A month passed since Kylie and I had our drunken affair. The days that followed afterward were some of the most awkward I've ever had. We were both young, drunk and horny kids that had taken a situation too far.
I awoke a few hours after we passed out, it was about 10:00pm, my mom had gotten home and was treating herself to dinner and catching up on a soap opera. The first thing that rugged at me while I lied in that bed was regret. We both knew it was stupid and should've stopped it, but we just didn't. The hangover brewed with my emotions mixed for a shitty set of days to come. My mom didn't suspect anything, seeing as she was working a lot and was only off once a week. On one hand she needed the money; on the other she was just as bored as the rest of us.
Kylie and I barely spoke at all during these days. After I woke up that night I shut myself off in that room and practically lived there. I only left to use the restroom or to hunt for food. My days were wasted away playing video games or watching porn. Kylie, on the other hand, was taking the situation differently then I was.
Though we weren't talking for the following days, Kylie wasn't as miserable as I was. Kylie left the house every day to go see her friends. She was relatively popular, after all. Any friends that I had was doing exactly what I was doing- leaving this shitty world behind for an electronically produced one. Kylie was taking care of our ruined relationship by seeing other friends and enjoying her life, patching up the wound at home. At some point, she began bringing a guy home with her to her bedroom (while mom wasn't here). I would wear my headphones or do anything I could to block it out, but she moaned loudly, seemingly to taunt me.
Our relationship truly was ruined. Years of being friends and having fun had just gone down the drain. Her year away at college changed her for the worst, and she thought it fun to tease her step-brother. It was probably best I would be attending a different university now. My plan was to hope the summer went by quickly so we could be separated again and have time to heal. During this miserable month I managed to play through countless video games and binge watch several shows, I was even able to obtain some pot to accompany me.
My step-dad was coming to visit us for two days. Mom broke into my room one day to bring the announcement to my attention. What she didn't know, about, however, was the disgusting state my room was in. Scattered about the floor was dirty laundry, food, garbage, alcohol bottles- the room reeked. Needless to say, she was pissed. She wouldn't change her tone with me until I managed to put everything back in order after a few hours. Luckily, Kylie showed some compassion by staying in her room. Once I finally straightened up and showered, mom waltzed into her speech.
"We're going to dinner, all four of us. The night he gets here we'll get him unpacked and we'll all head out. He'll be gone again the next night. You are to be dressed and ready to go, no bullshit. Be polite. You haven't seen him since you graduated, after all."
"When is this gonna be anyways?" I asked her, sitting across from her in the kitchen.
"In two days. He called and explained everything to me a few hours ago, so we gotta do some cleaning up around here."
I sighed. It's not that I didn't want to help out, I really didn't want to be around Kylie. That sort of awkwardness was too unbearable for me right now.
"You can have the rest of the day off, but tomorrow we need to do something about that damn yard," she said, standing to look outside.
"Jesus fucking Christ, you'd think he could afford lawn care more than once a month."
I nodded, honestly having not payed much attention to it. "Can you put Kylie to work somewhere else then? I want to be out there by myself, I'll work better that way."
She laughed at my suggestion.
"What, did Kylie piss you off or something? If you two are at war I guess it would make sense. It did seem kinda funny that you've been in hibernation and she's been out in town constantly."
"It's none of your business, just forget it," I said, getting up to leave.
"Take our the trash before you go marching off," she barked. With that, she retreated into her bedroom.
I couldn't even remember the last time I had been outside. The sun scorched me so much my eyes took several minutes to adjust. I took out the trash and took a walk up and down the street. It was just a normal day as any would be, but the sunlight was improving my serotonin. Once I finally got back home I actually accidentally caught Kylie before going back to my cell. We made an awkward glance in the hallway.
"Haven't seen you in a decade," she said, almost grinning.
"Yeah I guess," I said, walking past her and into my doorway. I was nervous.
"Well you can't be depressed forever. We're gonna have to talk eventually."
I closed my door behind me and went to sleep.
The next day I was mowing the lawn and sweeping the patio while Kylie and Mom took care of things in the front yard. Mom checked on me hourly to see my progress. It was relatively easily, it just took a lot of stamina to muster, so, time. The two waters I brought out had been depleted so I was about to have to find something else. To my aid, Kylie came from the front yard with a gift. She approached me with two energy drinks in hand.
"Brought you a peace treaty," she said, gesturing them towards me.
I took them, and turned to get back to work.
"So what, do you want me to apologize?" She now has a more stern tone.
I turned back to her, taken aback.
"This was both our fuck up. Sure, I instigated it, I'll give you that, but you're the one who brought it up to speed. It's not entirely our fault anyways, we have the vodka to blame for that."
My fist balled up, I was now fuming.
"Can you shut the fuck up? I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to-"
"I miss you dude. I know you're upset about it and I know it's awkward to talk about, but fuck, I just miss you," she interrupted, on the verge of tears.
I felt too awkward. I was pissed. I took the drinks and got back to work. After several seconds she turned and left. We didn't speak again for the rest of the day.
My mom planned for the next day of cleaning to be short, detailing the inside of the home. The only area that was really messy was the kitchen, and the living room just needed to be arranged and scrubbed down. Because the job was so small compared to yesterday's my mom let me opt out and just camp in my room again. Nothing really happened until that night.
Though I was upset at the situation and I was mad at my step-sister I did in fact miss Kylie. After what she said to me the previous day, my emotions slowly came back to me and I was now up to speed. I developed a plan to go out and buy some Smirnoff as a "peace treaty". I managed to get my mother to go buy some and get it back to me buy 11:20pm. I knocked on Kylie's bedroom door and she opened, semi-surprised to see me.
"I brought you a peace treaty," I said, gesturing the alcohol to her. She looked pissed, but then she looked at the bottle, back at me, then broke down into tears. I responded by giving her a tight hug.
"I'm sorry okay? I can be a dick. I'm stupid."
"Yes you really can," she said. "You made me cry. Right here. Dick."
"Maybe we should talk about this?" I said, checking to make sure my mom wasn't near.
She let go of the embrace, and let me in her room. We sat next to each other on her bed. We took a deep breath, and she spoke first.
"First of all, here's what I think about the whole thing: it's not that bad. It's not terrible. It would be so much worse if we were blood related, but we're not. I'm not sorry for the teases before it got worse, but I am sorry I let it go forward."
I was hit with a sigh of relief, but wasn't sure how I felt about her opinion on it.
"I'm sorry I made it worse. I did pull my dick out after all," I said, managing to get her to giggle.
"Sure," she said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But at the end of the day we do need to acknowledge that we both were pretty drunk and that's exactly why it went as far as it did."
"Yeah," I agreed, looking up at the ceiling in thought. "I think it would honestly be smart to have a rule to not drink along again."
"You may be right there," she said. "But, I do want to address my thoughts one thing."
I turned to her, ready to hear what she has to say.
"Like I said before, I really don't think it was terrible, terrible. Am I implying we should do it again? No. That's only going to make it worse. But was it really that bad that we did what we did? Think about it."
I opened my mouth to speak up, in disgust, but was stopped by her.
"I know what you're going to say, but just try to understand. We are not related. We are siblings that live together, yes, but it isn't that terrible. Weird things like this probably isn't that uncommon, it is a kink after all." I gave her a weird look, and she laughed. "Not that I'm saying I'm into that, I'm just trying to semi-normalize this. We're not up for the death penalty is all I'm trying to say."
I reluctantly let the ideology just soak in my head for a few seconds. Then, I voiced my opinion.
