The day had finally come. Danielle's baby had grown up and graduated High School. Danielle hadn't known adult life without her daughter, Emily, who she'd had when she was only 16. While Danielle hadn't been a wild child in her youth, she had still managed to get herself pregnant with the first boyfriend she'd ever had--David--her current husband and devoted father to Emily. Danielle glanced over at him as he sat next to her on the bleachers, clapping furiously while watching Emily receive her diploma down on the graduation stage. She waved up at them from the stage, her smile and twinkling walnut brown eyes an indication of the jubilation that filled her.
It was a happy time and yet there was a tinge of sadness in the air as the sons and daughters of a crowd full of proud parents would leave the comfort of home and begin their journey of adulthood; Likely going away to college or traveling and eventually starting families of their own to repeat the cycle. It was that last part that scared Danielle the most; Emily leaving.
Since the early age of 16, Danielle's life had revolved around caring for and raising Emily to have the chances she herself didn't. Her one night of absentmindedness had stolen away her dreams of attending a top college and eventually becoming a marine biologist. Her grades weren't the issue, as her cumulative GPA had settled at an impressive 3.89 despite going through pregnancy and birth while still in high school. It was the sacrifice Danielle had to make to keep and take care of her newborn baby that had changed her life's trajectory.
While she had regrets, Danielle wouldn't change the way it had turned out. Emily was a smart, kind, compassionate and beautiful young woman who had filled Danielle's life with joy from the moment she was born. She had even bested her in GPA, finishing with an astounding 3.97, although thankfully she didn't have teen pregnancy getting in the way. With that GPA and the numerous extracurricular and volunteer activities Emily had participated in during her High School tenure it wasn't hard for her to get into a top college. She had chosen Dartmouth and would leave in the fall.
That meant Danielle had three more months with her daughter before she would go out and begin her own journey of adulthood. Danielle intended to use those remaining three months to spend as much time with Emily as she possibly could, as likely when she came home, she would no longer be her 'little girl' anymore but a full-fledged woman who no longer needed to be taken care of. And that is exactly what Danielle enjoyed the most, taking care of her daughter. She delighted in being the most important person in her daughter's life and making sure she had all the support that she needed. Knowing that it was all coming to an end sent a shudder through Danielle and represented a looming darkness in her mind.
"Let's go hon, it's picture time," David chimed, beaming with pride.
Danielle smiled at David and started down the stairs of the bleachers toward the crowd of hugging parents and newly graduated offspring. Emily was standing toward the back with two of her best friends Hannah and Madison, whom Danielle knew well from their many times spending nights over at their home during sleepovers. All three of them were smiling and chatting enthusiastically about one thing or another, probably upcoming college life.
When she noticed her parents approaching Emily immediately broke off conversation and smiled warmly. It was like looking at a young version of herself, an uncanny likeness Danielle noticed more and more often as she'd aged. Both Danielle and Emily stood 5'4" and slim but not in an unhealthy way, with golden straw blonde hair stretching just past their shoulder blades. Her skin was impossibly pale, almost like snow but perfectly flawless aside from a few very cute beauty marks that dotted her arms and thighs and one tiny one on her left cheek--Danielle had a similar one on her right cheek an inch lower. Neither of them had been blessed with large breasts or voluptuous hips but they were well proportioned to their bodies and despite neither of them being athletes had very nice muscle tone. She'd always felt the term 'svelte' to be an apt description of her body type and it applied to her daughter as well.
For a moment Danielle had been lost in her thoughts--feeling like she was looking into a vision of the past--but her daughter's warm embrace brought her back to reality.
"I love you, mom. I appreciate everything you've done for me, and I will never forget it," Emily whispered in her ear as they continued hugging.
Danielle fought back tears and could only muster a feeble 'Thanks sweety,' without breaking down. After a few more moments, Danielle loosened her hug and let David have his turn--mirroring other parents who were also doing the graduation celebration carousel. She watched her doting husband hug Emily and fight back tears just as she had while Emily whispered into his ear. She imagined that his message was very similar to her own, as David had always been a wonderful and supportive father. Despite that fact, Danielle had always felt she and Emily had a very special mother-daughter bond that couldn't be matched--even by her father. Finally, they broke their embrace and the picture-taking began.
It was a bit of a lonely drive home. Emily had left the graduation ceremony with Hannah and Madison who were all attending a graduation party. Unlike many of the other parents, Danielle knew that she had nothing to worry about when it came to Emily making poor decisions. There were the few times she'd snuck out to meet a boy or come home late a little tipsy but on the whole, Emily was as level-headed as you could be at 18. Danielle liked to think that it was her strong morals and good parenting that resulted in Emily's good decisions, but maybe she just took after her mother naturally.
"I'm gonna miss that girl," sighed David.
Danielle looked over at her husband, who's eyes were puffy and agitated as a result of wiping tears away. He looked back and smiled, blue eyes twinkling but mirroring the same sadness she reflected back at him at the prospect of losing their little girl.
"We'll be fine honey. She's gonna visit every holiday and every break and she'll be calling and texting and emailing. It will be like she's not even gone," she replied, doing her best to reassure him but hardly believing any of it herself.
The final 3 months ended up being wonderful, if not bittersweet due to the always looming finite nature of it all. They'd gone camping, hiking, shopping, had dinners and movie nights; It was a microcosm of all the joy and happiness of having a child, and yet now it all felt so long ago.
It had been 6 months since Emily left for Dartmouth and it had been the hardest 6 months of Danielle's life. She didn't even remember her teenage pregnancy being this hard. It was during this time that Danielle had realized how devoted a mother she had been to Emily and how much of her life revolved around her in one way or another. Danielle realized that she didn't really have any friends and didn't really have any hobbies. Occasionally she would write poetry or read a book but more than anything she felt empty.
This feeling of emptiness had permeated into Danielle's relationship with David. Without Emily as a bonding agent and a reminder of what they'd created together their marriage had suffered. It was a harsh reminder that if it weren't for Emily, they'd likely have parted ways before they ever reached adulthood. It was only the combined love for their child that had united them and now that she had grown up and moved out there was so little between them that they often felt like strangers or platonic roommates.
But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was how infrequently they heard from Emily. It started with a phone call every night. That turned into a couple texts a day and a phone call or two per week before settling to a stray text or email every other week. Additionally, Emily hadn't been visiting during her break nor was she especially excited at the prospect of having them visit her. Danielle trusted Emily implicitly, but even she had begun to question exactly what was going on with her normally very dependable daughter.
It was another restless night of sleep--Danielle's mind would not shut down. She had the day off tomorrow and she almost wished she was working instead. If she were she wouldn't have to invent things to do all day while she pretended not to worry about Emily. Suddenly, her lackluster attempts at sleep were interrupted. Was that? Knocking? Did she hear the doorbell?
Danielle peered into the darkness over at David who didn't seem to be awake or have noticed, and then at her phone that sat on the bedside table.
"3:23am," she whispered softly to herself.
