I managed to cover my intense emotional state well enough. I was shaken, but couldn't allow him to question me; I might just've blurted it out. As it happened, I did good enough, my husband bought it. I was glad he did and then went off to the garage. Now I was free to gather my thoughts while I went through the motions of making dinner.
As I made my way, unsteadily, to the kitchen, my thoughts boiled. What was I going to do? I couldn't tell anyone. It would be a nuclear disaster for our family. How was I going to handle it? I had to make sure it never happened again, I was sure of that.
Taylor, my 19 year old son, came into the room. He looked at me imploringly and mouthed, "I love you Mom. I'm sorry." I looked at him, but wasn't sure how to respond. I just nodded and he left.
As I prepared the meal, making a total hash of it, I turned events over and over in my mind. Alternately I was filled with fear, anger, doubt and finally desire. I had to admit it. There was no denying it. Again and again, I came back to that reaction. Did I really feel that way? It wasn't rational, logical and certainly not acceptable.
Hours later, the dishes cleaned and everyone doing their own thing, I pretended to read the paper. Still afraid of being scrutinized, I studiously kept a blank look on my face. The evening crept by, minutes taking hours. Various members of my family surfed in and out of the room. I paid enough attention to them, they quickly moved on. After a while, I put myself on autopilot, ceasing to dwell on my distress. When it was finally time for bed, I was grateful my husband fell right off to sleep. I couldn't.
There, laying in the dark, I allowed the words to form in my head. My son forced himself on me. He penetrated me with his hard young member. I was horrified by that stark reality, but yet, I burned with a fever over the memory. The dichotomy of those two positions, threatened my sanity. Yet, my mind returned to the afternoon. As I was in my room, Taylor came to me, like he would anytime. It was hard to bring to mind now, fuzzy unclear how it started. Talking, sitting on the bed. He was close, then closer. Gently, but firmly, he pushed me down. I didn't know what to do. I tried to sit up, but I couldn't. His hands took mine, pulling them above my head; his body on top of mine, pinning me so I couldn't move. I was afraid. What was he doing? Kissing. I struggled. More kissing. His weight held me down. Suddenly, I found my voice.
"No. You can't. Stop. You can't do this to me."
"Mom, if I take you like this, you won't feel guilty. You told me the guilt would eat you alive. This way you can say you had no choice."
"But please. This is not the way. It can't be." I started to fight back with all I had, but to no avail.
He didn't say another word. Holding both my wrists with one of his hands, the other hand worked fast to release his cock from his jeans and pull down my shorts. While he only had one hand on me, I saw my last chance, I tried to wrench my hands free, twisting and pulling them hard as I could. His strength overwhelmed me, I couldn't pull free, and then I felt him at my pussy. The head of his cock pushed at me until my fleshy walls gave way. He was bigger, thicker than I would've expected. It took a couple strokes for my body to make the adjustment for his, it was rough, since I wasn't wet or prepared for sex. I continued to fight, but I realized it was futile, so I made myself rigid as possible. He quickly established a tempo, pushing his hips so he penetrated as deeply as he could with his long fat cock, sometimes nudging my cervix, causing me to adjust my hips as best I could.
I tried to distract my mind from it. Why had he decided this was the answer to our dilemma? Contemplating that became difficult as he pumped in and out of me and my body was starting to betray me. I didn't want to enjoy this in the least, but I could feel a buzz starting in my core, tingles spreading out from my cunt. No! I couldn't, I wouldn't. I made a conscious effort to avert my thoughts away from pleasure, but it was in vain. Moisture came from inside me, clung to his cock, permitting him to glide in and out with no effort. My will evaporated, I gave in, yielding to the thrilling sensations coursing through me.
The tension in my legs slackened, allowing my knees to fall further open, easing his access. Still pinned, which, it appeared, was now exciting me, I couldn't move as I normally would, but could tilt my pelvis upward. Instantly, I was further aroused and became soaking wet. Detecting the change, he looked into my eyes and smiled. His rock like cock, sliced through the silken pink layers, occasionally brushing my clit, causing me shivers of delight. Taylor's balls slapped my ass as he pounded into me harder and faster, seemingly incited by my acquiescence. I absorbed it, anticipating each blow. Heat and tension were building in me, should I allow myself to cum? That would be giving in all the way and I wasn't sure I wanted to go that far. Like he read my mind, he rotated his hips so he came into greater contact with my clit. He was trying to make me cum.