Our Family Adventures Pt 12

Our Family Adventure

The scenery flew by in a blur. The colors blending as one huge smear across the window. I didn't know if it was because of the speed, or because I had checked out. My mind reeling, my stomach in knots, my emotions all over the place, I was a complete mess.

Why! I wanted to scream. Why is this happening? Why us? Why now? Why, why, why? I know that sounded so selfish now considering Milla's life could literally be in danger but here I sat thinking of how this was just one more thing happening to me. I really was a terrible person.

"Sarah..."

It had not gotten by me that it seemed that since a week ago this past Friday that things had started happening. Now I'm not pushing the whole karma thing as a real thing or anything but was that what this was? Just bad karma. I know most people think that what my family is engaged in is not just illegally wrong but morally wrong as well. Incest. Such a little word for so many implications that could be had.

"Sarah..."

First John and now Milla. Bad karma went back as far as I could remember in this family. Martha's cancer. Floyd being killed, John's arrest and now accident. The list went on and on of things never even mentioned in these writings. And now Milla. She may not be biological family, but she did tell me that she had engaged in incest with her mother. And as far as I was concerned, I was her mom now. I..."

"SARAH! Are you even hearing me?"

The blur was fading as dusk settled in and all I could see now was the reflection of the lights from the dash in the window. I heard Kim talking but did I really want to answer? And how is she going to fit into what I knew was needing to be done. I at least owed her the respect of my attention.

"I'm sorry. Just thinking. What were you saying?"

"I asked if you were going to tell me what the hell is going on."

I nodded slowly as I was considering just how much she needed to know. In the end I decided to tell her everything and let her decide for herself how much she wanted to get involved, if any at all.

I explained to Kim how Milla came to live with us and the life she came from. I realized that I didn't even know all the details of that life, but I knew enough and read between the lines. It wasn't a pretty picture I painted, and Kim squirmed in her seat a little as I told her.

I also told her the fun parts as I was trying to relive the good to override the bad. I told Kim about the first time Milla, and I had sex. When John and she had sex, and even the day when Ashley and I had returned from being with her and Bian and what transpired when we got home. I was starting to feel more upbeat and surer of myself that all was going to be okay, then Kim said.

"May I be brutely honest with you?"

I looked at her now unsure of how I felt about anything again due to her tone. In my experience anytime someone starts a question with those words it's never going to be easy after that.

"Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Okay. Well, a minute ago you were talking about what Milla had been living through before she came to live with you. Then you brought up the sex that you had together, not to mention now the sex that I have had with her..."

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Well, did it not occur to you that considering the life she was being forced to lead there, that maybe she needed a break from any kind of sexual involvement? Maybe some therapy. Also, considering that life, that maybe she should have been tested for lord knows what she may have contracted from who knows who."

I knew Kim was right and now again I felt terrible. Not just as a mother but as a person as well. I had no idea how to respond.

"And if I may, and hopefully don't make you mad for saying this, but you said right off that Ashley was the one that was interested in Milla, correct?"

"Yeah. Ashley said she thought she may have had a crush on her from school, volleyball, it doesn't matter. Why?"

"Well, Ashley brings her out to meet you and John after a game. Clearly, she is interested in getting to know her better. You all go out and eat and then everything else happens and you bring her home with you. Then within that same night you had sex with her. Does Ashley know that? I know she knows that John had sex with Milla before her, but does she know you did as well and that very same night you brought her home, knowing that Ashley was interested in her. Possibly for more than just sex."

It hurt me hearing her say these things. At first my thoughts were defensive, trying to reconcile my actions but the more I heard I had to admit she was right. My tears began flowing freely down my cheeks and I turned away from her to stare out the window again.

Kim had stopped speaking. I don't know why. Maybe because she really was done speaking or maybe she realized her truth hurt me. We rode in silence for the next mile or two until she finally broke in and asked.

"So, what's the plan? How are we getting Milla back?"

I caught that she said 'we', but I wasn't ready to go there yet. I was still reeling from her words, and I needed to confront myself before I went any further.

