pursue the perfect blowjob or cunt-gobble, we are losing sight of the importance of more traditional fucking skills. Perhaps she could... demonstrate her opinion on this matter?"

Anna and Dick shift their chairs backwards, so that Claire, still on her knees, can continue to pleasure them with tongue and hand, while the Professor positions herself behind her, gently nudging her auto-cock against my sister's wet cunt-lips. Now that they have moved back from the table, I can see everything. Claire's face is buried deep in Anna's crotch, her tongue slurping noisily up and down her fuck-lips while two fingers of her left hand curl into the secretary's gash to diddle her G-spot from the inside. She plasters some of Anna's cunt-slime on her right hand as well, to lube up Dick's mushroom dickhead for her continuing handjob. And now, she is also pumping back and forth with her ass, so that Professor Cuntslicker's throbbing fake cock slides effortlessly in and out of her fuck-hole.

See what I mean? Claire is a mean fucker, isn't she? Three people simultaneously pleasured, by mouth, hand and cunt all at the same time. What's not to love? Despite the fact that I have only fifteen minutes before emptied my balls into my sister's cake-coated face, my cock is hard again -- and can you blame me? I know not to interrupt the interview, though, so I sit in my corner, slowly stroking off while watching the audition unfold.

Both Anna and Dick are panting, groaning and swearing under their breath as their pleasure grows: Claire clearly has them in the palm of her hand (well, one of them at least), and is building them up towards what -- I say this from personal experience -- is bound to be a top-notch simultaneous orgasm. Only Professor Cuntslicker seems remotely in control of herself, briefly pausing her dildo-fucking to pat Claire's buttocks with her cock and remark, "I wonder, Miss Ouettecunte, could you possibly tell me your thoughts on position-changing? For example, do you think that since the Enlightenment we have become too concerned with variety of sexual positions, perhaps at the expense of consistency, or the carefully-calibrated slow-build?"

"Mmmfuckno," mutters Claire from within the depths of Anna's cunt and, as if to prove it, pushes Dr Dick onto his back on the floor, twists round, and sits on his cock, simultaneously grabbing the Professor's dildo and beginning to subject it to one of her exuberantly noisy throat-fucks. Anna, meanwhile, sits back on the floor admiring the spectacle while ramming three fingers in and out of her gash.

"Do you think, Miss Ouettecunte," gasps Anna, desperately trying to remain verbally coherent while she pleasures her hot twat, "that the Enlightenment obsession with encouraging free and unfettered masturbation threatens to interfere with or overshadow the fundamental importance of the copulatory fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..." Her question has disintegrated, inevitably, into incoherence, as four fingers fly in and out of her cunt while the thumb of her other hand pounds her clit.

Now Dick-Dick has lifted Claire's cunt off his cock, and both he and Cuntslicker are standing over my sister jerking their respective cocks towards orgasm. The sight is so hot I can't stop myself dropping my trousers down to my ankles and starting to stroke my cock too -- though I dutifully maintain my place seated on my chair in the corner of the room.

"I am interested to know, Miss Ouettecunte," says Professor Cuntslicker -- still pumping her auto-dildo but, unlike Dr Dick, apparently totally in control of herself, "how you interpret the significance of the facial cumshot. Is it an expression of admiration for the beauty of the female visage, or an attempt by cock-owners to mark out territory, to dominate, or to degrade?"

Claire has no hesitation in formulating her answer: "Aaaaaghhhh..." she warbles, her head back, her mouth wide open, her lips pulsating, her tongue licking, twirling, swirling in ecstatic readiness for the double cum-drenching she is about to receive. Dr Dick is, unsurprisingly, the first to come; "Fuck yes!" he roars, as several sharp squirts of cum shoot from his cock, splattering Claire's lips and nose.

"Mmmfuck!" exclaims my sister in response, just as Professor Cuntslicker's auto-dildo begins to explode. Rope after thick rope of creamy white fake cum flies from her latex glans, drenching Claire's hair, forehead, eyes, cheeks, and chin, obscuring her natural beauty but transforming her into an irresistible vision of filthy cum-slut gorgeousness. Cum tangles her blond locks, dribbles down her cheeks, dangles from her chin, drips onto her tits -- but she continues to twirl her tongue, slurping the mixture off her lips, sucking it greedily down her throat, even snorting it up her nose as her inchoate lustful caterwauling continues: "AAAARGHFUCKYEAHMMMFUCKCUMMMMMFUCKyeaaaahhhh..."

My cock is close to exploding too -- and Anna, still recumbent on the floor, frigging her own cunt as she watches, begins to spasm uncontrollably. She spies me and screeches: "You -- blond boy! Big brother with the big dick! Squirt your fucking cum in her mouth: I wanna see it while I come!"

Oh yes!

Obediently I get off my chair and hobble over to the interview table, my trousers still bunched awkwardly around my ankles. Anna is screeching, "I'm coming! Spurt it in her mouth, now!" I do as she says, jerking my cock fast, feeling my cum boiling up my shaft. It's not been long since I shot my seed into Claire's throat, but the sight of my sister flailing, blinded, drowning in jizz, is too hot to resist. I stand over her and shoot three of four modest squirts of cum into her open mouth.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK YEAAHHH!" screeches Anna, as she watches my cumshot further adorn Claire's bukkake beauty: her hand becomes a blur between her legs and her body jerks and spasms in orgasmic pleasure.

"MMMFUUUUCK!" wails Claire, as she recognises the familiar familial flavour garnishing her oral cum-cocktail. She thrashes, she groans, she gargles, she smacks her lips, she noisily sucks the triple cum-and-spit mélange in and out of her mouth, before blowing a huge jizz-bubble which bursts over her lips and chin. "Mmmfuuuuck!" she moans again, before swallowing the load.

"Aaaaaahhh!" Claire opens her mouth wide to show off her accomplished swallow, before resuming scooping cum off her face with her fingers and slurping it up. "Mmmfuckkkk..." she moans in ecstasy at each new taste of cum, slurping and sucking and gobbling as she cleans it all off. Dick-Dick and Anna are panting in post-orgasmic pleasure. And so am I, as I quietly shuffle back to my seat in the corner.

Professor Cuntslicker smiles broadly, before wiping the last few drops of auto-cum from her dildo into Claire's sperm-matted hair. "Thank you for your carefully considered answers, Claire. You have demonstrated yourself to be an intelligent and thoughtful young fucker -- don't you think, Dick and Anna?"

Cuntslicker is clearly the only one still in control of her thoughts. Dick-Dick and Anna are basking incoherently in the afterglow of their orgasms. "Fuuuuck..." they moan.

I stow my dick back in my trousers.

I think Claire's aced this one -- don't you?