*Author's Note: Although this functions as a stand-alone story, if you have read "Losing Control at the Lake" you will recognize the characters and events in this story. Derek's perspective is explored here, which is a bit new for me. I welcome any feedback about how it works – either on its own or as a supplement to the LCL series. Thanks for reading – I hope you enjoy it!
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It was the summer from Hell.
I was eighteen. I was leaving for college. It should have been the best summer of my life: girls, parties, everything I thought it would be. Instead, it was very few lame parties, a lot of Xbox, and no girls. Well, worse than that. It was no girls and in particular not the girl I wanted.
But that was ...complicated.
So I'm sort of shy, or whatever, but I've always had girlfriends. I didn't have the problem some guys have, where they literally never have girls. Having a sister helps. First of all, girls are always around. I've dated like five of my sister's friends, and it was easy because they were always at my house and easy to get to know and then ask out. And second of all, a sister can be a go-between if you're a little nervous about telling a girl you like her or if you just need some information about a girl before you ask her out. She can be a good spy, like Dana always was for me. Dana always knew which girls thought which guys were cute (or douches), and she had the inside scoop on who was getting ready to break up. (I'm not ashamed to say I got a couple amazing rebound dates that way.)
Anyway, this summer there were no girls. Or should I say, all the girls were coupled up. And my sister...she was no help in that respect. No help whatsoever. I even ran into a girl I'd dated for a pretty long time back in high school, and I took her out once, thinking that might turn back into...something. A summer fling, or a one-night stand, or anything. (It didn't.) To be honest, I wasn't that into her. I hadn't even been that into her when I'd dated her in school. But she was cute enough, and it was summer, and I was horny as fuck. It was like my dick literally did not know how to be soft. I woke up hard and was hard all day. I jerked off so much that I chafed myself on several occasions, and it didn't even begin to satisfy my cravings. It was a prison of sexual suffering.
So I watched a lot of porn. I watched amateur porn and professional porn and porn that was so gross and wrong I felt ashamed of myself for even being able to stay hard through it. But I did. I was a sick fuck, all summer long, my hand on my cock like I just grew it and was afraid it would get up and walk away. I would wake up, my cock pressing against my boxers, straining for release, a wet spot of pre-cum already on the front. I fell asleep many nights with my cock still in my hand, cum on my stomach, the memories of whatever sordid fantasy I'd just rubbed one off to still fading from my memory. Safe to say it was a summer of extreme sexual frustration.
And then there was this incident.
There's actually not a way to talk about this incident without first confessing that I am incredible perv. I happen to have a really hot sister and I am ridiculously attracted to her. I think I'm in love with her; it's all mixed up in my head, really. All I know is that I look at her every day, I watch her, I fantasize about her. I know her every movement and her smell and her moods. I know her better than I know anyone else in the world, and I would say that she knows me the same way, except that she doesn't. She doesn't know that I want her, she doesn't know that I am always jealous of her boyfriends, she doesn't know that I think about her when I'm looking at porn and when I'm jerking off. And actually, sometimes I'm jerking off and I'm thinking about fucking some other girl, and right as I'm about to cum the girl turns into Dana, and she looks at me and tells me to cum inside her, and I just lose it. Those are the hottest orgasms, but afterwards I feel like throwing up.
I don't want to be a fucking perv who lusts after his own sister. I know it's sick. I probably need some kind of therapy for it. I'm probably going to be fucked up for life. I've never even had actual sex, and I probably can't now, because I'm too obsessed with my sister to really desire another girl. And believe me, I've tried. But every time I am interested in another girl, I start comparing her to Dana and it all gets really confusing in my head. So I've resigned myself to this fucked-up state.
But back to the incident.
We have this uncle. Not an old uncle, a young one, in his 20's. He's my mom's younger brother, and he's really cool. He's always been our favorite uncle, because he's really more like a cousin. He comes to stay with us all the time, because he and my mom are super close. It's like having an older brother who's on your side, because every time he comes we break rules like crazy and he either covers for us or sweet-talks Mom into not punishing us. Summers are always the best with him, and we look forward to them all year. I've always loved having Jayme around.