I was concerned for my mother. My Dad had left her for another woman almost a decade ago and in that time she had only dated one guy. She had become insular and didn't socialise with anyone. In fact the only time she really talked to anyone outside of her job was when I would come over for Sunday dinner.
One night, as we relaxed after dinner with a bottle of red wine, I asked her why she didn't sign up for a dating site.
"I did, but it wasn't really my thing"
"Your thing?"
"I didn't meet anyone I really liked"
"But you did meet people?"
"Well yes, but.."
My mother trailed off and played with the rim of her wine glass. I cocked my head quizzically and waited, she finally relented.
"They were all younger guys, much younger, and they only wanted," she paused and lowered her voice, "sex."
I threw my head back and laughed.
"HAHA! That's what all young guys want! Plus, Mum, I'm 35 now, you don't have to be embarrassed talking to me about sex."
"But it is embarrassing!"
"Mum," I put on a serious tone while smiling, "don't you remember when I was a teenager and we had to have a long talk about the girls I was bringing home?"
My mother was blushing now and finished her glass before pouring another. I chuckled again, not wanting her to feel too embarrassed, but I was also keen to push her further. My mother is notorious for giving up an idea and I was really concerned that she was lonely. I was also a little bit drunk and feeling cheeky.
"So you didn't ever chat to any of them?"
"No! Like I said they were only after a one night stand and I've never..."
I let that one go as she took another swig of her wine.
"I don't know, sometimes you have to talk to these guys online first, they might be really nice, even if they are only after one thing." I gave her a comical wink. "And besides, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of sex."
My mother flicked me a look of humour mixed with annoyance. I decided right then that I would try and get my mother laid. It was probably the wine talking, but it seemed like a great idea to cheer her up and the more I thought about it the better the idea seemed. I just had to figure out a plan of action.
"Tell you what Mum, what don't you grab your laptop and we'll fire up the site and see if there's any guys online who want to chat?"
"I don't know..."
"C'mon Mum, you gotta meet someone somehow," by 'meet' I meant 'fuck', but I didn't say as much. "Besides, I'll be here and I can help you with what to say."
She looked at me skeptically.
"What've you got to lose Mum?"
"...ok," she agreed and got up to get her laptop and I refilled both of our glasses, figuring booze would help her be a bit more relaxed with the guys online.
She returned with the computer and took a couple of big sips while the site loaded on her screen. It was a site I had never used, but had heard of. It was a local site for our city and like all singles sites it had a well known hook-up culture. Mum quickly typed in her log in details.
First she showed me her profile. She'd chosen a pretty dull picture for her avatar, just her sitting on a park bench while on holiday. That was the first thing I decided to change. I slid in beside her and asked to take the controls. She relented and immediately stood up and took a swig of wine.
I looked through her images and found a nice one of her from last summer sitting the sunshine showing off a good amount of cleavage. My Mum has a nice looking pair of tits. She lost a whole lot of weight during the divorce and in doing so, created a waistline that emphasised how big her tits actually were. I paused briefly as I was a little surprised that I was thinking about my Mum's tits, but shrugged and uploaded the image.
"Oh that's a nice photo, I forgot about that" said Mum looking over my shoulder.
"Now let's think about what we want your profile to say"
"Well it doesn't say much right now..." Mum started to talk when she was interrupted by a beep from the computer.
At the bottom of the screen a small dialog box was flashing with the username BigDave87. I clicked it and the message was revealed: Hey bb, hru?
"Mum sit down, this guy wants to chat" I said, rising from the chair. She sat down and asked what to do. "Clicking that button will show you his profile and you just type to him in the box down there."
She clicked the link and as his profile loaded she asked, "What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hi Baby, how are you?' Don't worry about the weird abbreviations, just write how you'd write"
"Ok...Oh my god! He's 28!" For reference my mother is 60.
"You don't have to marry him Mum, just chat."
"What should I say?"
"Hahaha! Well, he asked how you are so why not tell him?"
She began typing:
"Hi there, I'm doing well. How are you?"
The response was almost immediate.
"Great! Love the pic u just uploaded!"
Mum turned and looked at me with a curious look on her face.
"There must be some sort of alert function that shows people if you updated your profile. In any case it was a compliment."
Mum turned back to the screen and typed: thank you.
"Add a smiley face," I said. She looked at me again. "Trust me." She typed in :-) and hit enter.
"Oh! It converts it into a little drawing!" she exclaimed, "that's neat!"
The chat box blinked again.
"Ur welcome! You've got a great smile and nice looking body! Very hot!"
Mum blushed and quickly replied again.
"Thank you ;-)"
"Oh! The smiley face is winking this time?" she said pointing at the screen.
"I think you made a typo," I told her, "the winky face is little more flirty, so it doesn't matter."
The chatbox updated again.
"Anytime lol! I think I would love to see more of you."
"Tell him you'll upload some more photos later," I said.
"Are we?" asked Mum.
"Maybe, but we'll cross that bridge later"
Mum typed in the reply, the response once again came swiftly.
"Lol! That'll be great, but I was meaning over a drink sometime?"
"Maybe, we'll have to see ;-)" typed Mum without my prompting.