"I don't know. Or I should say I'm not sure. Yes. No. I really don't know."

"What? What are you saying?" Kim asked.

"The answer to your question. 'Does Ashley know that I had sex with Milla before her and when'. I honestly can't remember if she knows or not. If she does, she hasn't said anything about it. Or at least not to me."

Kim nodded her head slowly in that 'I understand' way. I hated that she wasn't saying more. You can't argue or defend against silence. Damn she was good.

I hated to hear these things about myself but at the same time I respected Kim for being able to be completely honest with me and open. I knew if I was going to grow more as a person I needed to hear them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Right now, I was feeling ugly with myself.

"Thank you." I said to her.

"For what?"

"For being you. For being honest with me. For calling me out on my bullshit. And for being willing to piss me off and maybe even risk our relationship over it. Thank you."

"Risk our relationship? How so?"

"Well, ya know. You had no idea how I would react to hearing such negative things about myself. You didn't know if I would want to end it with you or try and start a big fight or just what might have happened, but you were willing to risk it all anyways so that you could be honest with me, and I appreciate that."

I knew that didn't come out exactly as I wanted it to, and I had no 'want to' to continue trying to explain myself. I also knew we were getting close to home, and I had other things to say.

"Look, I know deep down I suck as a person. I'm not much of a mother and lord only knows why you or anyone else would be even slightly interested in getting to know me, let alone be willing to be in a relationship with me. If you only knew half of the things that go on in my head, you'd run for the hills, and I wouldn't blame you. And that's not me being passive aggressive or having self-pity and trying to make you feel sorry for me. It's a fact and I know it."

Kim looked over at me for a second then turned her eyes back to the road with a sly smile on her face.

"What?" I asked her.

"Nothing. I was just wondering what some of those thoughts might be that I'd run for the hills if I knew. Trust me, I have thoughts too. And wouldn't it be funny if we had some of the same thoughts? Couldn't that be fun."

I laughed at this and turned in my seat towards her more. Even in the low light of the dash her silhouette was sexy as hell to me. I couldn't help but want her.

WHAT? And that's exactly what I was just saying about myself ran through my head. I should be worrying about Milla and creating a plan. No sexual thoughts until she was safe. But noooo, here I am thinking and wanting sex from a person I had only known for a little over a week. What the fuck is wrong with me.

"So, out of all that I just said, all you took away from it was the fact that we may have the same bad thoughts?"

Kim smiled mischievously. "No, I heard everything you said it's just I don't agree with you about most of it."

"Which part?"

"That you are a bad person or mother. That's bullshit. You are one of the most loving and caring people I have ever met, and you are a great mother. Remember I told you that back at the mall. As far as bad thoughts go, we all have them. The trick is, do we act on them or not. Also, you made some bad choices or decisions. We all do that too. The trick there is what do you do about it now? Do you learn from them? Do you rectify any problems associated with them? Do you own them and correct them if you can."

Her words made sense and I knew she was right. I knew I needed to talk with Ashley and apologize for my disrespect. I also knew that I owed Milla even more right now. But first we had to get her back.

"What would you think of me if I told you that I had bad thoughts just a minute ago about wanting to have sex with you when I should be thinking about Milla?"

Kim smiled big. "Honey that's not having bad thoughts. That's being human. A sexual being. There is nothing wrong with those thoughts. What would be wrong is if we were to pull over right now and have sex when Milla needs us the most. That's what would be bad. You don't think I want to have sex with you right now? I always want to have sex with you. In fact, if you remember right, we three were supposed to be getting our fuck on right about now. I was going to suggest that we all go over to my place and use Milla as the whore she wants to be. I was so looking forward to strapping on my cock and stretching the fuck out of her little cunt."

"I hate that when Milla refers to herself as whore. Slut is one thing but for some reason whore just bothers me."

