What is it about my brother Dylan? All our childhood, he made my life a pain -- always mucking about and arguing and never growing up. Then he went off to university and came back all intellectual, spouting boring nonsense about equal rights and life and stuff. I imagined we'd drift apart as we got older and discover our separate identities.
When he came home this summer after his second year, he'd changed again. This time he was more down to earth and serious and talked more sense. It forced me to look at him like a man, rather than a brother -- and I loved the man he'd become. I think he also saw the woman in me, rather than the younger sister with girlish ways.
We bumped into each other as I came out of the shower wrapped in a bath towel, my dark hair tousled, my face stripped of makeup. He looked at me and blushed and apologised for getting in my way -- not long before he'd have barged past me without thinking.
I noticed him watching me and looking away when I glanced in his direction, as though he was afraid of me. It was sweet to think he may have difficulty dealing with a woman like me close up. Then he bought me perfume for my birthday, which I knew was expensive and he couldn't afford it -- even with his summer job at the supermarket.
"Do you like the smell?" I asked putting my neck close to his face to let him get the full effect.
"It's wonderful," he said. As he moved away, his brown eyes peered down the front of my blouse, which was only buttoned half-way because at home we never bothered about things like that. With a mother like ours, who wore her cleavage like a badge of honour for all to see, wearing scanty clothes around the house was normal, especially in the summer.
He walked out of the room afterwards but, from that moment, I knew he was looking at me not just as a woman, but as a woman he would like to fuck. The impossibility of doing it sent a bolt of excitement through me. I already knew no man could resist me if I offered sex, but my brother? It was wrong. I tried not to think about it -- but the thought followed me around, like the scent of my new perfume -- the blood rushing around my head making my ears ring.
One Saturday evening, I was at a loose end. Dani had a hot date with a guy she met in the supermarket -- how she expected to land a millionaire when she kept fucking shelf stackers beat me. Mum was meeting her girlfriends and never got back early. I'd looked forward to staying over with John and letting him fucking the shit out of me again, but he cancelled, to do something for his mother.
I was watching TV when Dylan came home from work. He looked exhausted, so I took pity on him and got him a ham sandwich and a beer. I poured myself a glass of white wine and joined him on the settee.
"You're wearing my perfume again."
"And you smell of sweat," I said, reverting to the usual way we spoke to each other
"It's hard work humping boxes all day."
"Humping boxes -- is that what you do?"
"Give or take a bit."
"You must hump more than boxes at university," I said, laughing deliberately to wind him up. He choked on his sandwich and needed a slug of beer from his can to wash it down.
"I get my fair share."
"Tell me about it," I said, turning round to face him and noticing how his eyes moved from my cleavage to the TV screen before settling on my face.
"You've turned into quite a tease, Ash ... I bet the boys are all over you."
"I get my fair share."
"That friend of yours, Danielle ... she's as bad ... I fucked her last year, you know," he said, the admission of his success making him to sound more of a man.
"I know ... she told me."
"Is nothing private around here?"
"Not between Dani and me."
"She said you were quite good ... and she'd do it again if you asked."
"Only quite good?"
"Well, she said fucking good actually ... and you've got a big dick, apparently ... but I didn't want to give you anything to brag about."
"I've got plenty to brag about."
"Like what?"
"Like ... I've fucked lots of girls at university."
"I thought everybody did that."
"Like ... my friends bet me that I couldn't get to fuck this lesbian, who'd turned down everyone," he said, the pride in his voice telling me he won the bet.
"Are you still fucking her?"
"No, I dumped her after I won the bet ... but it was terrific while it lasted."
Dylan's beer ran out. So I poured him a wine and topped my glass up. "You got a steady girl?"
"I decided to use the opportunity to fuck around with as many girls as possible."
"It sounds like you love getting inside any pair of knickers."
"Can't get enough ... and I have a few regulars ... so I never go short."
"We've never spoken like this before," I said, filling up the glasses again -- the wine helping us to relax -- and the talk to flow.
"It's not the sort of thing you discuss with your sister."
"We share a mother ... so I'm only your half-sister."
"I suppose that makes it OK then."
"I've seen you looking at me."
"Are you surprised? You wander around the house half dressed ... showing off your tits ... it's a lot for a man to take, you know."
"I like men looking at my tits ... they're my best feature, don't you think?" I asked, pushing out my chest and pulling down my jumper to display my cleavage and lacy white bra.
"Stop fucking with my head, Ash."
"I can fuck who I like."
"Dani told me you fuck around."
"Sex isn't just for men, you know ... look at Mum ... and she's in her forties."
"If you weren't my sister, I'd have been up your cunt years ago."