"Why? What's the difference? I mean, what one person might think the word whore means, is what some would say is a slut, and vice-versa. Besides it's what gets her going. Bian is the same way. Sure, we make love every now and then but truthfully the only real way to satiate Bian is by treating her like the whore she wants to be treated like. At least in bed anyways. No way I would treat her like that in public or disrespect her like that in front of other people. I mean, unless that's what she wanted. I say if Milla wants us to use her and treat her like a whore than so be it. I know I like being treated like a whore sometimes and I know you do as well."

Kim looked over at me and smiled as I was looking at her with my hand down my pants rubbing at my sex.

"Do you think this is considered bad?" I asked her.

'Not at all. We haven't stopped to do anything. What is bad though is that you still have those pants on and you're not sitting close enough to me so I can have some too."

I quickly pushed my pants down while kicking off one shoe so I could remove one leg from them. I then slid as close to the console as possible and spread my legs as wide as I could.

Kim set the cruise control and reached over to my sex. Her finger slid down through my soaking slit and then back up. I tipped my hips forward and upward to give her better access to me. She needed no encouragement as she sank two fingers into me and immediately began banging away. I pulled my sweater up over my breasts and began tweaking both my hardening nipples.

I watched as Kim adjusted her seat so she could steer with her left knee. Then she pushed her pants down as well and her left hand went down to her sex as well and I could hear her wetness as she began slamming fingers into her own sex.

I tried to reach over to take care of her for her, but the angle was all wrong and I was so enjoying her fingers inside me. I slid a little lower in my seat so she could plunge deeper.

"You liked me talking about strapping on my cock and fucking Milla didn't you baby?"

I was starting to lose my breath and I knew I wasn't going to last long with her banging me as fast as she was. And now with the talk it was going to take even less."

"Yes, I loved that, but this is about us. I want you right now. Only you."

Kim smiled and pursed her lips together, blowing me a kiss. "Well alright then. You use me. What do you need. Not to rush you but we are only five minutes out."

'I don't know what I need. I just know I feel like I've been a nympho with a sex addiction lately. Nothing truly satisfies me and even if it does it only lasts for a minute and then I'm right back like a bitch in heat. I just can't get enough. I want everyone and all of them. I'm just a mess."

As I was telling Kim all of this she was still banging away at my cunt. It felt so good, and I knew I was about to cum but again it was just going to be a means. Never an end.

I think Kim was as lost as I was as far as what to say or do next. I looked up at her searching her eyes. For what, I did not know. I just knew I wanted her in ways I could never put into words. I closed my eyes to concentrate on closing this out as we were so close to home.

Not a word was said between us as she fucked at my sex and did the same to her own. I was so close now, but I just couldn't quite get there. I let go of my breasts and relaxed my body, settling into the seat. Kim felt the difference and slowed her pace to almost nothing. She could sense my frustration.

"What's wrong baby?" she asked me concerningly.

"I don't know. I just can't get there. It takes so much anymore. I don't understand what is happening to me lately."

Kim removed her fingers from my sex as she did her own. I turned to get into the console retrieving some wet wipes so she and I could clean up. We cleaned ourselves and redressed properly.

My mind was everywhere now as we got ourselves together. How embarrassing I thought. I bet she hates me now. I couldn't even get off from her fingers. Just on and on. I was being totally neurotic, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it. I needed to say something to bust the silence between us.

"I..."

"Look..."

Kim started as I did, and we laughed and then deferred to the other as everyone always does and then I sat quietly knowing I wasn't going to say anything now until she did. I guess she picked up on that, so she went ahead and spoke.

"Look, there's nothing wrong with not cumming. It's a stressful time and we're flying down the road. A dark two-lane road at that, with no painted lines or markings. How the fuck is anyone supposed to see where they're going on this damn thing. Damn sure can't relax and enjoy a good finger bangin when it's being given to ya, that's for sure. So yeah, don't sweat it."

I couldn't help but laugh and she laughed with me. "You're something you know that."

"What? I was being serious. Besides I made ya smile and laugh Gorgeous."

Kim reached across and cupped my cheek and chin in her hand. I nuzzled my head into her hand and turned to kiss her palm. "I really do love you, Kim."

"And I love you, but you still seem not yourself. Talk to me baby."

Our house sits a ways off the road so the drive is almost a quarter mile long and it's unpaved so on a quite night and nothing on in the house you can hear someone coming up the drive from a ways out.

"Pull over here and shut off the lights."

"Oooh, I like where this is going."

I snickered at her flirtation but was still battling my demons. I didn't say anything at first after we stopped, and the lights were off. Kim didn't ask anything, so I just took a minute. Kim reached over and took my hand in hers and I looked into her eyes.

"Do you know what the term 'chasing the dragon' means?"

Kim laughed and I felt ridiculous right then. I pulled away from her and turned to face the window.

"Never mind, it's nothing. Let's just go."

Kim didn't move except to turn off the truck, making it even darker than before. "We ain't going nowhere. And it's going to get cold fast, so you had better start talking and tell me what this is all about. I'm also going to take your hand again and you are going to let me hold it and not pull away. You're also going to let me love you all I want and most importantly you are going to quit acting like a child."

I turned sharply to her and had to squelch the urge to slap her face as I almost yelled at her. "Nobody talks to me like that and..."

Kim had turned in her seat as well and moved towards me with a quickness that I didn't register. Her hand shot out and cupped the back of my neck and pulled me towards her as she was moving towards me. Our mouths came together, our lips parted, and our tongues did the rest.

I was mad at the way she spoke to me, and I didn't know what to do with my hands. I didn't want to kiss her, but my mouth and tongue said otherwise. I felt her hand tighten on the back of my neck and she pulled me closer as she was climbing over the console and above me.

She pressed down onto me as she continued to kiss me, and I felt her left-hand grab at my right breast. She wasn't being gentle about any of it as she continued to crawl onto me. Her tongue pushed deeper into my mouth as she opened hers wider to almost swallow me whole.

I lost my balance as she continued to push, and I ended up on my back in the seat with my head and neck at an angle against the door. I don't know how she managed but she stayed latched onto my mouth kissing me. Her left hand had been kneading at my breast with a force that was not loving but wasn't crude either. Her hand only stayed put for a minute and then I felt it traveling down my side, settling between my legs and rubbing at my sex through my pants.

Her bodyweight on me and the terrible position we were in made it impossible for me to move. Quite frankly at this point I no longer wanted to. I was succumbing to her control, and she knew it. I started kissing her back as my hands tangled in her hair. I was groping for her ass one second and then trying to find her breasts the next.

She was slightly turned onto her right side trying to keep her body from covering my crotch area as she worked her hand deeper between my legs and pressed as hard as she could grinding her hand against my clit through my pants. Her legs wrapped themselves around my left leg as she grinded her sex against the outside part of my calf. I could almost feel her swollen clit through the leggings she had on.

My hips were bucking up into her hand as my orgasm neared. She squeezed harder and pressed down on me pushing her palm flat against the front side of my mound. I reached down with both my hands and took hold of her wrist as if I was holding a big dildo inside myself. This allowed me to position her hand where I needed it the most. I bucked up into her hand as I forced her wrist up and down against me. Her mouth came off mine.

Our breathing was ragged, but I could hear her as her mouth dropped to my ear where she bit my earlobe. "You're right. This isn't about anyone else. This is about you and me. Me and you. It's about us. Us baby. Now use me for what you need. Take what you need from me. I love you, Sarah."

Those three little words at the end were all I needed. I exploded into her. My hips were out of control, and I had a death grip on her wrist like no other as I pulled her harder against me. I could feel my pants wetting from my fluids as I released and then released again.

I knew it wasn't much, but I could feel Kim having her own orgasm against my leg and I tried to press harder to her to give her the base that she needed. She pulled her hips away from me. "Don't worry about me baby. This is for you. Take it. Quit being so giving and take what you need. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish."

My hips were still bucking against her hand, and I rode through one last orgasm flooding my pants even more. Kim started kissing me again but this time in a much gentler way. A loving way and I melted against her as my body subsided and finally came to rest.